Bi men and aging

Exactly! So we'll written!

 

I've been in too many situations where, as a younger man, I'm with an older man and he's second guessing himself over what he initially told me what he wanted to do and why he wanted to do it and I've heard them give voice to the same (or similar) things I mentioned in my last comment. I've sucked them off or I've fucked them or, uh huh, they've sucked me off before burying their bone in my backside and after busting a nut, they're wondering what took them so long to do this even though they really do know why they didn't do this before now and... it's pretty sad to see and hear them talk about how they deprived themselves or the wife cut the sex off and left him high, dry, and in a deep dilemma and he chooses to remain faithful to her... but he knows that if he had sex with a guy, well, that's not really cheating, is it?

It's almost the same stories over and over...

 

KD23:

Yet again, another great post!

In actuality, what too many people make out as "complex" , is, in reality, light-years beyond simplistic.....does NOT require umpteen years of intense NASA schooling to figure it all out!

 

.....as bi/gay men age, it should be that, along with advancing age, common sense should have, by this time, dictated that the whey-faced, ultra-pious, hypocritical views of both the Church and "society at large" are to be ignored, laughed at, or simply eliminated from our own minds, and just "do what comes naturally", despite the ignorance of narrow-minded naysayers..............

 

I think that, as evidenced on this site and others, a lot of bi/gay men of... advancing years are throwing out the rulebook and doing what comes naturally and, as such, finding out who they really are as men and as a person. The rules... are a guideline but we take them literally as the gospel truth and it's a truth that... isn't the truth so much since, um, duh, bi and gay guys abound everywhere in the world. As one ages, the common sense and logic involved should tell you that you don't have to indulge but if you wanted or needed to, you could since this is your life and isn't it high time you took back control of your life?

It's not a slight or anything like that but I just love it when older men eventually find out and learn something that I've known all of my life...

 

KDaddy......

All too often, too many bi men simply cannot see (for whatever reason) what is so glaringly obvious right before their eyes.......IMHO, stereotypical "stigmas" regarding m2m sex is the major roadblock these fellows encounter.....the key is to simply ignore all this "PUB" ("Pure Unadulterated Bullshit"), and simply follow your desires, lusts, inclinations, and "basic instincts"...........it's all, as we already know, quite natural.......

 

The problem with us is that too many of us pay too much attention to the stigma and other social dumb shit surrounding sexuality. We pay too much attention to distorted truths or, in actuality, the many horror stories that have been around since before I was born (and before my grandparents were, too) and then insisting that they are matters of fact and not paying attention to certain facts, like, oh, your FWB can give you something nasty and just as easily as some other guy could but we stupidly assume that all guys we don't know are carriers of STDs and are a major risk to be avoided... but we'll also bone that hot chick who's let us know that she wouldn't mind a roll in the hay with us and, yeah, simplicity seems to escape a lot of us and not many of us are friends with common sense.

You would think that the older one gets, the more clued-in one should be but that's not really the case since a lot of bi guys haven't been bi very long, like guys in their 50s to 70s and just now diving into the pool and compared to guys like me who've been in the pool for 60+ years and all that experience tends to teach you some shit that these new youngsters have yet to learn. I point to my almost-50-protege who makes me laugh because he's just now beginning to understand the things I've understood before becoming a teenager and he cracks me up telling me things that I told him when we began his mentorship.

And trying to teach his "daddy" how to suck a dick; just fucking hilarious at times but he's only now starting to see - and embrace - the simplicity of these things; he's only now beginning to shed the last of his fears - and the same fears a lot of guys here keep talking about and, yeah, he's learned a few "I told you so" lessons along the way. You see, this... lack of real understanding isn't his fault nor is it the fault of any of the bi guys here: Society is responsible for their lack of understanding and being unable to ignore the dumb shit and, well, do what can come naturally.

It's sex. It can be more than sex. There is, in fact, no one way to be bisexual and it begins with not paying any damned attention to the PUB...

 

KDaddy23:

Yet another excellent and "right on" post!

