Ban the Last Poster (Mongoose Pineapple Bush Series)

Banned for making love to a statue of the Virgin Mary in a cemetary

 

Banned for driving 35 even on the freeway....

 

banned for mowing the yard neekid.....;-)

 

banned for wearin' nothin when he walks in the woods...watch out for poison ivy...

 

Banned for being a professional Blimp pilot

 

banned for floating down the river in big shit costume during the innaugural ribbon cutting ceremony for the new bridge opening

 

banned for putting bananas in the fridge thus causing their skin to blacken prematurely

 

banned for hypnotizing the psychotics

 

banned for paging himself over the intercom at wal-marts ever time he goes there....

 

banned for repeatedly hangin up on me when I call.....

 

banned for calling whenever I'm under something....

 

banned for not waitin up for me....

 

banned for not gettin' it up for me...

 

your fault for not fondlin enough....

 

banned for slapping my hand away when I get near it....

 

banned for fallin asleep too soon....

 

banned for being afraid I might bite him....

 

banned for hiding my false teeth....

 

banned for sticking his bubblegum under the table after he's done with it....

 

banned for catchin me with the gum everytime I do that....