Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer

At her local butcher-they do a great razor cut.



Does Vaseline have other uses?

 

Yes, but we can't mention them here.

How do they turn trains around in train yards.

 

Carefully,so as not to scratch the paintwork.


Why is lumpy water called ice?

 

Because diahrea was already taken.

What do you add to dehydrated water?

 

a bottle of water

wht do ya add to creamless icecream ?

 

Crushed Nuts and Choccy Sauce!


Where can I buy a left-handed pencil?

 

in the lefthanded shop

where can i buy right-handed paper ?

 

Try your local head shop.

Do rocks hear?

 

don't know,but their great listeners

why is'nt west pointing east ?

 

They do here.(Rocks.)

Is heaven floating around on a pink fluffy cloud with your parents for eternity?

 

Because it would have to look over its shoulder to do so.

In the U.S. we have inch worms. Do you have them in the U.K.?

 

!

 

Yes.He's our prime minister,David Camermoron.

What currency do the usey on Mars?

 

euros

how many lbs in a stone ?

 

14 avoirdupois pounds.

What's an avoirdupois pound?

 

a place to punch people in the gut.

why do gay people talk the way they do?

 

Because they have a stick up their butt.

Why does lesbian sex turn men on so much?

 

cos they have no off button

why is'nt the grass blue

 

Obviously you're not smoking the right stuff.


How do you change oil in a lawnmower?

 

turn it upside down

how do ya change a spark plug in a chainsaw ?