Cadywampus of WeakSauce remaining Incognitoly Convolted Of Random Facts LXl

ive posted this song before in other forums...

its so good..

it makes me want to better my life and help the children..not the adults..lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufhJ54YK0-0"]Nappy Roots- The People - YouTube

:love:

I have the chourse written down on one of my walls in my house.

 

I keep my testosterone on a shelf until I want it. Then I mainline it.

When you have children of your own, the world becomes a completely different place. It has something to do with hormones, I think.


My 19-year-old son who is with AmeriCorps in Mississippi has about a week more of training, then an assignment doing erosion control on an island off Louisiana, then a few weeks building houses in New Orleans. I'm really proud of what he's doing, and happy for him that he's getting these experiences.

...as I sit on my butt drinking my wine and posting online.

 

Look what arrived today - a gift from hubby.

 

I guess I'll talk about this here. It's really the only place I chat with people on HF.

I have something weird going on with me. For three nights, before sleep, during sleep, and upon the early awakenings this causes, I have had a strange restlessness. I joked about it being a need for sex, but that's probably not it.

I don't know what it is. It's like when you have something pressing so heavily on your mind that it disrupts your sleep. It's exactly like that except that I don't know what it's about.

It's not really just at night. It's during the day too, when I'm not distracted by anything else.

It's really starting to drive me crazy. It feels so urgent, yet I haven't a clue what it is or what I'm supposed to be doing about it.

 

its called spring anxiety..

 

You made that up, Orison!

Edit: No, you didn't! I'm looking at some stuff about it now...Thanks :love:

 

God...that's a beautiful piece of paraphernalia, Aerianne. It kinda reeks of love, to be honest.

Kinda freaky. Not really sure what to think, but I'll throw out what came into my mind, and hope it helps.

I'm thinking maybe the best thing is to try to sit quietly with no distractions sometime when you're fully awake, with no need for sleep, and just concentrate on that feeling of restlessness. Try to find that feeling and go into it, experience it as fully as possible, and see what thoughts arise as a result. I guess what I'm suggesting is a form of meditation. It's just that on one or two occasions I have found this exercise has led me to insights into my own issues.

I wish I had more to offer. I'll visualize revelation and understanding for you. I hope you find the root of this. Hugs, dear.

 

Zen, I've briefly asked myself, the universe, "What is this?" but I have not taken the time to go into it like you said. I feel like that is what I need to do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ppsDNkBLGY"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ppsDNkBLGY

 

A girl friend who ive known since we were babies is getting married in june. I have been asked to DJ for the wedding...i dont think i will..

Well the girl who is getting married was roommates and traveling buddies with my first ever girlfriend i had in highschool. I have not seen her in 9 years..

I can't imagine her not being there....but man...seeing her is going to be fucking crazy...in a good way. I want to see her..but man oh man...she dont know what i look like now lol...

As far as i know, not a single picture of me is on facebook. I have never made an account and i don't believe im on anyones profile..as i have worked to make sure this dont happen....while she has plunty of pics on hers..

So she is very in the dark with the current me...

When we dated i had short curly hair...now its a bit different.. Plus my style has changed some..

I want to see her...maybe she is single :love: she was an awesome lover...we are both scorpios..

Best realsionship ive been in...

Its crazy cause we polar opposites..me brown kid...she white redhead

 

I think you should go, Broony.

 

I love that movie.

This feels right to me.

Broony, buddy...let go of the anxieties and conjectures and what-ifs, and just let yourself be filled with love that asks for nothing in return, that just wants to be and experience.

I know you know what I'm talking about.

And now...NOW...ask yourself, "What do I want to do?"

Do you want to see this girl again?

I think you do, broony. Fucking-A.

So do it, brother. Just fucking do it. If it's not what you hoped for, it is at least what it is.

Don't grow to be an old man full of regrets. Risk a little pain now to find out what your life's potential might be - or what might be a different path than what you thought, but fucking amazing nevertheless.

And if the outcome hurts, come back here and talk to your friends, and I guarantee we will be your support and comfort.

Just do it.

 

OMG, that's pretty funny!

 

Oh i going to the wedding for sure. I doubt i will DJ though.. I would rather visit and talk with some people, than focus on spinning..

The girl getting married knows a lot of people, so the wedding will bring a lot of old faces.. its going to be a reunion for sure.

Course im not going to the wedding hoping to get laid..i dont go anywhere to try and get laid, things dont work like that unless you a manipulative pervert... i am just waiting for that one girl to walk up and show interest.. and one will come.

This will most likely be the only chance to see the old GF, as i can't imagine our paths crossing any other time..

 

Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe I do. I'll take a shot.

Broony, do you need to feel a sense of closure with that old girlfriend?

 

So there you are then. As I see it, you really have no choice.

You MUST see the old GF. Then you'll know what's what.

If you didn't go, you would always wonder. This way you will know.

For my own part, I'm praying she will want to be with you again.

But if this is not the will of the universe, I'm praying for strength and firmness for you in your spiritual path. And I know the time will come when you get what you want out of life.

All good things come to those who wait. That's a quote from the Bible, actually.

 

Yes.

We had a great and very fun time together. Then she moved to away for college and we split up. It sucked but i knew it would happen...

Then i found out 3 weeks later she slept with a guy. Which i didnt care because i was not with her anymore. Though i found out it was one of the biggest assholes in her grade and it killed me that she left me to sleep with that asshole, out of the 40,000 students, you sleep with that asshole? What does that make me? Well i was young and very pissed.

SO i called her at 2 in the morning and pretty much shut her down hard with my wicked tongue...

Her mom worked at the school i went to. I told her the reason i went off... and she understood. That was the last time we talked, that phone call.

It would be good if we both saw each other, because other than that one thing she did, everything we had was great.

 

Okay, Broony. I was sensing that. You should watch this, if you're at all inclined to astrological beliefs, and spirituality. It's a bit hard to hear because of the some wind in the mic but I think it may be speaking to what you're experiencing. The report is for this week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVkZ87IlVt0"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVkZ87IlVt0

 

Haha, i doubt anything like that will happen. That is more of my ego talking.

Plus im pretty sure she lives in the city.

Though when she sees me and i see her its going to be...you know when you see someone and you have 3 seconds where you frozen before both of you talk...yea it will be something like that..

 

10:30 to 10:50 i couldn't agree more.

I quit the drinking part he says, but i still toking like he said.

Ive known for awhile i need to not cold turkey the MJ but stop for quite some time...

lol fucking astrology sometimes...

Once i give up the weed for a little bit...i...will be...100% sober...on ALL levels..I have not been sober on all levels since i was 16...damn..such a long time.

My lungs are telling me TAKE A BREAK.

Its another mental battle..FUCK..well its how it is..

I have not smoked in 4 days now..and i have no weed to smoke...

Man being sober sucks..but those moments of clarity...damn does it remind you the willpower you hold in your palm that very very few people have...

I know i need to be 100% sober...i just know it...

Dammet though its like i quit the fucking liquor cold turkey..now no more weed right now...

No shortcuts...fuck..