Breakups.. They don't get any easier do they?

breakups deffo suck, my ex, we was together near on 4 years broke up with me coz he couldnt compleatly commit to me, and i deserve better. he totally broke my heart, yet he still calls me most days, a few times his said he still loves me and misses me, grrr its not easy when u both want diffrent things.

but all i can say to u is, if its ment to be then its ment to be

 

I hear what you are saying. But can you honestly tell me that if your wife (if you have one) left today, you could just smile and happily say ''it's ok, I'm in a relationship with the whole universe''?

 

Aww...ure right tho...everything is going to turn out fine. I had a terrible experience happen which caused me to break up w/ my ex....but in the end...the break-up was fine...its taken me time to realize wut the single me is like....and seeing if I like it or not. I rilly hope it works out for u in the way it is meant to be....either yall being happy and staying together...or u moving on and finding sumone else more suitable.

 

I can relay an experience and you can decide.

My wife died while I was administering cpr in my living room. She had a massive heart attack and there was a point when I felt the faintest of breezes rise up from her, pass directly through me and on up. I was in a heightened state because of the gravity of the situation.

At any rate, over the next 10 days I kept meeting people who I didn't know but who knew her, and it was like I could see extant pieces of her behind their eyes. During this time I was strangely euphoric and I was lending support to others who were grieving.

Then I got a phone call from the funeral home to tell me to come pick up her ashes. As I was driving to the funeral home that day, the euphoria that I had been experiencing was suddenly turned to sadness and by the time I got to the funeral home I was quite shaken. After two days of increasing sadness and dis-ease I began to reflect on what had happened.

What was the difference between what was going on now and what had been going on before. Then it hit me that where before I was acknowledging her lingering presence in the faces I saw, I was now actively denying her existence. Since I saw this I have not looked back and have even had some interaction with lingering personality that was experienced by more than one person.

We may believe that we cannot or should not exercise controlling focus of our thoughts, that perhaps it would be dishonest or unwise to do so.
However the truth is that focusing our thoughts is the only power we have to affect change in the world. Our thoughts are exceedingly powerful and we are much too lax with our attention.

We entertain thoughts that cause distress, that if it were not for the thought, no distress would appear. That is, there is no phenomenal reason for the distress. In this instance we experience in effect, feelings that are not true. Even though deeply felt and seemingly vital, they are in fact delusional.

 

Communications is the biggest cause for break ups, that I know of. Make sure you guys talk to each other about important personal stuff. Confide in one another.

 

Dope, this story is absolutely beautiful and inspiring. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing something so personal. It does make me feel much better, and I truly understand your point. This sure proves that you're not just talking out of your a$$.

Thanks again

 

I find that break ups never get easier. I'm not really sure if I believe in the whole soul mates thing any more. I watched someone I love get knocked down repeatedly by her boyfriend (emotionally and physically) and I don't know whether to believe in love totally. I love my family, my friends, my animals, but I'm not sure if I could trust another person enough to love them. I've known my friends for my whole life, and ditto to my family, of course. The whole love, soulmates, romance thing, it's just not for me. But I know people who still do have faith, and I applaud them for being more open minded than me. I guess I'm just not that kind of person.

 

I think that it is good that you are skeptical of the soul mates romance thing.
Romance is a substitute for love. We are all whole people, not a half person that needs another body to become complete. You will probably have more fulfilling relationships than many because with that attitude you are unlikely to be accusing your friend of not meeting the expectations of your romantic vision.

 

i would like to second that notion, damn that actually brought a tear to my eye.. dope ive read a few of your posts here and there and i knew you were full of wisdom and humility but sheesh, i take my hat off to you man.. this forum is gold with members like you around:sunny:

 

don't stay in a relationship.

that'll be $500.

 

I agree with the soul mate thing, but that doesnt mean there's no love. Theres more than one person that people could have a very fulfilling relationship with.