Bad Trip - Hospitalized - My confession

Sounds like a good trip to me. You learned stuff and didn't get hurt, what more do you want? You obviously didn't respect these entheogens before this trip.

 

I don't know what people do now, but in older times, sometimes a person would go on a retreat, like working on National Park trails or working on a farm or something physically challenging or something in service to others - for at least a few months. I dug what you said about writing yourself a note. I think you'll be fine.

 

You would have been tripping at 30 minutes.

 

That was an awesome story. Pure insanity. What a horrible trip though. I bet you still had an amazing night hahahaha

 

Sounded like you got to an amazing level, too bad you didn't handle the set and setting right. Imagine: with how opened-up your mind was on that dose, if you had been able to really explore it safely (maybe w/ a trip sitter, in nature as others have suggested), imagine how beautiful it might've been. Bummer.

...btw, 100mg of 2c-e! I can't even imagine...

 

Lol i took a big bump of 2ce doubt anywhere near 100 mg and I was tripping FACE not that intense but had some cool ass visuals. Females eye make up made but look like they had big black holes on their eyes lol

 

Yeah I don't like 2C-E very much. The only difference between a 30mg dose and a 100mg dose is the visuals completely overpower your vision. They're not good visuals either, it's just rainbows and red and blue everywhere so you can't really see anything. Also 2C-E trips always had a really bad vibe to them for me.

 

Yeah everything was colorful, horrible vibes, it was like a circus was surrounding me, I made everyone leave but had two friends stay cause I was scared lol.

 

I have the same effects smoking weed to this day after a weird trip 2 years ago. At first I thought it would ruin smoking for me, but through meditation taking small hits at a time, I've come to realize that it's almost like a prize.

I'm completely stable minded mind you, I can trip off a bowl of nug if I so choose. I just can't smoke and drive anymore hahahaha. Probably shouldn't ANYWAYS.

My experience was no where near the escalation of yours. I can compare the fact that my father a anti-drug marine vet didn't agree with what I was doing, but forgave me for it eventually. I can certainly compare with the lucid horrible visuals as well as the projection feeling. I think maybe you are a abuser of the drug and drugs. I don't want to say druged out loser, because its to harsh but you should find yourself in a sober lifestyle of the duration of your life. Once you get to the point where you are careless, limitless in your decisions to forsake reality and safety, you've gone way to far.

I understand the excitement of the experience and the inability to wait. I was in a similar situation, but I instead too a small dosage of what I had, and plotted out at least SOME sort of schedule.

I hope you make a full recovery into a normal lifestyle and that opening up with your story gives you closure, I know it did for me.

 

It's because they are overworked and underpaid and probably should be helping people who have had car accidents, been attacked, vs someone who has drugged themselves up on psychedelics - kinda self inflicted isn't it?

IMO.

 

:iagree:

 

That really was an incredible story!! Thanks for sharing. I can't believe that's how your parents found out, that'd be awful! Especially getting shipped to the hospital after mentally visiting different parts of the world, and not knowing between real and unreal. That is incredible, I too didn't believe you could have full hallucinations, I've never experienced that. I've solo tripped on 8 hits before, but I always had some grasp on reality. I couldn't imagine losing all of it!

I hate to say that sounds like an amazing experience minus a few parts, and such detail. I don't think it's what you're looking for, but I think a lot of this could have been avoided if you did a couple of things. One, mentally preparing for a trip seems to be very important, You can't decide to impulsively drop like you did. I made that mistake once, I didn't know where I was, I had those same thoughts as you "What drugged out loser have I become?" And stuff like that

Two, make sure you don't run into someone who would judge you like your parents, you are soo lucky your mom was comforting.

Three, You had the right idea to not fight the trip when you thought that, and it's a shame you later started to, it's this fight that causes these bad thoughts.

I don't mean to put you down or anything, that's just my opinion. Very good story, I'm sure that was an important experience in your life weather you regret it or not. But I think it's cool how much you got to experience, how many people can say they've been through that? Hope you're doing fine man

 

Hmm I get some odd visuals like that whether or not I smoke weed at times its not as intense as if I were tripping but certainly noticable. Usually I find if I try and fight it then it makes me kind of anxious because I start focusing on 'it shouldn't be like that.' But if I just kind of go with the flow of it I typically enjoy it...though sometimes it comes on at weird times.

But yeah if it bothers you and only happens when you smoke cannabis, maybe you shouldn't smoke it at least not for a while. Or if you're smoking mostly sativa stains maybe give indica a try as that is typically more relaxing with less of a head high.

Anyways just some thoughts I had on it.....take it or leave it.

As for the over all trip, it seems even though it was bad you learned from it. I had a bad trip before, it didn't land me in the hospital but I was just on mushrooms not sure quite how much with no acid so it probably wasn't as intense as yours. I also learned a lot from it, so in a way though it was a bad trip I learned some important things.

 

Update on the weed thing. I can smoke weed without having visuals now, but the anxiety is still there. If I smoke with a group of people I basically go mute and feel very awkward and out of place, my heart races like 160 bpm+ when resting. It's only enjoyable to do it alone, and even then, I think I prefer to be sober to be honest.

 

Well I think the trip had a positive (dare I say, "enlightening") effect on you..... you obviously had a problem with responsible drug use, and now you have an aversion to drugs.

Psychedelic success:sunny:

 

Your trip obviously isn't over.

On a more realistic note, dude... You had a life altering experience. Any way you look at it, either your prospective on reality from the visuals and ideals, or the fact that you fucked up in front of your parents in a serious way; to the fact that for a while your brain is literally chemically unbalanced. Things are gonna be different until they get back to normal.

I went through some of the same stuff. To a T. It certainly gets better. I can't say for certain what it is I had to get over, weither it was the bad trip, the embarrassment, or waiting for my parents to forgive and forget. All you need to do is get things back on track, exercise meditation and just plain forcing myself out of the rut did it for me. It got the the point where I literally had to force myself to be social to avoid being a complete recluse. I kinda miss the loss of words sometimes when I smoke now, after smoking on LSD now when I smoke my thoughts go into that hyper mode you know, and after getting over the anxiety I cant turn my mouth off although people dont seem to mind as long as they have someone to laugh with or something to laugh at.

I thought LSD ruined me man, i dont know if you feel like that sometimes, but if you ever do, your wrong. Once you tip that scale back over your gonna be a better person for it. and thats the key. Either your gonna tell yourself hey im done with drugs, or be far more strict. Everyone makes mistakes, you didnt hurt anyone, you didnt steal anything, the emotional damage to your family can be repaired, respect can be re-earned.

I hope I'm not assuming to much, I just wish someone would of told me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You don't get that sense of back to reality after every trip.
But if you exercise, meditate, and force yourself out of it you'll be better then ever. The exercise to help re balance the chemicals you threw a blender in, the meditation to reorganize your thought process and grasp 'reality' and force yourself out of the awkward moments, because I know when I felt that way, like your describing, people didnt think I was awkward, they thought I didnt like them and didnt care to try and convers with them. 100% of the time I was in my self induced comma i was wrong about the world revolving around me. It really is true that you make your surroundings what they are man.

Also the last thing I can think of to maybe help you, and it gonna make a huge difference I bet. Never and I mean ever when ever possible leave yourself alone. Your mind will do all kinds of weird ass things to cope with the anxiety and bad expereince. The less you let yourself go to that awkwardness the better. The best remedy, the best medicine I think has ever existent on this planet in music. A single song that relates to the way I feel can change my entire outcome of the day. Hope this helps