Asperger's Syndrome

Being a loner is great, it really is but at the end of the day you yearn to be social and be part of a group, do something with other people. Being alone all the time really is a lot better then you would ever imagine because you don't have to listen to anyone, achnowledge anyone, deal with anyone but yourself and thats the beauty of being alone. But as I said earlier the downside of that is deep down you wish to be with somebody else.

 

You might. I don't. To each their own.

 

Not to drag up an old thread, but I was going to start a thread on Asperger's, so whatever.

Anyone who says AS is a fake, overdiagnosed disorder like ADD or something has absolutely no clue. Trust me. Go to youtube and watch some videos by/about people with AS. I have AS, and it has effected me strangely. I only figured it out about 9 months ago... haven't been diagnosed, but my psychologist at college said that even though she wasn't an expert on it and couldn't diagnose me, she thought my suspicions were worth investigating and probably correct.

I was always a little weird growing up... I was speaking like an adult in first grade, and it was very tough for me to bond with the other kids. I did have some friends, however. I've always had extreme intelligence and memory, as well as intensely passionate interests. I will become engrossed in something - say, the history of film, college football statistics, learning to read Japanese, guitar, perfect pitch, The Beatles, whatever - and I will do almost nothing except read about and think about that object of my fixation for weeks at a time. Only the freedom of living on my own at college really showed me how out of control I can be - I became completely antisocial, a frequent binge eater... I went from being t-totaller in high school to smoking pot almost every day... ugh. I quit running, quit caring about my hygene, became very paranoid and self-conscious. It was just a very dark time for me. However, two major things have happened since then... one is I found God, and two is while reading about autistic savants (still a subject of much fascination for me) I came across an article about AS. Needless to say it was a little freaky when I began to piece the puzzle together... first that my mom is clearly on the spectrum, and second that I too share many of the symptoms. It affects my mother VERY differently. I am for the most part introverted. I have a great sense of humor, very dry... and I can hold a conversation pretty well, especially one-on-one or in a group of three... beyond that, it gets tougher for me to know when it's my turn. My mother, on the other hand, is known around my community as that crazy lady who will talk your ear off for an hour if she bumps into you at the store, and that is exactly what she does. She has absolutely zero ability to perceive when someone needs to go or is bored. Someone will get in their car and crank it and she will continue talking to him/her. If you want to see what my mom is like, check out the video "Asperger's and Me" on YouTube. She is just the sweetest, most innocent person there is, but she is just way way too intense for most people (including me!). Her personality is extremely obsessive, but she has never channeled it into her interests, so any talents she might have are as of yet undiscovered.

When I first started playing guitar, I played for at least four hours a day, and within six months I was blowing people away. I have loved to listen to drums my whole life, and the first time I sat down at a drum set, I was ready not only to gig out, but to gig out with tremendous style and power It's quite a blessing in many ways, but "I" can't take credit, my intellect truly is a gift from God. I'm hyperlexic, obsessed with reading and writing. I have a 500 page single spaced journal full of philosophical musings, psychoanalysis of my friends and family (lol), jokes, ideas for skits, movies, stories... whatever. Started that about two years ago. But, it is somewhat of a curse as well. It is awfully hard for me to feel connected to anyone. For the most part, people just bore me. I don't know how else to explain it. I mean, I enjoy going out to eat with my friends, having a few laughs, but beyond that, unless we are having an intensely intellectual discussion, it can be tough for me to care. I go crazy if I stay completely isolated, but I do limit my socializing, simply because I'd rather be reading or playing guitar or something.

So, if anyone has AS or knows anyone with it, please share any relevant/interesting information. And of course if anyone has any questions about what it's like, I'd be happy to talk about it.

 

Oh, and as for joining the rat race... I'm quite happy not to be a part of it. Because what I've realized is that I'm not missing out on anything. Every time someone invites me to out to a bar or something, and I don't really want to go but I can't say no so I go anyway, I always wonder why the heck anyone would spend their evenings paying $5/drink and sitting in a dingy room hoping to meet some bar slut. And this will sound terrible, but sadly it is true... the difference in someone like me, IQ 160+, and a normal person, is actually greater than the difference in a normal person and a "retarded" person (even though, ironically, I am "retarded" in some ways myself). So, again, it's hard for me to feel like I'm really missing out on much.

 

Hi all.