Common sense would also dictate (does anyone today even KNOW what "common sense" is nowadays?) that bisexual m2m sex does NOT require a college degree (or even a high-school diploma!) any more than it requires reading a "how to" booklet.

Maybe, perhaps, an "oral" exam would be in order, in this situation?

Again, yet again, it should be simply requiring you to acknowledge your wants, needs, and desires, and ignore any and all narrow-minded "PUB".

I mean, like, does it require a college degree to know WHEN you are HORNY, and what TURNS you ON?

Just "go with the flow", fellows............

 

I don't know how many guys I've met who have said that they wanted to get into some oral sex with me... but. All the "usual" reasons why he didn't want to do something that... he wanted to do. It's like I'm here, you're here, we won't be disturbed by anyone; that bulge in your pants is saying that you want to and, you betcha, I've got a similar bulge in my pants, and I might even be drooling a little in anticipation... but you threw that "but" out there. I'm responding to the things that followed your "but" and it's not as if you (a) don't understand what I'm saying or (b) what I'm saying isn't making any sense and (c) I'm not lying to you because I have no reason to lie and I'm not that guy so I'm trying not to be offended by you asking if I'm really safe to have sex with and you can't seem to accept that if I weren't safe, I wouldn't be trying to have sex with you.

Duh. Your reticence and hesitancy are doing a very negative number on me and my desire to suck your soul out of your body through your dick and, to me, the things you've mentioned aren't making sense to me and I'm not really sure if you actually believe the stuff (your PUB) you've been throwing out there as an adjunct to your "but." Pull your pants and underwear down and free your erection so I can put my mouth on it and put 60 years of cocksucking experience to work on you; you blowing me is optional - but we've already established that you want to suck my cock, too. What's the hold up and, importantly, what are you afraid of? And me knowing that a lot of social bullshit is the source of your fears and... no blowjobs will be happening today and you saying, "Maybe some other time..." doesn't mean a whole lot since there's no guarantee that there will be some other time and... fuck.

I'm trying to hide my disappointment; I was going to give you a blowjob you were never going to forget but I also have to respect your decision and choice to, basically, let a bunch of unadulterated bullshit get in the way of us doing something that we both said that we wanted to do. It's not like I've not been disappointed before and in this specific manner... and I know who to blame and it isn't the guy who, once again, let the PUB run his sexual life.

 

KDaddy23:

Your response indeed qualifies as a true "blow-by-blow" thesis!

Just goes to show you how thoroughly brainwashed too many bi-curious men are, all because of "PUB".

Bet you anything that there are MORE than a few closet bi guys (guys who will NOT "man up" and admit they they REALLY crave a big, hard cock, and will NEVER admit to being ANYTHING but str8) who let their wives/galpals plow their butts with the ol' strapon, while all the time they are fantasizing about getting rammed hard by another MAN using "the real thing".

Sure, they WANT to feel the "real thing" buried between their buttcheeks, hammering their prostates, but they are simply TOO AFRAID of either:

A: Fearing that they might be gay

B. Too afraid to admit what it is they TRULY want, lust for, and desire.

Truly fucked up, no matter HOW you try to decipher it...........

 

Yes, uh-huh, sure - (A) is the thing many have been afraid of and my counter has been, "Do I even look like I'm gay?" and most of the guys say that, no, I don't look or behave like I'm gay. I tell them that I've been sucking cock and even having anal sex with guys for decades and I'm still not gay. Shit, y'all act like gayness is contagious like the flu! I get to listen to shit that they've heard - but nothing they know for a cold hard fact and, okay, yeah, I've heard that shit and some shit you probably haven't heard - yet - and... what's your point?
romantic
Look, man, I want to suck you off. Maybe I'll get lucky and you'll want to try it or, if nothing else, jerk me off while I try to eat your dick off of your body. If you're not going to believe me that you do not have to be gay to suck a guy's prick, well, I don't know what to tell you since, once again, I'm not gay and wouldn't want to be and I hope, after I suck you off, I can go home and bang the old lady and, by the way, she loves the way I give head. I don't want to be your boyfriend; not because I don't think you're a wonderful person but because I don't have the time or patience to deal with a boyfriend situation so don't be worried about some romantic stuff hopping off - this is purely a sex thing so, um, can I get that dick or what?

