Ask Stereotypical Christian Anything

does jesus really love me?

 

That is rather witty. I mean, it made me laugh. But I replied the same day...
Still funny though.

Okay then, new question.

How long can a guy grow his hair before it is long enough for the devil to grab it and pull him into hell with him?

 

Should we care about the environment even though the end is near?

 

Dear Mr. Stereotypical Christian,

How does it make you feel when people like myself and Timothy Leary use the phrase, "I am God"?

 

OK, now I KNOW you're just a parody. Probably another of Adam's nicks. It's well documented that I have been right as rain since I stopped taking my meds, I am a married man and gave up sheep for lent in 1977.

 

Sstreetnulov, does Jesus love you? Yes, but you know what he loves more? People who aren't of the third sex. You can't be all of the above.

 

Rayne, although glue is a legal substance sniffing it is not a good idea. You want to walk around with your nostrils shut forever and have to breath through your mouth all the time? You'll never get a prom date without active nostrils.

 

Cosmic do you put lipstick on your dead grandmaw? Exactly. Next question.

 

I don't feel much at all. Because, I realize that you and Mr. Leary have a BUNCH more in common besides that phrase. Tons of psychedelic drugs anyone?

 

Zoomie, I'm sorry your parents favored your other 8 siblings. But, please find your attention somewhere else. I'm trying to be covert and convert. I don't have time to be your personal Barney.

 

Dear Mr. Stereotypical Christian:

I am so glad we agree. Aren't you?

I have hope that maybe, one day, an enlightened Portalguy will drink the wine and dance at the wedding.

Peace and Love

 

Dear Mr. Stereotypical Christian:

Which denomination is going to heaven? Is it the Baptists, Pentacostals, Methodists, Catholics, or who?

 

You don't get it. That's all.

 

Nothing to get. Mr. Stereotypical Asshat.

 

Varuna I don't drink wine. If I were to drink though I'd swig some of your dad's stockpiled cheap scotch. Remember the odor on his breath right before you got a smack for not listening? That's the one.

 

Rayne, God doesn't see denominations. You know what he sees? Flag burning free lovers who aren't gonna have to go to their tanning beds. SPF 1000000000 anyone?

 

contradictory values anyone? the flag represents among other things, free expression.

 

Hi, my name's Thumontico. I enjoy posting blind on threads. Not really understanding what they're about.

 

Okay, thanks for clearing that up!

 

Remember folks this is all said with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

Dear Mr. Sterotypical Christian,

My full name is Benjamin Dover Cummings but folks call me Ben for short.
I'm a vegetarian tree hugger. Let me tell you about my day.

It was cold in the house this morning so I went next door and stole my neighbors flag to use for fire starter. While the fire got going I warmed up some soy milk and went upstairs to wake up my gay lover Rod Gottabigone. After Ol' Glory was burning brightly I grabbed my neighbors cat for my morning sacrifice to Molech. After a breakfast of soy milk and "white meat" I left to take my soon to not be pregnant friend Ima Bigho to the abortion clinic. I then went on to my job at the stem cell research center. After work Rod and I went to see the Justice of the Peace to apply for a Gay Wedding License. Rod and I are thinking of hyphenating our names to something like

Ben Dover Gottabigone or Rod Gottabigone Cummings.

So what do you think of my day?