court tomorrow

wow Boog... that is so shitty. Maybe once you write this letter and they realize that you made a one time mistake because of your depression meds they can give you the supports needed to be able to get her back. I know here they do everything in their power to keep children with their mother, or at least their families. I think if you were just a pot head you wouldnt have lost her... I'm sure its the Pot Brownie thing and you need to convince them that something like that could never happen again. What kinds of meds were you on that made you that clueless? I would assume it would've been up to your doctor to make sure that you could still function on the meds if they knew you had a child in your care. I'll ask my H about it, he works in child protection.
well... he says that they may not be giving her back because there is still concerns with her safety... because you give her the brownie.
They need to know that your judgement is no longer impared. Prove that. Secure suitable housing, programs for yourself (councelling for the depression?), income etc. Get an assessment is done so that you have a clear diagnoses, otherwise you dont know what they expect, what you need to do other than the NA if that's not a fit.

 

boogabaah,
I wish you all the best in your case. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

 

Good luck.

 

i wrote it all out. my boyfriend wrote out a bunch of stuff too. i even made copies of the med schedule the doctor that prescribed me all the meds made.

i was on .. klonopin, effexor, risperdal, and depekote... they ALL say on the bottle .. WARNING: may cause drowsiness.. they should have also stated that if you take all four of those at once your brain sorta goes into to stupid numb mode..

i'm going to bed.. i'll let you know how it goes..

 

..

 

awwww, boogs... good luck tomorrow! i think a lot of the time, the bastards who take kids away from their parents try to intimidate people (especially single moms in the system) into freaking out and accidentally digging their own grave by admitting how horrible they are as parents. unfortunately, these terror tactics drown really good people who totally love their kids.

the system is so fucked up. loving parents are child abusers because they use pot, people who have medical mj can still get raided by the feds, and the fat cats at the top just get fatter off everybody else trying to have a good, happy life.

i really feel for ya boog... partly cause i can so see that being a situation that may come up for jrny and me someday with our kids, since we're hardcore against doctors, vaccinations, and any type of conventional medicine. it's sad that everyone has to conform so much in order to keep their kids in this society.

but yeah... good luck!!!!! let us know what happens.

 

I've done the depakote effexor combo, it made me into a little autistic kid who cried when he found out wal mart moved their displays...

 

basically nothing happened.. the courts are gonna file what i wrote into their thingy.. but no news on if i get my kid back sooner or what.. sucks.

 

It also sucks that everything takes so long, they just file it... in the mean time you are going crazy/er without your kid.

That is a whole lot of drugs, I'm not a pharmacist... but I can tell you effexor does make people drowsy, nevermind mixing it with other drugs.

The doctor should be answering to this.

 

I agree.
That is a lot of downers. I completley get the whole picture now. I am sorry.

 

Boogabaah,

I'm very sorry about all of your difficulties. It sounds like Bella Désordre has work experience in this area. I'd listen to her advice.

I'm NOT a lawyer, and have no experience in this area, so I'd run all of the suggestions I'm about to make past your attorney.

Let me suggest that you make some drastic changes here. Your kids' futures are at stake, so now is not the time to be making 'political' or 'lifestyle' statements!!! Specifically:

1) Consider what is really best for your kids. Being in the CPS system is NOT what is best for them. Since it sounds like you will have a hard time convincing them to return your kids directly to you, maybe you should consider asking them to "place" all of your kids with your ex-husband's parents. At least this way, they will be with actual family, and your access would almost certainly be better than with any other arrangement.

2) Try very hard to look "establishment." No more hippie clothes or dreaddy hair (at least use a scarf or something) or bare feet in court. A business suit might be one of the best investments you could make. I realize that this all goes against the very substance of your being, but we are talking about your kids' futures here. You can do all of this and stay true to your inner self. It's just an outer shell you are putting on to do business. I can assure you that if you look out of line of what is considered "normal," then "the system" will almost certainly reject you without even listening to your case. Fair? No. The way it is? Absolutely.

3) Deference towards authority. Do not even think about getting in anyone's face. Any emotion shown should be a passionate concern for your children, and submission towards the court. Swallow your pride. It's called "doing what you have to."

4) A two-pronged approach to "reform." One, as Bella Désordre suggested, do whatever personal improvement stuff they suggest. Be seen as a "good little girl." Two, try to figure out what is really needed to make your life and your kiddos' lives better. You can figure this out better than anyone else, but seek the wisdom of others too.

Again, these suggestions are not at all "hippy" suggestions. Quite the opposite. However, we are talking about your childrens' future. Keep in mind that CPS has the power to completely and permanently destroy your family, for its own "good."

Your children have been given to you as a sacred blessing, but you can't give them all that you have to offer if you are not with them. Resolve to do all that you can honorably do to get past this situation.

I wish for the best outcome for all of you.

 

Your kid can't live with you, Boog?

 

since you're new around here ya don't know me all that well..

i'm always polite as can be to anyone and everyone in this and all situation. i've already told cps that i want my littlest one to be placed with my other kids, IF they're not gonna give her back to me.

if i'm calm, they say i'm unemotional, if i cry they say i'm too depressed, theres really no winning with them.

i've asked cps and my PD about the barefoot thing.. both said it's no big deal. i do dress as conservatory as i can whenever i go to court or to meet with cps people. pull my hair back and make sure i look as clean as possible. (not that i ever really look dirty)

the more i talk to other parents in my same situation here, the more i learn that cps is very aggressive in this area. at first they had told me two to six months. now i'm learning it's more like 18 months to two years for EVERYONE no matter what the case is.

the thing that gets me the most, is the lack of communication they have with me. if i don't directly ask them specific questions that i have no way of knowing need to be asked.. they don't tell me stuff, then it looks bad on me.

i am jumping through their hoops. they slack in a lot of areas though. only drug testing me once since all of this started. the DA wants to say i wasn't taking the four psych meds, even though i was, but i was never tested to see what was in my system the day this all started.

i have learned my lesson. i need to do what my gut instinct tells me and never to ignore it.

 

Boogabaah,

I certainly didn't mean to imply any insult against you. I hope you didn't take offense.

I just inferred from some of your other posts that you would probably be perceived as "strange" by the system. I know that courts and CPS folks are almost impossible to convince when everything is perfect. If you're perceived as even slightly outside of the norm, then your chances for a positive outcome are much worse.

I was just trying to offer specific suggestions to improve your odds. It sounds like you already have done all of these things and more.

No, I don't "know" you, but I have been reading your posts for some years now. I read a *LOT*, but I only post when something sets me off, or I think I can help. I've thought you are pretty cool for a quite while. I just hate all of the difficulties you and your family are having now.

 

As Groucho Marx used to say: "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" :-/

 

i know the universe knows what it is doing, even if it sucks. i will get my little one back. someday my two older kids will live with me again. all of this will be old memories we might even laugh about.

 

it always makes me feel like they are sort of saying..

"we know you are starving to death, but you can not have this delicious food until you are not hungry any more!"