I've heard (B) and in many forms including being afraid that if they do it, they're gonna like it. I have talked to guys - and have tried to get into the underwear of guys - who, on the one hand, say that they want to find out what it's like to be with a man and it's all they think and dream about... but, on the other, I can smell their fear as well as see it and, most times, I also see their erection begging for attention, too, as they go through the list of reasons why they're afraid to do this and, well, yeah, in the 60 years I've been bisexual, I've pretty much heard every excuse for them not wanting to do what their desires are demanding they do.

Do they really crave a big, hard cock? It continues to amaze me that a lot of guys do and... they've never gotten their hands, mouth, or butt hole on any sized cock but, then again, this is one of the reason so many guys are sitting on the bench and not getting into the game because they're prefer big cocks when, in truth and reality, any sized cock will serve the purpose. I would maintain that getting pegged doesn't have a fucking thing to do with sexuality since, these days, prostate massage is considered to be a healthy thing for our prostates... but go ask a woman to peg you and she's gonna think that (a) you're out of your fucking mind and (b) you must be gay or maybe one of those down-low bisexual motherfuckers giving people AIDS and shit.

And, yeah, some guys go with pegging because they have some fears about some dude... with a big dick... is gonna want to fuck them good and hard. Oh, they'll talk about wanting the real thing while providing every excuse they own as to why they haven't done it for real. Keep in mind that I do believe in "to each his own" and their right to prefer this, that, or the other and here's where I say, "But..." if talk is cheap, plans are not actions, and actions truly speak louder than words, um, why do you not know what I know about being fucked and creamed?

Is it truly fucked up? No, it's more like a damned shame more than anything else. Those who want to dive in and haven't has been mindfucked into not taking the plunge. Their intelligence tells them the truth of things, i.e., there must be something to this because there are a fuck-ton of bisexual men... but. End of any day, a man's gotta do what he's gotta do and if that includes not finding out what a lot of men have found out about having sex with guys, well, I can only hope that your seat on the bench is padded and comfortable.

 

KDaddy23:

One of your BEST responses ever for sure; concise, on-the-mark, and SO DAMN TRUE.

As you certainly know I'm a celibate gay male in his late 60's, and have NEVER had ANY desire nor inclination to "act gay"; outside of being turned on by men instead of women, I am as far removed from any gay stereotype as you can get.

Just because a man is GAY does NOT mean he is required to relinquish his masculinity, in order to conform to a degrading, worn-out stereotype.

What am I saying?

Just because a man is GAY does NOT mean has to conform to any or all demeaning, embarrasing gay stereotypes.

For those staight macho bigots who insist on thinking that ALL gay men are limp-wristed "queers", I'd love to see their jaws drop if they watched a gay bear video, and saw all of these big, hairy, macho, masculine daddies/bears, cops, solidiers, truckers, etc. going at each other hot and heavy with total abandon.

"Hey, wait a fucking minute......these guys don't LOOK like fags.......what the fuck?!!?"

Yeah, you just gotta wonder what their reaction would be...........

 

But wait - there's more! They may not be fags! Huh? Are you asking what the fuck? You should be. However, the limp-wristed, flamboyant queers (add finger snaps here) are forever burned in our collected memory of what constitutes being homosexual. Sure, I've been mistaken for being gay and, nope, I sure as fuck don't look like the type and as I've said, "the type" are the aforementioned limp-wristed... well, you know what I mean. I know what their reaction is like because I've seen supposedly straight males encounter a very masculine gay man and, hold up - what the fuck do you mean you're gay? And that masculine guy gets the "you don't look like the type!" bullshit as well and some of them think this is hilariously funny.

