Dirty Talk Gone Wrong

The English often say (at least in Romance novels) I want to mount you. Maybe that might have worked better?

 

Butterflies. Yeah, that brought back memories of a disturbing book and movie (THE COLLECTOR) which I read as a youth. Odd thing is I was only offering my suggestion (is that not what the OP had requested?), and not telling him it was the right thing to do. However, mounting always makes me think of horses (not butterflies).

Curious how people perceive things differently. Perhaps I've read too much English literature and trash? But I don't equate mounting horses with pinning butterflies with pins? Also, I thought this thread was about dirty talk - not the same thing as real life. What we say and what we do are rarely the same thing. Again, curious how people perceive things differently. I'll live. And so will you. The beat goes on

 

My first reaction might be that she is over-reacting...

BUT!!

Three months isn't very long and there is probably alot of her history you don't know (and she doesn't know yours). Use this as an opportunity to talk about your pasts. This word could have triggered an emotional trauma that she doesn't want to think about or face.

I would tell her you were sorry, you would like to know why that upset her so much so that you won't use it again. There are some words that trigger bad responses for me, but I've learned to explain those to my partner... not to make a big deal about it, but so he is aware of it. But it took me a long time to learn to do that and how to do it.

 

She may have just thought of it as a turn off.

But I feel like in a sexual situation that you should just say that and move on from there. No need to be actually upset.

 

I totally agree. Reading too much into it is a mistake. Say you're sorry, and don't make the same mistake again. It takes a couple a long while to finally figure out what is mutually satisfying. But once you've managed that - nirvana

 

She's going to remember that moment for ever

 

So you must know her personally (I take it)?

 

Yes I do

 

Then apart from talking about it on HF, what have you done to help her feel more safe and secure?

 

in all honesty, I would be turned on....... but if it pissed her off... apologize and move on.

 

nothing, cuz I'm a pussy. I just talk about stuff I do and don't follow through