Ask A Good Question, Get An Exceptionally Stupid Answer.

An alien told me "why zoidberg?"

Why zoidberg?

 

Why not Zoidberg?


Would a goldfish die if it only ate 2 hams instead of 3?

 

I have purchased many bags of goldfish in all the different flavors and not one time did they eat anything...never mind ham which would if anything melt those crispy crackers.

Why is Stephen hawking looking for aliens

 

Perhaps he's looking for affordable help.

What makes a magnet magnetic?

 

It's friendly personality.


Could surfers use cayenne capsules to keep sharks away?

 

yup and then they could have a nice salty broth for their shark fin soup.

how would we make runnable cars without plastic or rubber?

 

By using fake plastic and fake rubber.

What would be a more honest name for toilet paper?

 

One time my friends uncle told him to go get shit paper. We walked outside and i was laughing about him saying shit paper. When we came back from the store my friend got in trouble because he thought it was him that was saying shit paper and laughing.
So yeah thats my answer.

How do i make my phone go faster?

 

Buy the "Ludicrous" speed enhancement from Tesla.


When will gasoline powered cars be a thing of the past?

 

When the arabs realize how much power they have.

How do you pick your pets name.

 

alien intuition

How many more pets do you want?

 

You can pet me all you want.


Do you think they should remake Back to the Future?

 

Well if all of the DVDs come up missing, then they'll have no choice but to remake it.

Why is it that when someone has a garden, at the end of the summer they give you a shitload of zucchini when they had watermelon, green peppers, strawberries, etc.? Fuckers . . .

 

A better question is why do they plant zucchini.

What makes a comedian funny.

 

Having a "duff" (Designated UnFunny Friend).


Shouldn't it be "Mission Improbable"?

 

Only if they want to make a couple hundred million dollars less....or turn it into a comedy.

Why do people root for college football teams when they know nobody that went there and they never even graduated high school.

 

Whether or not they know anyone from the college is really not the point here. Since college football teams don't spent any time under the ground, it's just silly to root for them; they're not there.


Why do women have to keep their breasts covered?

 

In my book, they don't have to!

Why doesn't the u.s. go metric?

 

Because we're skeptical of changes in our cages.

Was the decision to ingest what comes out of a cow's tits the result of some kind of beastiality thing?

 

I just pulled out some mutant hair from my neck. It was at the very bottom of my beard. Not long but super corse and thick and it just pulled right out as if i was on chemo or something.