Bi men and aging

GregS:

An excellent, spot-on, honest response; thanks for sharing here.

I'm pushing 68 these days (yikes!) and when i think back to my childhood, especially back in the early and mid-1960s, I truly feel that I've been transported to an alien planet, 100 light-years away.

So very little is still familiar to what I once knew.

Society, politics, the world in general.......all have become increasingly volatile, violent, insane, and highly unpredictable.

I grew up in urban New Jersey, in what then would be classified as a "middle class" family; for me, it was a magical time, full of happiness, laughter, and good times.......what a great way for ANY child to grow up!

Being a totally celibate, masculine gay man in a largely straight world, I simply take one day at a time, and keep myself busy with my numerous hobbies.

The few friends I do have live a great distance away; we do talk over the phone and keep in touch.

My best friend (like a brother to me) was straight and could not have cared less about my orientation; we had some really great times together, and I still miss him greatly (he passed in 2013)

I have no desire to seek out another like-minded male; I've been backstabbed too many times in the past by platonic buddies, and have no desire to go through it again.

Also, being bashed in 1985 by a guy I THOUGHT was my friend (simply because I admitted I was gay) further soured me on trying to find a life partner.

No relationship is worth risking your life over.

As we age, we often pause to stop, think back, and reflect on our past.....and what has made us who we are today.

If I am fortunate enough to live another 20 years, I hope to do so with reasonably good health.

One day at a time, my friends.....take life one day at a time....be proud of who you are, and live your life with dignity, pride, and always remain "young at heart"..................

 

I could not agree more, GregS.

 

If a man can age with DIGNITY (and relatively good health) that's half the battle won right there!

 

In my mind, the greatest loss in people is the disappearance of willingness to work together when it was required. Our government, while never perfect, at least tried to accomplish things. I think that now either party would rather set a match to it all before they'd work out functional compromises.

Chivalry and old-school manners are another loss. If I'm, say, at a restaurant and a woman at my table excuses herself to the loo, I stand. When she returns again, I stand again.

And when phones were tied to the wall, people were free.

I think we're at a Bad Point™ on the Tytler cycle.

 

Well said, my friend!

When I was still working, I always removed my hat while in an elevator, if a woman was present.

Ditto giving up my seat to a woman while aboard a bus or a train.

With me, "chivalry" will NEVER perish.......a gentleman forever! (hey, that's how I was raised!)

 

"Age with dignity", indeed, is a good credo to follow.

Now, if you also are fortunate enough to be in halfway decent health as well as you age, you're doing pretty dang well, at least in my opinion!

Appreciate what you have!

 

I guess what it all boils down to is this:

"......if ya gotta get OLD, at least have FUN while doing it......"

 

Well, ah, if you're not going to try to have fun, you're really missing the point...

 

KD23:

Well, you already know where I am coming from, and what I've went through in the past.

I cannot risk trying to "hook up" with a like-minded guy (either as a FWB or a life partner), as there are simply too many nutjobs and stalkers out there, who might possibly do me serious harm.

If remaing TOTALLY safe means remaining celibate and solitary, then I think that is a very small price to pay.

Sure, I know I am missing out on a lot of hot m/m action, BUYT, at the VERY least, I am secure in the knowledge that I will NEVER be hurt again, either physically or emotionally.

Being a 67 year old virgin, with not the slightest experience with another male, it would be like tossing a dime store goldfish into a shark tank.

I'm smart enough (and honest enough) to know it would be near suicide for me to try to "get together" with another male.

Hey, as long as I can still "beat the bishop", and enjoy my numerous hobbies, I ain't gonna complain!

You can't have EVERYTHING you want in life; realistically, it makes a lot of sense to focus on what you DO have, and not dwell on what you do NOT.........................

 

Sure, nutjobs and other lunatics abound out there and... so what? You believe that and nothing's going to change your mind about it but like you said once, fantasy cannot replace reality and beating the bishop can only go so far and isn't a good replacement when you need human contact and interaction but, hey, do you. I don't understand why it would be suicide but you have an unhealthy fear of being hurt and I will keep telling you that a life lived in fear is a life that's not worth living.

You can't have everything, but you can have what you can get and learn to make the best of what you can get. Not dwelling on what you don't have only makes sense if you do have focus on what you can have and I can only imagine how many bottoms are out there who are into being spanked who'd just love you...

 

Always has been, always will be nutjobs and lunatics in every walk of life. Those are traits that transcend age, gender, race, creed, politics, and so on. All we can do is forge ahead. We'll take lumps on the way, but that's the only way we'll find our own El Dorados.

 

Hey, Admins and Super Mods, can you maybe eliminate "micro-squinty" as a font option?

Mahalo!

 

I try to make it a point to change my font size to 5...

 

I frequently reset mine, but it has other ideas and resets itself. Maybe that's because I use different devices?

 

I always use the "6" (or "7") font size when posting; I know that has to be easier for others to read (including myself!)...........

 

Indeed it is!

Especially for codgers who have had retinal detachments repaired.

 

I've been wearing "specs" since 1965 (I was 8 then!); no matter, I always found large print easirer on the eyes....and I'm sure many other "oldsters" would agree!

 

I'll take "traditional" glasses anyday; I know I could never manage contacts, nor would I want to......I'm more than happy with my good ol' "specs"..........

 

If I could wear contacts again, I would because they don't cost as much as glasses do; what I paid for two pairs of glasses would have kept me in contact lenses for a couple of years - and I wouldn't have had to get two pairs if the hospital hadn't lost my Oakley-framed glasses when I was admitted last October...

 

It helps if one can overlook that as you age, most of you gets bigger, hairier, and closer to the ground!