Bi men and aging

Also:

Think of a cock as the ULTIMATE "power tool" (batteries not required!)

 

Well, there was a time where any cock would do but not anymore. Stranger danger and an enhanced fear of STDs has put the kibosh on partaking of "any cock;" factor in someone's preferences and the odds of getting some dick go down even further and reduce even further when the primary preference is for an FWB and based upon qualifications that may or may not be realistic or obtainable because - and I hate to say it (but I will) - guys have gotten lazy about getting the cock they want and as if they don't have to work for it.

And like I had to. You can want what you want but if you're not prepared and willing to take what you can get, well, no wonder there are so many men of all ages complaining about not being able to find a man (and very much sounding like women in this particular thing). Where are all the good men? Out there trying to find a cock to suck or to have in their ass; they're looking for a guy who loves to suck cock and who also loves having a nice hard one in their backside. They're all not off the market as such but if you want to know where they are, get off your ass and go looking for them or let them find you.

My protege asked, "What are your preferences?" and my answer was, "I prefer to have sex." He didn't understand the answer and I didn't expect him to... but I was going to educate him. I told him that I only have three requirements a guy has to meet: Be of legal age to have sex; be healthy enough to have sex; don't be my idea of an asshole. You pass these and we're having sex; you fail any of one them and, well, that's fucked up - it could have been fun. I asked him about his preferences, and it took him a half an hour to list them all. Yet, he was wondering why he wasn't getting any action (and at the time of this particular conversation).

"You're looking for a man who may or may not even exist, let alone capable - or willing - to meet your standards," I said to him. "You want what you want but... you'll learn." As I've said, in my youth, it was definitely any cock... and there were so many willing cocks. There are still willing cocks but you gotta do a lot of work to convince a guy that the only thing you're going to do to his cock is make it hard... then make it soft again. My protege asked how I managed to get so much dick - and he just forgot that I got started young - and I said, "Because I made it easy to get it and for guys to give it to me..." and, being a bi guy in this modern era, he didn't quite understand it - while often complaining about not being able to find a guy he could be attracted to - and like they were going to make babies.

Not any cock will do anymore but there remains plenty of willing and available cock if you're willing to do the work to get it and to get yours out there, too. Being older should mean making it easy on yourself, not harder...

 

KDaddy23:

I agree 100%; these days, "any cock'll do" can only be taken at face value.

STD's, indeed, are like a dark, ominous cloud hovering over men getting the cock they want.....crave.....and NEED.....WITHOUT the need of playing a sexual version of Russian Roulette.

"Stranger danger" is something that even I know is nothing at all to be taken lightly.

Here again, going with your "gut feeling", as well as simply using common sense, I feel is a good "compass" for setting you off on the correct "course".

Too, think about your about to get it on with a new "hook-up"; is he being HONEST with you about being "healthy"?

Is he being 100% open and honest with you about yourself?

Again, your testesterone might be urging you to "go for it", but, if your "gut feeling" is telling you otherwise........

 

True enough, if your gut says no, then you don't do anything - that's some common sense I learned early on in these things (but zero STDs) - but there is no such thing as a sure thing; there is such a thing as not getting it right with a guy and more so if he's a really smooth talker; guys still will say and do anything to get you naked and have their way with you. As far as STDs go, instead of using the internet to watch porn, use it to learn what the STDs are, what the symptoms are and learn how to recognize them in others and yourself. Common sense mandates using condoms so if you're afraid of STDs, doesn't it make sense to wrap dicks up before putting them to use? I think so but, apparently, some men tend to disagree.

And why wouldn't I be honest about myself? Dudes lie; they can be infected and not even know it; maybe they know they're not feeling right but not of a mind to go get checked out (something I had to jump in my protege's ass one time too many) but if it's one of those situations where you have to have the dick ( and those situations really do exist) and you have doubts - wrap the fucker up and don't take no for an answer and tell him no if he wants to go bare. Otherwise, when in doubt, do nothing. This isn't rocket science! STDs are preventable with condoms and doing some due diligence. And I'll say it again: Just because you have an FWB doesn't mean you're always going to be safe; there is no way for you to always know where his dick has been or who - or what - has been in his hole. Yeah, ask my protege about that one; he got infected five times by his FWB, a guy he studiously trusted when there were too many signs not to trust the guy. And, yeah, I got to say, "I told you..."

This is stuff you learn via experience and with age and you learn it if you're serious about sleeping with a guy.

 

KDaddy23:

You indeed brought up a VERY VALID point; just because a guy has a FWB whom he trusts does NOT guarantee he is 100% safe.

Then, too, there is the real possibility of being with a partner who COULD very well be INFECTED and NOT even know it himself.

