Best Insult You've Heard...

You completely bore me. You're banal. You're not funny. The only way you'd have a funny bone in your body is if you had my dick in your ass.

Do you have a plate in your head playing disco or are you just dumb as fuck?

 

Get out of my sight before I cut off your head,scoop out it's contents and present it to your mother as a vase.

 

Your husband is like a fireplace in the summertime. Hot as the devil but adsolutely no wood.

 

I heard this in a movie a lil while ago
i cant remember the whole thing, and seem to be incapable of improvising

you are the steaming pile of shit that results when <insert insulting term> consumes too much stupidity

 

In front of all my workers today my cell rang, I said ok, ummm huh and hung up, turned to my worker and buddy keith(aka cornfed) and told him movie gallery best stop calling me cause his fucking copy of broke back mountain is two weeks over due and they want it back!

 

Bitch you got more chins than a chinese phone book!

 

Interupt one of your friendsduring a group talk or such and tell them to stfu while grown ups are talkin.

 

Your ancestors owned a cotton plantation yet you can't afford clean draws. (I hope I spelled that right)

 

Question: What is the difference between Yoga middle management?
Answer: Flexiability: One puts your legs tightly together and one spreads them far apart. One arches your butt to your head and the other, just your nose to his butt.