Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer

YES! K'OFF!


And take that DISGUSTING habit with you!



[did I make myself clear?]

 

Clear as a boot jack


Why is 13 unlucky?

 

Coz it's the average number of fingers per person in certain parts of Norfolk.





Why does the phone ring the INSTANT I'm submerged in the bath?

 

wrong number

is it really possible ta drown in 3ft of water ?

 

Sure ... if you're a leprechaun


Is today the partridge in a pear tree?

 

no, its the snake in the grass day

at what speed does a fox trot ?

 

Depends how close the hounds are, I guess


Did Flora MacDonald make low-fat spread or high-fat burgers??

 

non fat grapes

where was moses when the lights went out ?

 

trying to make his way down a mountain in the dark with the fiftee...oh SHIT!...I mean,ten[ahem] commandments carved in tablets of rock.




What's the point of light being invisible?

 

power-points

what do we need so many doors in houses for ?

 

Coz solid walls can be inconvenient when in a hurry.



Why do light houses weigh so much?

 

Light houses don't weigh much, the light beams weigh alot.

Where does the light go when you turn it off?

 

It hides in the darkness,waiting to leap out at you when you next flick the switch.




What's the difference between Outer Space and Deep Space?

 

Outer space is sometimes shallow.

Does the Transylvanian cricket team play with vampire bats?

 

No-they use 'Ein Fledermaus' as ein ball...which is actually ein bat... so...er...oh,shut up!



Is a cricket field the only place you could bowl a maiden over and not get arrested?

 

How about Maiden Lane in Stamford?

Why can I never think of a sensible stupid question to ask?

 

...with the emphasis on???. . . . .




How come wimminz brains can't keep up avec us chaps?

 

Because they really don't feel the need to win all the time.

Why why why Delilah?

 

just because

why can't fish live outside of water ?

 

They can. Just not for very long.

Why can't truckers recite Latin poetry?