Corrupted Wishes...

granted, but now you have no hair

i wish i was smoking tonight

 

granted but your smoking horse shit

i wish i had a pound of jack herer

 

Granted. Mr Herer is now a pound lighter. Better hope those blood stains come out.

I wish my pretzels weren't stale.

 

granted, theyre just fresh dough

i wish my wish for no curly hair didnt get corrupted

 

granted, but now you have curly hair down to your knees

i wish i wasn't tired

 

granted, youre now officially addicted to amphetamines.

i wish you werent addicted to amphetamines

 

granted, but now i'm addicted to opiates

i wish you were addicted to opiates too, so i don't have to be alone

 

Granted.. but opium is eradicated and now we snort eraser shavings..

I wish my fuckin head would stop pounding!!!

 

granted, but it has to cum first =P

i wish my plans for tonight work out

 

granted, but now they're stronger than you, and beat you up.

i wish i could stop giggling.

 

granted, but now you can never giggle again.

I wish that my brothers hadn't used all the hot water.

 

granted, but now the water is so hot that it vaporizes you on contact.

i wish i had some pumpkin pie, im hungry.

 

granted, but the chef ended up adding way too much garlic and cilantro to the recipe.

I wish i never had to sleep and could stay awake forever.

 

granted but your life is a living hell.

i wish i knew what the meaning of life is.

 

Granted, but you found out it is really not inspiring at all to know the meaning of life.

I wish that I was rich and didnt have to work a day in my life.

 

granted, youre bored for the rest of your life.

i wish i didint know the meaning of life

 

granted.. but its too late.. you have already found out that life is meaningless

i wish i could get rid of this cold

 

granted, but now you have the flu forever.


I wish I was darth vader.

 

granted, you become him just before he dies.

i wish i was the one who kills darth vader

 

granted.. but you kill him because he had a heart attack while fuckin you in the ass...

I wish i was Luke Skywalker