Corrupted Wishes...

granted but its one of those old english bikes with the really big tire and really small tire...

I wish.. i was Skee-Lo

 

granted, youre now one ulgy mofo

i wish google wasnt my friend

 

Granted.. now google is your friend and calls you every 5 minutes to see whats goin on and if you want to hang out.....

I wish Walmart was dead

 

granted, but when the mobs were clear, the emo druid ressed him, and mage gave him water to bring mana... cough... sales back up...

i wish it was as simple as admitting im an asshole

 

granted.. but you are persecuted for being gay

I wish I wasn't an asshole..

 

granted, but you're an old, wrinkly, loose vagina instead.

i wish i didn't have a volleyball tournament this weekend.

 

granted, your now just like that skywalker fag

i wish everyone would admit that im mega awesome, and that they envy my win

 

granted, but you don't believe them

i wish the 4th book in the series that i'm reading would be released soon

 

Granted but everyone important dies from AIDS

I want to smoke this bowl, I finta

 

granted, but you end up actually smoking the bowl itself, and not the weed.

i wish i had more energy

 

Granted but you use it all up sexin with me

I want to smoke more haha

 

granted, your now sterile.

i wish i would believe everyone when they told me i was mega awesome and just win all around

 

granted, but you smoke pure indica end up passing out and don't get to witness me sexin you up

i wish you smoked sativa instead

 

granted, but now they're all lying to you and laughing at your ignorance

i wish mr.green lived in a world where people didn't lie to him and truly believed he was mega awesome and he believed them.. and stuff.

 

granted, im now in the mental institution on strong dosses of muscle relaxants... mega win

i wish the next wish someone makes comes true

 

granted, but it's going to be corrupted by someone in the very near future.

i wish i had more bobby pins

 

granted, but now you have a lifetime supply of them, and have to keep them all in your room.

i wish there was something to do tonight

 

granted, you could have asked for world peace, money, hot ass or even just ice cream, yet now you will get more bobby pins

i wish i had a time chamber, where i can like spend 5 years in, go out, and its only been like 1 minute in real time, and i havent aged at all... and like after 50 uses you become immortal, and then get pyro powers and take over the world, and take a bunch of pills and put my shirt over my head, and scream:

I AM CORNHOLIO, I HAVE TEEPEE IN MAAH BUMHOL!!!

 

granted, but it's an old, stinky fat man sitting on your bed saying, "come get it, baby!"

i wish i didn't have blisters all over my feet

 

granted, youre goiung to do something