It never ceases to amaze me, the way people can have only the vaguest concept of what something is, yet feel the need to preach about whether it's 'real' or not. They read three web pages and are suddenly an expert and ready to talk out of the crack of their arse about issues that affect other people's lives.

I too have Aspergers. It is a neurological disorder. It affects my motor skills - I trip, I spill things. I couldn't catch a ball till I was 10. It affects my ability to concentrate and focus. I am unable to 'tune out' of distracting background noise like fans whirring or taps dripping, the way neuro-typcal people can. I have hyper-sensory issues - flurescent lights, buzzing noises or uncomfortable clothes upset me so much I get aggressive.

I cannot read body language, can't read facial expressions. I can't look at someone and know how they're feeling, can't pick up the "vibe" they're giving out. It's not that I don't *care* how other people feel, I just can't *tell*. And it's not that I don't *want* friends or a lover or to feel part of a group, I *can't*. You know how many misunderstandings there are over email, coz someone will make a joke but the other person will think they're serious, or someone won't realise someone else is being sarcastic? Imagine every interaction you ever have being like that.

Having had 26 years of practice, I *can* carry on a normal conversation, but it's hard work. It isn't instinctive, and never will be.

So, if Asperger's is all fluff and creating names for 'normal' behaviour... what I've described is a normal life, is it?

 

I certainly fit the description, though I have never been diagnosed. It's nothing more than a personality trait, but it seems everything is listed as a syndrome or disorder these days.

 

What is normal, and who decides what "normal" is? What is so great about being normal? I am not normal based on what most people consider "normal" to be, but I don't dwell on it and feel pity for myself because I am not like everyone else. I am glad I'm not like other people.

 

Asperger's doesn't really have anything to do with "normal" or not. I mean, philosophically, when you get down to it, any description of anything is a description of that thing compared to a "normal" example of that thing - for instance, a big rock is big compared to a "normal rock," etc... no one is normal, almost everyone suffers from some sort of mental illness or quirkiness or something. AS involves fairly specific set of behaviors involving obsessive focus and either a lack of social understanding or simply social indifference or egomania. It's not like AS people are simply "weird" and so they all get labeled AS. Almost everyone I know at Columbia, for instance, is weird as shit, and although some of them are clearly AS, almost all of them aren't.

 

Well said, stay loose.

Peace and love

 

Hey guys.
I was never diagnosed with Asperger's, but my mom, who's a neurologist, believes I had it as a child. However, she believes I mainly grew out of it. Possible? Of course, some people ever grow out of Autism! Rare? Definitely.

What makes Asperger's and Autism patients different are the connections in their brain. It is simply wired differently: more local area connections, less long distance (lol). Each day, out brain makes and breaks connections, especially when you're growing.

For those of you who say that Asperger's is just being different, it's not true. People with Asperger's can't help being different. They are miserable because they can't be part of society, they can't be social no matter how much they try. Rebelling from society is rebelling by will. You choose to be different, to not fit in. You don't get depressed because of who you are inside, but by those around you: you're saddened by the phonieness and cruelty of society, you feel hopeless to change anything about it.

How has Asperger's affected me? I learned to read when I was three, and by the time I turned five I read all the books at my pre-school and had to bring books from home to read there. That's all I ever did: I read. I had almost no friends and was bullied around by my peers. I got along easily with adults and with those younger than me, however. I never tried to make friends, and I wasn't unhappy with the way I was. Somehow, being alone was better for me. My teachers were concerned, though. They insisted on talking with my mom, trying to get me to make friends. It never worked. I pushed aside people who tried to be my friends, but it never worked.

It wasn't until fourth grade that I tried to make friends, but it never worked. At that point, the crazy was about creating secret "clubs". I joined one (you had to beat a girl in a race to be part of it *eye roll*) and hung around. The more time I spent with people, the more lonely I got. I didn't even know how to act around people. The most embarrassing thing in the world I did ever was in 4th grade, when I realized I didn't want to hang around with these kids and I burst out singing like the dino in Land Before Time always did, making up a song off the top of my head, being stupid, dramatic. I didn't even realize how embarrassing it was until years later.

I've changed, and now I have many friends. Sometimes I do feel isolated from others, but it's not enough to bother my life. My mom says I'm bad at non-verbal communication, though I barely notice it. One thing I do notice, though, is that sometimes I'll be thinking about something so hard, I won't notice anything that's going on around me.