I usually need to physically be in the dominant position to get off. That means finding someone who really wants to get me off. I am also content to forego my orgasm to simply get someone else off. I agree that mutual-orgasm sex is not a matter of emotionally dominating another man or woman during sex, but rather doing what it takes to get both parties off. That invariably involves really being open and intimate, and paying attention to each person's needs. I had a really good 69 session with another guy last summer where I was on top of him while we were sucking each other, and we both got off within minutes of each other. I got off first in this case, and then him shortly thereafter when I could really pay full attention to his cock. balls and anus. Laying there in a full naked embrace and kissing each others genitals afterwards was such a liberating feeling. Same feeling I get after a mutual orgasm with a woman.
I'm seeing a top just now who loves to spend a good half hour rimming me and sucking my cock as I suck his. He then likes to ride me flat on the bed with his arms round me gripping me tightly and kissing my ears as he slowly fucks me, slowly building up and up until I feel his juice squirting into me. And I so like it that he lies there in me, hugging me tight and giving me little sensual kisses all over my back and neck n ears. I find that so hot. As a bottom I love to give, feel and experience another guy's pleasure. In all sex, gay n hetero, I believe that we should all concentrate on our partners pleasure.....then it works for both. would love to hear from more tops on this thread.... Simon