Corrupted Wishes...

granted your mind is looped out into a permanent day dream state of fantasy making you look mentally challenged


i wish i knew you

 

granted but I'm a child molester.

I wish not to have random drug testing.

 

Granted.. you will receive random shit tests in which someone will insert their hand into your ass to get a proper rectal mucus sample

I wish i had a new bike

 

granted but the wheels r square

i wish i hadnt fell off my bike

 

Granted but if you stayed on your bike you would have been hit by an 18 wheeler

I wish I had tickets to one of the Phish shows in March

 

granted but u ended up gettin tickets 2 the sea life centre

i wishy i had sum weed

 

Granted but it is covered in shards of glass

I wish my report could write itself

 

granted the word "itself" keeps showing up on the paper

i wish i could talk to animals

 

Granted but all they do is tell you how much they hate you and wish to gouge out your insides

I wish my friend would hurry up with his haircut so we can smoke

 

Granted.. but you're smoking butt hash

I'm gonna get high

 

Granted but you will get super paranoid

I want to buy an 8th

 

granted.. but its an 1/8th of seeds and stems

i wish i had $400

 

granted, but you have to give it to a junkie

i wish i had more pierogies.

 

granted, but they're old and moldy

i wish i had good marijuana for a cheap price

 

granted, but it's unsmokable for an unknown reason

i wish my room was clean

 

granted.. but you lock yourself out

i wish i was thinner

 

granted, but you're so thin nobody can see you

i wish my mom were home so we can get ice cream

 

granted, but your mom decides she doesn't want to get ice cream anymore

i wish we didn't have school tomorrow

 

(haha we actually don't)

granted, but it's because all of your teachers went on strike for 2 months and now your summer vacation is ruined.

i wish i had the perfect boyfriend

 

granted, but he leaves you for another female family member

i wish i had a bottle of water