Here again, a mature attitude (another words, using your BRAIN instead of your DICK) is key to keeping safe, sex-wise.

And, just because you THINK your FWB is being TOTALLY honest with you, does NOT mean that he really is leveling with you all the way.

Again, you brought up some very valid and important issues that (IMHO) you should not take lightly, if you wish to "play safe"...............

 

If you're an older guy trying to get some dick, this is stuff you need to know... and stuff you need to do. I have never gotten an STD and sure as fuck have never tested positive for HIV and I'm not in the habit of turning down pussy or dick... but I know when to. Because, again, tomorrow isn't promised to anyone and I had vowed to not be on my death bed and having regrets over not having sex with a guy when I had a gazillion chances to...

 

KDaddy23:

Well, obviously you are doing SOMETHING right; I thinks it's a combination of knowing things on "gut level", intuition, and simple common sense, not to mention many, many years of "hands on" (pun intended!) experience

And, also, you were right on the mark when you said that "tomorrow is not promised to anyone."

Sad that too many people don't take this to heart.

I still cringe when I think back many years to when Rock Hudson died of AIDS, and, for years afterwards, it was dubbed a "fag disease" by an ignorant straight society, and was God's way of punishing gays for their immoral behavior.

And, man, did the religious leaders back then have a field day with this!

Sad as hell.

Too, "straight" guys frequenting female prostitutes thought they were safe from any serious health issues, as they were not engaging in sex with other males (right, like catching VD from a buck-and-a-half bimbo is a badge of honor)

That was like back during WW2 and Korea they would show "health" films to GIs, about how to avoid VD.

Guess the armed forces thought that "playing the field" was OK.....as long as it involved a MAN and a WOMAN.

Horror of horrors if a soldier was caught having sex with another MAN!

COURT MARTIAL, at the VERY least!

Strange how heterosexual promiscuousy was not only tolerated, but also thought as "normal".

Again, it again all boils down to ignore the ignorant, do whatever (or whomever) you want, and just keep a level head and use simple common sense..................

 

AIDS was not only a deadly disease, but it also cast a lethal stigma on all gay men for many, many; this of course, had to effect bi men, whether "out" or closeted.

Same thing with HIV; I still recall when, like AIDS, HIV was something that far too many bigots was "retribution" from the Almighty, for gay (and bi) men continuing their immoral, sinful lifestyle.

Again, no "social stigma" about straight men (married or orherwise) frequenting female prostitutes.

The general feeling was basically: "As long as it's not gay, its OK".

Ignorance can really be a trip..........

 

HIV turned things upside down and especially for gay men since, as it was being reported, the virus was being spread by IV drug using gay men, leading up to a lot of jokes about what gay man in Haiti was so horny enough to fuck the monkeys the experts were saying were responsible for the outbreak of the virus in humans but really leaving virologist scratching their head about how the virus managed to jump species in the first place. If you contracted the HIV virus, it was a given that it would turn into AIDS and... it was a death sentence. Bi guys got on the disease vector for this but in my neck of the woods, HIV/AIDS didn't stop bi guys from getting the dick they wanted - they just weren't having sex with gay men and more so when a couple of the guys I knew did, they contracted HIV, it turned into AIDS, and they died from some unheard of before cancers and other ailments.

Society was 100% on board with HIV/AIDS being a sexually transmitted disease and one obtained by men having unsafe sex... until a very monogamous couple came down with inexplicably came down with HIV... due to a tainted blood transfusion.

I remember that in the early days of the outbreak in America, a lot of people thought it was a hoax and not unlike the swine flu scare that took place; at the same time, there was a huge crackdown on underaged sex and pregnancies and it just seemed like this HIV thing was just another way for our prudish society to stop people from having sex until it was definitely proven not to be a hoax... and then Magic got HIV but was "mysteriously" cured of it but it was later discovered that while he did contract HIV, it never developed into AIDS and, well, homey was rich and could get access to the newly created drugs designed to combat the HIV virus and, hopefully, prevent it from becoming AIDS.

It didn't change much where I lived except avoiding gay men and all IV drug users and that included women who used needles to get high as well which, coincidentally, was "easy" enough since women were now being seriously stingy about giving up the pussy, which had more guys making the move to having sex with men and, I'll say in the majority where I lived, safely - no HIV being spread around and maybe hearing about a couple of guys getting the clap from somewhere but since the word was out on the street about them, it was easy to avoid contact with them.

Ignorance had no role in this but fear most certainly did and we can see today how there are bi guys who are getting older, wanting to have sex with men, but seriously worried about something that used to be a death sentence but isn't anymore. Sure, it's still serious but... condoms. These and not having sex with men are the only true ways to be safe in this; being smart; being knowledgeable about the real and credible facts given by vetted sources. You would think that older guys and common sense would be on the best speaking terms since we are, supposedly, old enough to know these things...

