child support.

i dont agree

it takes a REAL man to do what the fuck he needs to do for his children~ whatever that may be

 

Visitation gets ordered the same as child support. Here's the biggest difference between men and women when it comes to this. Upon splitting the woman usually takes the child and tells the dad he needs to help contribute some time and money. He generally stiffs the money, and she goes to court to get an order for it.

He then uses that defense, "If I can't see my son I wont pay". She stiffs him on visitation and he stiffs her again on pay. He's not smart enough to go to court for visitation, but she's smart enough to go BACK to court about the ignored payment order.

 

i hate deadbeats. but on the other hand, i also hate woman who take the child support money and use it for themselves and not hte child. my friends ex, up and left with the baby and went out west, i think to MN (not really sure, but somewhere out there). he's paid, but he can't get to see his daughter because all his money goes to paying, so he can't really travel 1/2 way across the country. then he learns his money isn't be used for his daughter - his ex uses it for herself to go out at night and what not. he talked to his lawyer, and turns out that shouldn't have been allowed to take the child that far away from him in the first place. just up and left and then uses the money on yourself instead of the baby - thats a bitch

 

I'm sorry, but while she may actually be a bitch, that does not negate that your friend is a fool for not knowing his rights when it comes to his child.

That's just irresponsible.

 

he does know his rights...she won't come back to this state

 

He knew them AFTER the fact. If he knew them before it happened he could've reported a kidnapping the day she left the state.

 

point taken...but thats the past - you can't change it. but you can fix what is wrong now and what is wrong now is her not using the child support money on the child
he's finally been able to talk to a lawyer whose helping him out now..to get her back over here...we'll see how that turns out

 

I also have paid child support in the amount of $170 per week for over 10 years. I love my daughter very much. Unfortunately I was once prescribed anti-depressants. Her mother had a lawyer terminate my visitation rights on the grounds that I might be a danger to the child or myself. A judge bought it. Complete bullshit but I can't afford an attorney to fight it. It's ok, we keep in touch through third parties and I get pics and stuff and she gets letters regularly.

 

I'm not paying any bitch $170 a week for anything. And don't tell me, "You'll change your story".

No, I wont. One seventy a week is more than I'll pay for anything but rent.

 

$170 isn't that much, I guess it just depends on the cost of living where you are. My ex-husband is paying $198 a week plus extra until he catches up on back child support.

It's okay, though. He has a good job and can afford it.

 

When my parents split my dad was making over $40k a year and my mom got 800 and change a month for 2 kids. $170 is bullshit. That's telling me that it takes $340 a week JUST to support a kid. Bullshit.

 

I'm sorry that I did not include my entire joint parenting agreement to you. Whatever happened between your mother and father is really different from anyother divorce. Yes there are laws for child support but each divorce is not the same. Not only do I pay the 20% of my paycheck each week ( adds up to $8,000 a year I pay), but I also go above and beyond that I have to. Why, because it is my daughter! I also have a closet full of clothes for her at my house, I have her enrolled in activities/park district, she also has a weekly allowence that she earns here, plus I go out of my way to spend extra time with her. I also forgot that I sometimes take her out to dinner or hang around Chicago one evening a week for 4 hrs. I am sorry that your father was in a different situation, but do not get upset at the whole child support thing, just because what you have experienced. Each state laws are different............


~namaste~

 

Wow, it's nice to see someone go ABOVE what the state orders him to do.



Forget money, I think it's really great that you spend so much TIME with your daughter. She must be a very lucky girl.

 

I don't and I really can't. But I do it anyway. The children of whom I took custody suffered for it. They still suffer because they watched me slave 70 hours a week and now they do that for themselves. But at least they know not to have children.

 

my dad paid $500 a month for three kids... and he was in the military so they were giving him extra money for having kids... my mom was way too lenient with the agreements i think because she felt guilty for the divorce because she had an affair, but it really does affect the kids. And a lot of resentment from all of us ensued... luckily he still pays her $500 even though my brother and i are 23 and 24, and my sis is 15

and kids are expensive... health care alone for one dependent could be an extra $80 a week depending on your plan. (in this aspect we were lucky that my dad was in the military and we got coverage under him so my mom didn't have to worry too much about this until he retired a few years ago) i mean it's not just food and clothes, it's a bigger place, time, daycare (which is pricey) until they reach school age... extracurricular activities, etc etc etc

i'm definitely not opposed to child support.

 

Everyone's experience with child support is different.

My biggest pet peeve is when the state has to step in on behalf of the custodial parent, and make the other parent take some responsibility. I don't give a shit what your reasons are, there is NO reason not to help take care of your children.

All I know is that I would take time over money, every time had I the option.