Ask a silly question ... get a silly answer

Yes, unless its puss...lol, sorry

How would you light the fantastic?

 

fantastic is mostly water and vinegar, that shit will never light up.

how is it that the nicest electric razor i ever had was $7.00 when the cheapest ones i ever had were $10.00 and they were all shit? (i dont even buy the good ones anymore because its easier to not take care of it and just buy a cheap one when it fucks up.)

 

Because of mass production and bulk buying.

Was that a too serious answer?

 

it was the answer of choice in a silly world so if that answers your question.

i have a special bottle of beer im saving for a special occasion, what would be such an occasion?

 

A naked stroll through to the supermarket (unless that is not a special occasion for you of course)

Can there be such a thing as worldpeace?

 

sure if you can get 7 billion people of different rearing and backrounds to all agree to not hurt each other then i guess anything is possible.

i got an insurance application mailed to me but the wrong name is on it, should i return it pretending to be that person? (only problem is that they say to send $1. for each person if you dont do automatic withdrawal. i guess to keep people like me from fucking with them...so is there a way around that? could i put a dollar worth of stamps in the envelope?)

 

Send them an IOU...tell them if they pay, you will double it!

What happens when you suck a lemon?

 

you get vitamin C

when they have free giveaways at the game are they really free if you paid for the ticket that is required to get the said giveaway?

 

Of course they are...its the ticket thats not...

Whats jelly made of?

 

Gel and elf magic.

Do trees like the wind?

 

Yes, if it blows real bad, they take their clothes off!

Do horse riders really say "giddy up"?

 

No, horses say giddy up...riders say "Go!"

Why do winds blow?

 

To clean the earth.

How can you tell when a cat is happy?

 

When she has had enough gophers to spare you a live one to play with.

How many grasshoppers will a cat catch in a summer day?

 

Enough to fill its stomach.

Why do we see what we want to see?

 

Because you face things if you want to.

What type of money does a soda machine take?

 

Whatever you are foolish enough to put in it.


What's your favourite machine?

 

Electric can opener.

What's your favorite hand held tool?

 

Dentist's drill ... as long as it's somebody else sitting in that chair


Why do members of the medical profession always say "No this isn't going to hurt"?

 

They mistakenly think you are asking if it is going to hurt them, not you (they always think it's a silly question).

Why does underwear come in different colors when it is rarely seen in public?