 

KDaddy23:

One of the aspects of "fallout" from the AIDS crises when it was running rampant were the slew of crude, tasteless, and disgusting jokes made about gay men and AIDS.

I actually turned in a guy from work (no friend of mine, thank God) whom I overhead telling a joke that was both heartless and sick.

Q: What is Sickle Cell Anemia?

A: Aids for spades.

Sad?

Sick?

Hell, yes.

Had I not had to worry about losing my job, I would have punched the SOB right in the face, right there on the job, and I am as far removed from a "fighter" as you can get.

He DID receive a STERN verbal warning for this offense, and, I have the feeling this sent the ignorant lowlife a message he was not soon to forget.

I have no tolerance for anyone that thinks that "jokes" that serve only to demean minorities, ethnic groups, etc., are laugh-worthy; I heard enough such off-color "humor" during my nearly 25 years in working in a major financial venue in New York, and to say I was both sickened and saddened is an understatement.

Some people are totally brainless.....heartless.......or both..............

 

That was sad, sick, tasteless, and just plain old lame... and some people are just assholes or cunts who just aren't as funny as they think they are. There was nothing funny about HIV/AIDS in the early days of its existence here - nothing.

 

KDaddy23:

In agreement with you all the way, my friend.

In my nearly 25 years in the same work enviorment, I heard more than my share of sick, crude, and tasteless "jokes".

The guys I worked with knew full well that I would not tolerate listening to such verbal sewage.

I recall when Rock Hudson's passing due to AIDS was just hitting the front pages; already the "diseased mind" element was at work, cranking out a slew of tasteless, humorless, and just plame SICK verbal "adult entertainment".

Truly sad when jokes evolve that are so callous, crude, and sick.

What's even sicker is when others degenerates find them funny................

 

One thing is for certain...........

A gay/bi man NEEDS to have a VERY thick skin in today's often-misguided society.

That thick skin, I feel, is of even greater importance as he ages.

If it is often difficult for an senior gay male to "hook up" with another male, it must be more difficult for a bisexual man, especially when many younger guys feel (wrongly) that senior guys are "too old" for sex.

And, if an older bisexual guy "comes out", and his straight friends "diss him", well, it is THIER loss, NOT his.........clearly, they were NOT true friends to begin with...........

 

Do you really need to grow a thick skin when young dudes wrong assume that you're too old to have sex with... when you know that you aren't? It's not your fault that they believe some hype about older men, like we all wind up with ED and prostate issues and those things takes us out of the sex game when, in fact, that's not always the case. Sure, you need some thick skin to protect against being constantly mislabeled as gay when you're bi or being tagged as a gold-digging slut when you're a gay man and looking for a sugar daddy to take care of you. People can be so insensitive and uncaring about your feelings and too many don't mind letting that shit out of their mouths and because they have the right to do it.
If any bisexual of any age who comes out and his straight friends diss him - or his gay ones, if he had them - were they really his friends? We declare that friends should understand and accept us as we are, but I also believe that if we think like this, we discount that friend's sensibilities that might not allow him to understand and accept that you just told them that you're bisexual and now you've set yourself up to be dissed because, in their minds, bisexual equals homosexual.

You need to have thick skin when you get dissed by gay men who refuse to see that despite continuing to have a thing for women, you do have the common point of liking men and having sex with them but that's a point they can't see while they're turning their back on you... because you're not gay like they are. On the other hand, if you're not paying attention to the dumb shit, do you really need thick skin and especially if you've heard pretty much all of the dumb shit that can be said - and you've lost enough friends who, sadly, couldn't accept that you weren't straight or gay like they were?

Ideally, your friends shouldn't give a flying fuck what your sexuality is since you're much more than how you like or want to have sex. I know that once I stopped giving a fuck about what other people had to say about my bisexuality, I didn't need to keep the thick skin I'd grown and I didn't have to be an old guy to have made that decision. Besides, one of the "attractive" things about us old dudes is our laid back attitudes about things M2M... because we don't give a single fuck about what someone else has to say; you don't like that I'm a cocksucker? Not my problem - take your silly ass somewhere else because this ain't about you...

 

KDaddy23:

Another excellent post; much food for thought, for certain.

Easiest rule to folow:

BE YOURSELF!

If someone else has an issue with you and/or your sexuality, the hell with them......what do THEY know about the "real deal"?

Answer to NO ONE but yourself; hell, it's YOUR life, and NO ONE is your boss.....but YOURSELF.

And, so far as "friends" who ditched you when you "opened up" about your sexuality, again, it is .
THEIR loss, NOT yours.

They were obviously only "fair weather friends" to begin, who only showed their true colors when you came out about your sexuality to them.

