Avoiding Parent Consent

ya i know how you feel
Im 20 and my dad found out I was on birthcontrol last month (ive been on it since I was 16)
I was akward, but you will know when the time is right, a lunch with your mom, or a car ride some time to talk. Then you will tell them and it wont be a problem.

But do what makes you feel comfterble. Tell them if youd like dont if you dont want to, at least until your ready

 

Blah blah blah. You are rambling. Come back when you have something intelligent to say.

There's no point in arguing this further.

 

If it were your child,you'd advise against it? Teenagers are gonna have sex. Birth control or no birth control. Wouldn't you prefer your child was protecting themself?

Well here's my 2 cents.

I live in New York State, and here, you don't need parental consent. If you go to any clinic, make an appointment. You'll have to come in for a pap test and whatnot. Then if you have insurance, you can use that to pay for the pill, but if not, I'm pretty sure it's free. You'd probably opt out of using insurance, since it might show up on a bill that your parents will see. There's so many women's health clinics out there. Even try college campuses. They usually have a women's health clinic. I don't feel like there's any need to tell your parents if you don't want to. I'm not even going to say, wait until you're ready and comfortable to tell them. It's your body. It's your choice. And what you do with it is your business. Honestly. If you go tell them now, and they disapprove, then what? Protect yourself. That's the most important.

 

Lauren, I didn't tell my mom when I went on birth control either. Same thing - she said I could talk to her about anything, but I still felt amazingly awkward about it. One day I'll ask her what she would have said. (And she'll say "You went on birth control when you were 16?!" and die of shock.)

It's your decision when to have sex, and it's your responsibility to make sure you have birth control, so I think you're doing the right thing here! Go to Planned Parenthood and they WILL help you out. I'm proud of you for being responsible!

 

thanks molly

 

My mum never told me I could talk to her about anything, but she's always made it really evident by being really open with me. Yet, I never told my mum the girlfriend and I have been knocking boots. However, if there was a male version of the pill, getting it on my mum's insurance would definitely be enough motivation for me. I still feel Lauren should tell her mom (or should at least have the ability to shrug away the fears of awkwardness), but I guess this is the most important part:

 

right im still thinking im prob not gonna need it for a few months but i guess when i do something ill let you know what i do

 

You aren't active and you were worrying about this?
Fuck that.
Men shouldn't be so pampered. Until you find yourself a boyfriend or fuck buddy, save your money and only open your legs when there's latex around.

 

meh, like many have said on this thread, tehres more benefits to the pill than just reducing the chances of babies. regulating and lightenin gperiods are probably the best side effect it has its why i went on the pill, before i was even pondering sex with my bf

 

no i have a boyfriend and we almost have a few times but we decided were going to try to wait a bit longer so i figure its gonna happen sometime

 

Just make sure you're safe, Lauren. You don't want to get knocked up your very first time - that would be way lame. You should probably carry a condom with you for a while...sometimes things end up happening at the oddest times, y'know?

 

The pill scares me. I'm not a big medication person.
My girlfriend is thinking about it to calm her cramping. I am leaving the decision to her, though I would certainly like not having to worry about condoms.

Ah, the one thing I learned from having sex (just lost my virginity to my girl on Valentine's day) is that sex doesn't really matter that much.
Blowjobs and eating out and fingering can be just as and even more pleasurable.
Sex has a certain potency that those don't seem to, but it's really not all that.
Idealistically, I would suggest not having sex with anyone that you can't imagine handling the possibility of pregnancy with.
More realistically, just make sure to stay responsible about things

 

That's a good idea of MB's, to carry a condom with you if you think sex is going to happen sooner or later. Make sure it's not in a wallet right close to your body, like in your pocket, all day cos the heat can damage it.

I'm not really a medication person either, Duck, and I was on the pill for years! I'm really glad to not be taking it anymore but it DEFINITELY helps with cramps and other annoying period problems, so I can see the benefit for your gf.

 

I'm on the pill. I actually agree, I don't like medication, but there's just no way around it that works for us. IUD freaks me out; diaphragm just seems weird; condoms suck and neither of us want to get fixed.

 

IUD: 30 seconds of excruciating pain once every 5 years!

 

It just...it looks really creepy to me. Like a torture device. I can't imagine having it inside me. Ew.

 

yea id never do that yuck

and yea im generally against meds but its like you guys said about being safe and stuff

 

Yeah there are plenty of options, it's just a matter of finding out what works best for you

 

Planned Parenthood in California gives out free birth control. However, why are you taking it?

Are you taking it so you won't get pregnant because you want to have sex? Or are you taking it because your periods more often than not negatively impact your life?

If it's the second reason, sit down with your mother and explain to her it's not because you are having sex, but because your periods are severe enough they affect your life whenever they happen (mine did). If it's the first reason, go to Planned Parenthood and get a bunch of condoms and ask someone there to teach you how to put one on a guy. They are the only form of birth control that protects against both sex AND STD's, but they are only effective when put on correctly. Don't expect the guy to always carry them or know how to put them on, because they might not.

Furthermore, if it's the first reason, I highly recommend waiting until you are of legal age, which is 18 in California. If you are caught having sex while underage with an underage guy, you can still get in a shitload of legal trouble. Especially since in California, ANYONE can file a suit of statutory rape against someone else.

 

CA is not some Nazi state prosecuting 16 year olds having sex with each other. When I was 17 I dated a 20 year old, with my parents consent, and never had a problem. Even the times he got pulled over for speeding, the officer asked my age and did nothing. I got in more trouble for being out past curfew

But for teens here is some useful info:

Age of consent: http://www.coolnurse.com/consent.htm

CA law regarding "unlawful sex with a minor" (used to be called statutory rape)

261.5. (a) Unlawful sexual intercourse is an act of sexual intercourse accomplished with a person who is not the spouse of the perpetrator, if the person is a minor. For the purposes of this section, a "minor" is a person under the age of 18 years and an "adult" is a person who is at least 18 years of age.
(b) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is not more than three years older or three years younger than the perpetrator, is guilty of a misdemeanor.
(c) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor who is more than three years younger than the perpetrator is guilty of either a misdemeanor or a felony, and shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year, or by imprisonment in the state prison.

http://www.moraloutrage.net/staticpages/index.php?page=California