Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer

From end to end.

Where is the end of the rainbow?

 

right in the centre

why are invisible things invisible ?

 

Because they're not outvisible.

Why isn't there such a thing as a Lowland Fling?

 

cos the high-landers could'nt make it down the mountain

why am i so gorgeous ?

 

Because you can't spell "gorgon"?

Why did somebody have to go and invent leg waxing?

 

because they were skint an tryin' ta make a few bob

how high is the moon ?

 

Depends what it's been smoking, and how recently.

Why do "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing?

 

cos same thing confused it's definition

how low is the ground ?

 

Pretty damned low

How high is the sky?

 

3feet

how tall am i ?

 

That depends whether you're being a lower case i or an upper case I at the time.

Why is making your date pay half the bill called "going Dutch"?

 

Because most people can't spell Czechoslovakian

Why is Snookie famous?

 

for snooker

why does grass grow ?

 

Because it gets watered.

What the fuck is the internet??

 

Its that thing al gore invented


why are school buses always yellow?

 

They aren't. You Americans need to stop being so parochial about everything, and see what goes on in the rest of the world.

Why are there only 3 feet in a yard? Why can't there be pi? (It would make it much more nearly equal to a metre, which would make the Europeans happy for a start ...)

 

cos the measuring tape says so

how many letters in the word the ?

 

They all are.

Why don't aliens ever land in the middle of a budding metropolis in the middle of the afternoon?

 

because some egomaniac traffic warden would ticket their spaceship within 2 minutes.
[Yew carnt laaand 'ERE,mate! This year is Residents Only,squire! Have ay tickitt!]


Why are there no left-handed ashtrays?

 

Because us left-handers get discriminated against right and centre.


Why all the fuss about tennis players grunting, when the game is supposed to involve a racket or two?