Well, to the OP: Yes, it is VERY MUCH considered rape. I was good friends with a drug and alcohol counsellor/social worker when I lived in British Columbia, and we talked about subjects like this a lot. -If you say NO, it's rape... whether or not you fight back (a lot of women don't fight back, to hopefully avoid being hurt worse). -If you are UNDER THE INFLUENCE of ANY kind of drug (alcohol included) it's rape. And with hearing that, I asked her, "So, if I got stoned, had consensual sex with my fiance, and regretted it - is it still rape?" She answered - "Yes, it is. You were under the influence and he took advantage of that." It's simple as that. Being attacked in a dark alley or in a park at night has nothing to do with it. Rape is about one person (male or female) taking advantage of someone they see as weaker/an "easy target" (male or female). When you're under the influence, you're often seen as an "easy target" and "more likely to agree, so it's not rape". Here in the real world, it is.
Yeah alcohol is a drug. As others have said, you were drugged and highly taken advantage of. At 17 you were vulnerable. Im so sorry to hear this has happened to you, but know youre not alone I have had sex forced upon me while i was asleep and after i woke i was pinned down hard, ive also had the alcohol issues (at your age too) (I was also raped in the more obvious sense) I too knew my rapist very well. Just because these circumstances are slightly different to what people consider to be the average attack, it doesnt in any way mean it was our fault Having said that, without knowing more about the man in question its hard to say whether or not it was fully his intention to "rape". Of course all men should know not to take advantage of a drunken 17 year old, especially pushing the alcohol on you, but theres a small chance he didnt realise the impact this would have and didnt see it that way. It obviously depends on what this guy is like so its hard to give advice Really sorry to hear what youve been through, the people on these boards are very kind and will listen to you any time, i know ive been there I hope things are getting back on track for you
well if he spiked your drink and didn't tell you that is against the law, for sure. if you agreed though, then it wasn't. i'm not sure what you should do as i haven't heard both sides of the story, and even then, its always confusing. it sounds from your story that you were taken advantage of, and i am not sure what i would do in the same position. definately stop being friends with the person!, at the very least. i feel sorry for some men however who probably ahave gotten blamed for rape when both people were drunk and it's not the guys fault. just saying i did get some vibes like that reading this thread, but maybe it's just me. anyways take care of yourself and just forget it happened, if thats possible, ...if not become a groovy chick again =]