Shit, I remember the first masculine gay man I ran into, and I was, predictably, shocked since all the gay dudes I knew about where the swishy kind. I know he saw the shocked look on my face and laughed for a whole ten minutes and he pointed out that I just got a very important lesson in not judging books by their covers... and don't believe everything you hear. Then he proceeded to suck the life out of me and fucked me silly... then announced that it was my turn to do him. After that - and if I were to have a preference - it would be that the guys I have sex with behave like guys... but I really don't care as long as they're not my idea of an asshole.

 

KD23:

Another EXCELLENT response.......hell, man, you are RIGHT on the mark again!

I just now recalled a memorable "All In The Family" episode dating from the early 1970s that really is "in sync" with what we are talking about.......

Archie was convinced that Mike and Gloria's flamboyant friend Rodger (Archie refers to him as "sweety-pie Rodger) is "a pansy/fag/queer" (but was straight), BUT then Archie had one helluva shock when a big, macho, masculine buddy of his (I believe he'd been a football player) down at Kelsey's Bar admits to him that HE is GAY!

Yep, Archie, appearances are indeed deceiving, especially when you are a BIGOT!

 

I remember that episode. If I could have reached through the TV and bitch-slapped Archie, I would have because I always thought that show was more that "just TV;" it was a lesson in how we can be so prejudiced and bigoted and as I recall, the show offended a lot of people and I thought it was because they didn't like seeing themselves on TV like that or being reminded that we can be a country of racists. And even Archie Bunker eventually cleaned up his act and got his shit together, which was a message to American bigots to get with the fucking program.

Now, how would you like to be disliked because you not only eat pussy, but you also suck cock, too (and occasionally take it in the ass and give it, too)? Being told that there's no fucking way I eat pussy because everyone knows that Black men don't eat pussy and as far as sucking cock? We're too homophobic to do such a thing! I must be some kind of freak! But what I was... was bisexual but even in those days, motherfuckers didn't know the difference between a homosexual and a bisexual. I know I got to a point where I'd tell such people that I don't give a fuck if they believe me or not; you asked a question, I answered it, and it's not my fault that you didn't like it and that you got your narrow-assed worldview expanded and, oh, by the way, if you don't believe that I eat pussy, go ask your sister.

She believed me.

 

KD23:

Cannot blame you for wanting to reach through the TV screen and give Archie his long-overdue lesson in "tolerance" (many years ago, I wrote a two part tv show spoof (m/m/m!) story on the Nifty.org gay story archives board, where Archie and Mike "get to know one another" in Part 1 (and Archie finds out that his demeaning insult at Mike, "meathead", was REALLY on the mark, below Mike's belt........Archie got his first taste of "Polish sausage", and went back for seconds!)

Part 2 had Lionel getting involved, and Archie found himself getting spit-roasted, with a certain young black fellow by the name of "Lionel" ripping into Archie's white homophobic butt with NO restraint (this was AFTER he got his white ass spanked good by Mike AND Lionel, before an intense d/p session took place, with Arch as the "middleman"!

Seriously, your response nade me think of how, according to "street culture" that straight black men not only LOATHE black gays, but also, think that they are TOO MASCULINE to even consider m2m sex!

Some crap I read long ago about "male ghetto culture" despising anything even remotely connected to gay sex (trust me, I've seen MORE than a few gay flicks where MASCULINE black men take cocks from BOTH ends and obviously ENJOY it; hell, I've even seen flicks where WHITE guys are the tops, with black bottoms!)

Here again, were learn that virtually every race has its own screwed-up bigotry regarding sex between adult males.

Again, ya gotta wonder how many "rabid" homophobic black men are only putting on a show, secretly lusting for hot, sweaty, m2m sex, but, because of a fucked-up culture and "PUB", they feel that, by acting TOTALLY straight, and by showing off a strongly bigoted side, that NO ONE could EVER point a finger at them, and accuse them of harboring thoughts of getting it on with other dudes, REGARDLESS of skin color.