Sort of funny, though, how so many "highly educated" straight men cannot even grasp at the concept of bisexuality; it's "too deep" for them, or they are just not mature enough to even begin to try to understand.......

 

I would say that, "clearly," bisexuality only really makes sense to bisexuals since they're all up in the middle of it and in varying ways. Like, you can intellectualize sucking a guy's cock until he cums in your mouth - and it's easy for those highly educated people to conceded that, yeah, guys do that... but that's not the same as actually experiencing what that's like because if you do, then you get it... unless you're really dense and obtuse or that far detached from reality and as some really educated people can be.

For many, bisexuality is... theory. It's never about a lack of maturity; it is about something that is terribly complex because it doesn't fit what we know about being straight or gay and when I say this shit is deep, I'm not joking or playing around or making light of it because I've been a student of bisexuality all of my life and I still don't understand it totally and completely since it goes way beyond having sex, which is the easy thing to understand about bisexuality. You don't need double doctorate degrees to understand cocksucking or the way a man's prostate connects with being pounded in the ass until said ass gets filled with goo... because it is what it's always been.

It's just when you get those so-called highly educated people trying to comment on something that they don't really understand is when things get sketchy and they start making shit up to fit their very limited view of things or they start rehashing social and religious dogma about homosexuality and... pardon me, but what part of "I'm bisexual" didn't you understand? I can say that this isn't rocket science because I understand it and it's not theory since I've been there, done that, own the block that the T-shirt factory sits on... and the factory. Then apply the wisdom gained from getting older and having new experiences and, yes, contact with other bisexual men on forums and the like so that I can continue to understand this thing about me and a thing that a whole lot of very smart people can't quite seem to be able to wrap their head around.

Really... it's not that hard. Forget what you think it is and pay attention to what it really is and what it can be. You believe in some shit that bisexuals know isn't true and if you don't understand us, that's your fault as well as it it's our society's fault. I'm just of a mind that when you get older as a bisexual, all of this eventually becomes very clear to you.

 

KDaddy23:

You hit the nail right on the head: "What part of being bisexual don't you understand?"

You are so very right: It ain't rocket science, folks!

That's like a bi guy saying to a "straight" bud: "I like to have sex with both WOMEN and MEN......period. Can't you grasp that? What's so difficult to understand?"

Back in the 90's, across from where I worked in New York, there was an adult pocket magazine that came out every two months, stocked by the newsstand/smoke shop across the street; It was called "OPTIONS (the 'bi' monthly)"; I now often wonder how many guys I worked with were readers?

Sex, simply speaking, is SEX, period, regardless who (of legal age) is involved.....it cannot be simpler than that..............

Too bad too many still adhere to redundant labels and misconceptions...........

 

All the dumb shit aside, the thing to always keep in mind when you're bisexual and aging is that it's not over until it's finally over. I like to tell the story of the 60-year-old man I met online and when I was in my mid-40s who said that his wife had died, he had his prostate removed because of prostate cancer, and had ED about as bad as a man can get. He told me that he wasn't giving up on having sex because his mouth and his asshole still worked and he invited guys to come fill his mouth and asshole with their hardness and spunk. He had said that after all that stuff, this was all he had left and he was determined to keep using it until he drew his last breath.

It had me wonder how I would be if/when I got to be his age. I never got to go have sex with him, but I loved his outlook on his sexuality, and you could feel his joy where having sex was concerned and I thought that I'd want to be just like him when I get old and gray. Well, I'm not in that bad physical shape like he was but, yeah, if I couldn't get hard and couldn't cum, there's nothing wrong with my mouth and ass and I'd go from being versatile to a bottom in the blink of an eye... because I might be old but I'm not dead yet. If you're not about getting your dick fix, what are you waiting for? Tick tock - the clock is running!

 

KDaddy:

I've long said it indeed pays to have a "back up" system, so to speak.

Instead of lamenting over what you DON'T have, focus, instead, on what you DO have (and be grateful for it) and take it from there.

Even I know that a positive attitude can indeed go a long, long way towards getting what you want, even if you must be satisfied with less.

The only saying goes: "better to light a single candle than to sit and curse the darkness."

That simple line indeed speaks many volumes!

If you are lucky enough to be ALIVE, and also, in reasonably good health, then you are far more fortunate than many.....................

 

You really have to wonder about those clueless (and ignorant) guys who really "get off" on off-color jokes, regarding gays and bisexual men.

Personally, I see no humor whatsoever in a joke whose asinine punch line refers to a bisexual man as "a queer whose closet has a revolving door"; and, even though I'm not bi, hearing some stupid asshole refer to a bi man as a "half fag" pisses me off no end.

Stupidity-like ignorance-knows no boundries..................