diapers, diapers, diapers.....ahhhh!

You are only 19 and smart smart smart! Way to go!

 

ello again!
i did some reading up on the cloth diapers at that mothering.com place. It helped a LOT! And it helped when I was trying yet again to proove it to the dad. He's coming around now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I'm at home all day with the baby, I told him that I'll be the one taking care of babes, so it only makes sence that I do it the way that I would like, especially if it's going to save money.
I've been trying to explain to him that it's not going to be that much work as he's making it out to be, and I think that once he sees me doing it, he may come around more.
I don't like it, but I'm willing to use disposiables on trips and stuff, and my family has said that they would really appreciate it if we did that when we're visiting them. Or if we're out at the mall all day or something. Little things like that. Then dad at least gets some say.
But at the same time, if it's a boy, he's the one deciding about the circumcision (sp?)....he's the man, he has a penis....i don't....so I'm thinkin he's a lot more entitled to make that decision. So I think that I should get to make the diapering decision.
He really came around when I told him about the fact that cloth babies are potty trained a lot faster. And when I asked him what he would rather have on him butt all day, his nice, airy, soft boxers or plastic wrap. He shut up when I said that.
so yeah, thanx again for all the info and support!

 

RE: I don't like it, but I'm willing to use disposiables on trips and stuff, and my family has said that they would really appreciate it if we did that when we're visiting them.

So rather than do a load of laundry they want a bag of foul smelling fecal matter around?

RE: Or if we're out at the mall all day or something.

Bring a couple extra and a wet-lined bag. You don't want to mess the kids up - they get used to one thing and are weirded out by another.

RE: Little things like that. Then dad at least gets some say.
But at the same time, if it's a boy, he's the one deciding about the circumcision (sp?)....he's the man, he has a penis....i don't....so I'm thinkin he's a lot more entitled to make that decision.

For what it's worth, why would he be considering it? Surgery on a newborn for no reason is a HELLA BAD IDEA.

RE: So I think that I should get to make the diapering decision.

Decisions should be mutual, and the best decision possible. Personally, I think that the cheaper, better for the environment, better for the kids, recyclable option is far preferable to disposables. And that we were born a certain way and we should not have pieces lopped off us without our consent unless it's an issue of said pieces being gangrenous, cancerous, etc.

 

if your going to cloth diaper there are people always selling thigs like that new and used and i n "lots" on ebay you can sort them by price.

 

well, i guess he wasn't all for the diapering thing....we had another disagrement (sp?) about it last night. I don't understand why he's so gung-ho about these disposables. Especially when I'm doing the diaper changing, the laundry, the feeding, etc.... blah.
as for the circumsion thing.....i dont want to do it. i hate the idea. but he wants to get it done. it's not like there's a compromise that we can make about it....you either do it or you don't. but like i said, he's the man, he understands it a lot better than i do. i still hate it though.....
but anyway, that's off topic.
you can't always compromise on everything, but when it comes to using the disposables once and a while on trips, that's what my mom did with me and lots of other moms do....i've seen it on here a lot.

RE: decisions should be mutual, and the best decision possible. Personally, I think that the cheaper, better for the environment, better for the kids, recyclable option is far preferable to disposables. And that we were born a certain way and we should not have pieces lopped off us without our consent unless it's an issue of said pieces being gangrenous, cancerous, etc.
it's easy to say that, but when it comes time to make the decisions, that's another story. Of course, I think that cloth is best and no circumsion. he thinks the total opposite is best. Of course, he hasn't been able to make much of an argument for both, except for the fact that the doctor said that circumsion was the heathiest way to go and that the disposables are faster....

 

RE: Of course, he hasn't been able to make much of an argument for both, except for the fact that the doctor said that circumsion was the heathiest way to go and that the disposables are faster....

The hell? Since when does medical science supposedly have a definitive reason for circumcision? Since when does cutting a piece of tissue off a perfectly healthy kid constitute good health?

As for disposables being "faster" - they also lead to more rashes, skin reactions, etc. and are not healthier for the kid.

 

hey, i'm on your side.....i've told him everything that your saying. I don't know why he doesn't get it......
he keeps saying that since his mom switched after a month of cloth diapering him, I should just go straight to disposables. I think that he thinks that since he turned out normal, I don't have any grounds for an arugument. I don't know what it is, really.

 

Ah.

Let me put it this way. A friend of my wife is under tremendous pressure from her family to NOT attempt natural childbirth in a birthing center. Apparently her aunt couldn't do it and bailed for a hospital - so they don't want her to try in case she succeeds and it breaks the woman's self esteem that "her family can't do it".

Mummy couldn't handle cloth and thought it best to take a knife to her son's dork. Apparently if you do different this might indicate precious mummy is wrong.

Oooh I don't like the way this looks. A guy who still has the apron strings tied around his neck.... ick. Tell you what. Tell him you'll be down for the circ if he's the one that holds the baby down as it screams blue murder. Have him go watch it done.

 

Im sorry this has gone off topic but I have to agree here...I would FIGHT untill I won about circ.My husband wanted to do it untill I hit with the facts. There is NOTHING healthy about cutting perfectly good skin off of a perfect baby. Circing is only cosmetic. Circ rates are dropping dramaticly in the US.
If you look into it on mothering.com there are tons of links on it giving more facts.

I refused to do cosmetic surgery on my little boy. If he wants to cut his perfectly made penis then he can do so when he is 18.

Circing is sad.... I would fight that mama, fight for your boy. More of us mommies are finally getting the truth about this awfull proceedure.

