Bf wants anal but I don't

Your verification processing is pretty awful I have to admit. You make about as much sense there than you do between the rest of your ears.

 

It's true that women get blowjobs wrong. You know why? Because women don't have penises, so they don't naturally know where it feels good and what are the right things to do. Same for men and vaginas. You need to watch videos and/or have a partner to guide you (ooh aah and moaning, but instructions are fine too). So it is also true that if a woman wants to learn how to suck a dick, she should get experience in one way or another. Is what I'm saying so weird to you?

Also, why do you call me a porn addict? You think it's unnatural to masturbate at the age of 24? I embarrass the male species? Wow. There's so many fucked up people out there yet I am the embarrassment. I guess you missed the part of my post that said I love others and I want to give my love.

tommeem1:
I will always read before replying. I will keep reading your posts because I think they are interesting . Okay so it's a serious issue for you. It would not be for me. Then again, I would not make a big deal out of anal sex. I agree that if you don't want anal sex then you should tell your partner. If he/she is being pushy about it, then there's something going wrong, and it's not just anal sex. That's what I meant when I said that anal sex is a silly thing. Being pushy is inheritedly wrong, and people who are pushy about anal sex will probably be pushy about a lot of things in a relationship -- so dump them.

 

No, nothing you're saying is weird to me, it's just retarded, that's all. You embarrass the genuine males out there with your attitude. Well you embarrass me, I don't want to be held in any regard to anything like yourself.

And where do you come up with your shit? There wasn't any porn 6000 years ago yet we've been able to procreate without worry and with no help from sex education videos. Did the first woman who wrapped her mouth around a cock need an instructional video?

You must be a virgin to think that sexual activity should be a learned trade. That's just fuckin' funny. What a "wrong" blowjob is to you would probably be an awesome blowjob to somebody else.

 

You're so nice!

The Kama Sutra (ancient indian hindu text on sex) was written around 400 BC. So maybe they didn't have videos but it was certainly a subject of interest, even back then.

Okay that is true. Sex is a sport; you don't need to be good to enjoy it. There are some standards though. Endurance, knowledge of the body, strength, passion, size/girth, experience all play a role. We are all different so we like different stuff, you're right. That's even more of a reason why you should understand me for watching porn, and OPs boyfriend for wanting anal. But you're contradicting yourself!

 

Yes because the Karma Sutra was a book of utmost importance in every household from the early days of civilisation. I'm sure it sat alongside the Bible and it's counterparts on the book shelf so that ol' Mable could fill her fantasies of sucking cocks correctly and to your standards as she baked bread and small goods for the market on the weekend... (Sarcasm)

Bottom line is and about 4 or more people have also concluded that porn is not a realistic portrayal of real life sex. I don't know how I'm contradicting myself with this. I've adamantly stated it from the get go.

 

LOL XD that was awesome.

 

i must be nobody; you didn't reply to me at all.

at least yggdrasil threw in a quick 2 word dismissal of my assertion that adults males are capable of distinguishing fantasy from reality.

 

I personally think everyone's opinion on this subject matter is right, despite the fact that I obviously have my preferences. Such as I think the OP's boyfriend isn't being annoying. I think he is excited about sex because like I said above, I assume he is young and like the OP said he only has had one sexual partner, which is who he is currently with. But, some people think he being annoying and that is just as right as my opinion.

All that matters, is what the OP decides is right and wrong for them. And when they do get to that conclusion after reading all these interesting posts, lol... I hope it's something they're happy with.

 

My thoughts as well, it's her ass and if she don't want something in it she has all rights to say no, she also has rights to say yes or decide later to say yes. Point is we shouldn't try to convince her to let him even once if she doesn't like the idea. Like the porn bit, he wants it, once she allows once he might become an ass about getting it. I say she offers him a poke and he decides if he likes it. Someone above said that's not right, sure it is. She would not be saying no then but she won't have to take it in her ass if she doesn't care to, he can all he wants, if she doesn't mind doing that deed.
Is it anal he wants or is it about sticking it to her he wants as he saw on his porn movie? Seriously if my guy saw something and brought it up I would consider but once I say no it better not cause hold backs or I am done and then so is he. This chick don't play that game.