Sadly, our "advanced" society still has a looooooooooong way to go, in cleaning up the "PUB" it spews like toxic venom...............

 

Probably more than we may know. Obviously, I grew up around a lot of Black males and the prevailing thought - and the thing our elder males passed down to us - was that Blacks were, indeed, homophobic but I did get in trouble by asking them if being a faggot was so bad like they said, why were there a lot of faggots? They declined to answer, and I got to spend the rest of a nice summer day in my room but I would find that some Black men were well and truly homophobic... because they were taught to be while some were faking the funk in public discussions but privately? Whole different situation! They weren't so much gay as they would be considered "conditionally bisexual" or, when they couldn't get any pussy or a blowjob from a woman, they had few problems seeking out other men for this.

I still kinda/sorta laugh about this but in reality, it's not all that funny but yet another example of how our social and cultural norms and ideals of what constitutes being masculine has mindfucked a whole lot of men and not necessarily or exclusively Black and Hispanic men and "traditionally" so. I know I would get pissed off to be hanging with the fellas and they get to riffing on "those motherfucking faggots" and talking about all the violence they would bring to the fore if one of those sissified bitches asked to suck their dick - and the few who thought that giving a gay guy the dick he was asking for was proof of how real men behave - but, again, get them one on one and they'd want to suck my dick and in return for sucking theirs and all while apologizing for their hateful words but, as I would also learn, image is everything and if you want to be "one of the fellas," you have to go along with the prevailing mindset... or you risk being singled out as one of those gay-assed motherfucking bitches by the men who well and truly did not like homosexuals.

Even in the online world, I've seen profiles written by Black and Hispanic men specifying that their idea of a real man - and one they want to seriously lay the pipe to - cannot not be fem-acting, which would have me laughing ironically because, okay, you don't want the other guy to be fem-acting but you are more than willing to bend him over and almost literally tear him a new one... and all because there's something about you that women don't want to be bothered with. Having said that, there's a "subculture" of Black and Hispanic men who truly believe - and I tend to agree - that having sex with your homies doesn't have a damned thing to do with one's masculinity; you were a man before the clothes came off and you're still a man during and after the fact so... what's the problem?

Social and cultural norms are the problem.

 

KD23:

Without a doubt, Latino males also set tremendous store by that "macho" persona.....MANLY Hispanic men do NOT even THINK about m2m sex........yeah, right!

The highly-destructive "gangsta" sub-culture is also well-known for its less-than-tolerant views on black/Hispanic men who either are only into MEN, OR, BOTH men AND women.

What REALLY constitutes a REAL man, then, you might ask, given all the asinine, redundant urban "PUB"?

IMHO, I would say it all boils down to being a man with MATURITY, COMMON SENSE, and TOLERANCE......and, hell, what does it matter if you are a male into MEN, or both MEN and WOMEN?

Damn, the world sure ain't gonna end just because some guys don't follow the "straight and narrow", as society expects them to do.......it's all fucked-up bullshit, any way you slice it.......

 

It all comes down to what you're going to believe: The tired-assed rhetoric or the real-life proof of things M2M? I've always figured that it takes a real man - and some very manly guts - to suck another man's cock and swallow his semen and that goes double (or triple) for a man to lie down and be fucked and inseminated by another man. Shit, a real man wouldn't be afraid of a digital prostate exam because he knows that if he doesn't get it checked, he could die of prostate cancer or, to me, the worst thing, going through the treatment for prostate cancer. And lest we forget, effeminate gay men... are still men.

Methinks that instead of trying to define what a real man is, one should consider if they're being real with themselves and others (as needed).

 

KD23:

Agreed, 100%........WELL said, once again!

Now, of course, you and I BOTH know what it REALLY takes to be a REAL man........going down on your FWB, getting your butt spanked/slammed/rammed by your FWB, and KNOWING that no matter WHAT you are doing sexually with him (or ANY other male, for that matter), you have NOT relinquished your masculinity, and are NONE the less MANLY!

'nuff said!