As for the disposables.... you can go to the health food store and get the envio friendly disposables for in times of need but I have never bought them. I have cloth diapered 3 kids just fine. Remember commercial disposables are FULL of toxins and chemicals and I can only frown at the thought of putting one on a cut up penis.

You are on the right track mama, keep fighting.

 

Teeny tiny, I know you love your man, but (I've said this before) he is too controlling. Since he doesn't like cloth diapers he is not allowing it? Because he wants the child to be circed it will be done? What's next? What if you disagree about spanking? Child care? Schooling, etc? He obviously isn't giving an inch-and you are giving in completely. This is your CHILD. While diapering choices don't seem like a big deal-other decisions are (ie circing). You cannot let him bully you into allowing a doctor to perform an unnecessary surgery on your child's penis. You need to research and show him hard facts as to why you are against it. And-as I have said before- seriously consider your relationship. I smelled trouble since your first post. Please, for your sake and this innocent baby.

 

There is a video tape called "nurses against circumcision." Get a copy, make your bf watch it, also get photos and videos of circs being done and MAKE him watch. My dh wanted Lennon circed until I did this. He almost cried when he saw what a circ actually WAS!

Some people are just not educated on circs (it appears most of the people on this site are, thank God) my dh actually said to me, when I got pregnant the first time, and we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl.
"Well, if it's a boy, let's wait and see if he even has one. I mean, I don't even know if I had one. Y'know, in the locker room, some dudes had them and some didn't." Yeah, Bear, the ones who didn't got them cut off!!!! OMG, my poor dh didn't even KNOW that ALL MEN have foreskins, and that his was lopped off when he was an infant. I had to explain to him the "facts of life" about male organs in their natual state. *sigh*

Anyway, I got very VIVID photos and videos of circs and had my dh watch them (of course he didn't want to, and spent the entire time with his hands crossed over his crotch, can you blame him?) and then we DIDN'T circ our son Lennon.

Get pictures and a video. Make him watch. He may not be so "gung ho" about carving up his child after he sees them honey. When it comes to keeping a boy's genital integrity. I say, "By any means neccesary." Leave that weiner alone!

 

Here's a link to that video and the superb job the group Nurses Against Circ do. There is also a good group called NOHARM and one called NOCIRC which do similar work.
You can buy the video from The Nurses of St. Vincent's.
http://www.circumcisionvideos.com/nsv.htm

 

I'll look into that circ video.
As for the diapers thing, it turns out i just misunderstood what he was saying. So we're all good and on with the cloth diapers we go! yey! we're going out to get them as well as some other baby stuff today!!!!!
but yeah, as for the circ thing, I really don't see the point in it at all. we're born a certain way for a reason. But when we were last at the doc's office, and he was asking about it, the doc said that she really recomends it and that the skin can grow over and it can also increase the risk of cancer. WELL, i did some research on this myself, and the chances of anything like that happening were about 1 in 100 000.
The funny thing is, alberta health care won't even cover the cost of it; they see it as cosmetic surgury. and rightly so!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if it is so "recomended," why wouldn't it be covered?
His biggest concern is that it won't stay cleaned properly because of the skin. But why would you put your baby through that unnecessary pain when they're already trying to get used to this new enviornment all together?
He's not the only parent in the world who agrees with circ, so it's not like he's being irrational. Actually, in Canada, 85% of all boys are circed, as opposed to 45% in the US....but that's besides the point. I still think that it's barbaric and mean.
but hey, we don't even know if it's going to be a boy yet anyway!
However, I'm still going to make him watch those videos. Thanx maggie.

 

actually, i was totally wrong about the diaper thing. he went and talked with my mom about it the other night after we were talking about this, and it turns out i just misunderstood him. it's not a big deal to him if i use them or not.
but like i said, as for the circ thing, it's not really an area that we can compromise. if I say, "we CAN'T do it, then I'm focing him to do somethign that he doesn't think is right." So, we're doing the research together, and making a decsion after that. we're not always going to agree. in fact, I'm the only one in my family except for my dad who doesn't think that we should do it, including the doctor. Doesn't mean that I'm not going to fight for what I believe. he's honestly not bullying me into anything. we're looking into this together. he's asking doctors and reading about it just as much as i am.

 

I wouldn't base to many opinions on Dr.'s mama, they are just going to give you a politicaly correct answere which is usually the wrong one.

Base your opinion on unbiased research.

Its pretty simple though... Being cut for cosmetic reasons. Either you think its ok or you don't. I hope y'all can find out what suits you both. Im sure it will all come together just fine.

Good luck!

 

On a young boy, the "skin" (which is actually a fully functioning organ, not just superfluous "skin") seals the head of the penis. Nothing can get in and get the actual penis "dirty." In a baby whose foreskin hasn't become retractable yet, (it retracts ON IT'S OWN between 2 years and the teen years) the foreskin has a function of KEEPING the penis head clean and healty and lubricated. (Well, it does this for a man as well.) Just wash the outside of the penis, and that is all you need to do. NEVER retract the foreskin, and don't let anyone else do it either. It will retract when it is ready. Most problems with intact foreskins are actually due to someone forcably retracting the organ before it is ready to be retracted.

The penis of an intact child stays clean. You just wipe the head of the penis like you would the tip of his little fingers, there isn't much more to it. Care of a circed penis is MUCH more difficult and more painful as well, for the baby. Even peeing and cleaing can be unbearably painful for a while after the chopping is done. Tell your bf that you don't remove the vaginal lips of a baby girl to facilitate cleaning the vagina and other parts of the Yoni, and those actually get messier than a penis. He needs to LEARN what a foreskin IS, and what it's function is, and how to take care of it.

I will look. I am betting www.mothering.com has good articles on infant foreskin use and care.

Take care honey and don't back down.