 

It's her body, she can choose when/what/if/how things enter her. I'm glad you were honest with him, and it's too bad he's more obsessed than ever. If he can't get over the fact that it's not happening and he makes you feel badly about this - this could be shocking news...you probably should think he may not be long term material.

 

Case you all didnt notice, she doenst mind anal when guys are more forceful. The whole debate is not about the guy being forceful at all so there's no question of "it's her ass she can do what she wants". She totally already knows that obviously, but wants to play a game about pretending 'not' to have some kinda choice. (Yeah the human mind is complex.) She's far more experienced that her guy, so it's totally 100% not a question of "should I let my boyfriend rape me". I dont know why women's sexuality has to be reduced to "im the passive target of the man but I dont want him like that, help help!" conversations.

She's more concerned about whether it's unfair to him or not, not wether she should "let him rape her".

Christ, give women a chance to maintain our own active sexualities that are gregarious and aggressive instead of some 'feminine model' that needs external protection and management.

 

She did say in her title he wants it and she don't. That means she doesn't want it and for what ever reasons she has the right to say no.

Chances are she said no to some others for certain reasons as well and so good for her then if so. It has to be right to feel right.
I may have done things with one guy in my life but not with the other and that's all part of being who we were, not who I was with another man before.

If she let him do it when she really didn't want it then it would feel like rape, would it not? More so, her failing to hold her end up on the whole thing. When a woman says no we mean it. I am sure guys do too.

 

im not ready to call something someone lets someone else do to them, but that they dont like, rape. I havent been raped, thank god, Ill have to leave that to the poor women who have:

"Is letting your boyfriend do something to you sexually you kinda dont really like, or perhaps really dont like, like being raped?" I think you're going to be flamed off the thread if you asked that.

we should be really really careful. not everything is rape. if it were people wouldnt ever take it seriously and thats the last thing we need right now.

 

The first one using rape here was you so I went along with it and said Yes, it could be rape in her mind if she felt it was but, ya if you don't want something to happen in your sex life but you are forced or guilted into it then what would it be since now We aren't using the word you brought in, rape? You might have missed my (((more so))) bit where I said her failure to hold her own.
I did not bring that in, if I was posting your comment,,, look back at any of mine,,, you'd see I tell people that being forced into sex acts we, men and women don't like kills a relationship quick like. You should never say no not meaning it. If you don't want it for what ever reason that is you need to know you don't and mean it when you say it or your partner will never believe you and your body becomes his/her freeforall.
Anal is one of those things not everyone cares to do where the basics is like a given. Once I have to say no, (never been approached about it) I Will mean no. There ain't no Trying it. Ain't happening. To me it's a shit hole and that's it, ain't nothing going in. Now that's not saying I am against it, if He wants it in his I will try it for him, I see poop once and that's over. I have to say, poop and pee will turn me right off sex. That's me tho.

 

its not being a bitch at all.. but should give him a go though if you have previously liked it with other guys. I'm sure he cant be that bad? :/

 

Every girl (everyone, really) has a right to draw a line in the sand and say what she is and is not willing to do in bed. In the case, the OP's boyfriend could accept it or walk away from the relationship all together. He has a choice, too.

My personal opinion is that I think the OP should never have mentioned she did anal with other guys in the first place. What did she think her boyfriend's response would be?? I think it is kind of crappy to tell her boyfriend that she did anal with other guys (plural) but she has no interest in doing anal with him. That's a slap in the face...in my opinion.

