Chuck Norris Facts.

Chuck Norris can absorb all of the THC out of weed just by looking at it.

(I wish I could be like Chuck.....

 

^^^hahahaha nice.

In 500 years, pure energy will be observable under a very sophisticated microscope. When viewed, you will be able to see millions of Chuck Norrises doing roundhouse kicks nonstop at an incredible rate. When this happens, Chuck will emerge from his grave after a long sleep, stretch his arms and casually say, "I cannot be created or destroyed."

When Chuck Norris says jump, you ask for permission to come down.

Chuck Norris wears custom made boots with his name imprinted on the bottom. The reason being is so if anyone ever asks him for his autograph, they will get it permanently across the side of their face.

 

Chuck norris got an erection.

There were no survivors.

 

oh what the fuck!

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage..... we know this beverage as Red Bull

chuck norris wears ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure

chuck norris is currantly suing NBC, claiming that Law and Order are the trademarked names of his left and right legs

 

god wanted 10 days to create the universe...chuck norris gave him 7

 

chuch norris ate a 72 pound porterhouse steak in 37 minutes, he ate it in two and spent the other 35 fukin the watress dirty styllezzzz

 

chuck norris can touch MC Hammer

 

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

 

Chuck Norris knows the square root of 5.

 

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, unfortunatly he has never cried. Ever.

 

you are so gay.. i made that up a few weeks ago, and now you completly took credit for it.. i will bitch slap you next time i see you

Announcement: MrCharlie is a damn word burgler and deserves to be banned

 

The Bible was originally named 'Chuck Norris and Friends'.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard, only another fist.
According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.
God didn't impregnate the Virgin Mary... Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
An anagram for ‘Walker Texas Ranger’ is ‘Karate Wrangler Sex’. I don't know what that is, but it sounds awesome.
Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

 

REMEMBER:

These are F-A-C-T s and i want you all to remember that.

i sure hope chuck norris knows how much people apreciate him.

even though he cant remember the time he ate a book about hypnosis and managed to get the pope to give him a sensual blowjob without even using hypnosis

 

Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris walks on Jesus.

 

hahahaha that one made me laugh.

 

i actually have a chuck norris autobiography.. called against all odds.. possibly he teamed up with phil collins

 

hahahahahahah chuck norris. ahhahah walker texas ranger. hahahahahahaa conan o brien. hahahhahahahaha borat. hahaha ali g.. hahaha marijuana and beer!

 

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http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck

my favorite is "Chuck Norris can talk about fight club."