If I really liked this guy I would probably say something along the lines of..."I didn't like anal the first two times I tried it, but it may be different with you. Let's try it." Then I would try it, and if I still didn't like it I would say "OK, I tried it, I still don't like it". Then the boyfriend could decide if that was a deal breaker for him. If he leaves the relationship, then he's a douche and he did me a favor.

 

She shouldn't have said she did it before but still, she claimed she has at least one reason she doesn't want to do it with him and she gets to say no. I don't agree she should try it once if she doesn't want to. She should make a decision to try it or not and stick to that, if not she is doing whats right for her.
Sounds to me like he is a young buck looking for holes to stick it in and she doesn't have to be his experimental thing if she don't want to be.
Chances are she doesn't want that can of worms open on herself should he like it and then crave it.
If my boyfriend asked me for just once I would say no because if he liked it he would want it and it's something I am not willing to do. If he bugged me about it I would tell him to find someone else who will because him wanting it and not letting go of the idea would ruin sex for us both. Some people can't let go of an idea and it really does ruin everything else if they can't get past it.
You know if he likes it and she's not into it he is gonna keep trying for it anyway. We shouldn't be trying to convince her to let him do it, she knows she don't want it. When did we women come to the idea that no doesn't really mean no anymore? She said her bit and she told us why.
And to Dorigirl, I think she said she told him, with her X but didn't mention the other guys. It's still no reason she should with this guy. She may not have that level of trust with him that anal probably requires.

 

I agree it's her body. But it's also her relationship. I guess a lot has to do with how much she likes this guy. And from the way she said things I get the feeling she doesn't like him that much.

I totally get the wanting a guy to be forceful and aggressive and experienced when it comes to things like sex. That's how I like my guys too.

But at the same time, sex isn't something you're just instantly good at. I was horrible at blow jobs the first time I gave one. I still just about die laughing every time I remember my first kiss. I was so tense it must have felt like kissing a manikin.

More importantly when I care about someone I generally WANT to fulfill their desires. I'll be frank anal sex has NEVER felt good to me. It's not horribly painful but it's never been comfortable. I'm not one of those girls (mythical possibly) that can have anal sex and orgasm and like it more than vaginal. But when that's what my guy desires I like to give it to him. I like knowing I'm fulfilling something for him that he wants. God knows he fulfills my own desires often enough.

And that's what a real relationship is. I think the real question, is why are you with this guy if you don't like having sex with him and don't seem to have a real desire to please him. What are you getting out of the relationship? It doesn't seem like you're getting enough. And it seems like he might not be either.

 

You are wrong. A real relationship is not about one being uncomfortable to please the other. If he knew you didn't really care for it he wouldn't want it so bad. A real relationship is about finding someone compatible with You, liking what you both like. So if he wanted to pee on you, you'd let him do it for the relationship? This is crazy. This means you open all doors just to keep him. And bondage, do you like that? If not and he wanted to beat you bloody you would allow it? Just to keep him or keep him happy? Who told you that you needed to do this? Naaaah Ahh, no way. I was brought up to respect myself first and not let others walk on me and my belief in a relationship is we care for each other's needs but not to give up for each other and be in pain or do what I hate.
Your thinking is not what people should believe, especially now that anal and bondage is kind of being put in front of the basics by sex media, it should be explored if both agree, I get that but the asshole is a whole different part of sex that does Not Have to happen to keep a relationship. I have to believe a lot of men would love to be all over your bones just because you will do what it takes to hold on. Will you support them too? Why not? No man is worth me fighting to hold on to him, he loves me for what I am and will do or he's gone. Once sex becomes a question of "why not give me what I want" then it's over, I don't even expect anything, I let us play together and what we find We like is what makes us a couple. BUT, I already know before he gets in my bed that he don't like anal because I am not fighting that or giving into it. Shopping around is key, finding who you like and knowing you like all that he is. Next time if you don't care for anal, find someone who wouldn't think it. You shouldn't have to do it to hold on. It's not right. No momma should set their girls up this way, no man should be brought up this way either.