Do you cut yourself..?

For me it started one day when I was doing my homework. My dad came in and started screaming at me. Calling me names, and demanding that I do the dishes immediately. So I rushed into the kitchen and did what he said. As I was doing the dishes he continued to yell and scream and it mad me so mad/sad that I took the knife that I was cleaning and cut into my forearm with it. It made me feel better, than from than on it became a habit that lasted about 2 years.

 

whoever sent me the "gro up and fuck off" rep thanks for not signing it pussy

 

It can be both a learned behaiour and "something from within".
There are people who remember hurting themselves when they still were small children, because for them it was the only possible reaction to things happening to or around them.
A lot of people - including me - start in their teenage years, and while self-harm may not be a learned behaviour, cutting often is. I can only speak for myself now and am not an expert or anything.
I had the tendency to pinch and scratch myself in difficult situations for quite some time, but would never have thought of cutting myself. Then I read these articles about it, it was more or less a new idea for me. I began playing with the thought, but still didn't do it. Then my best friend (pen pal) started. I was shocked and sweared I'd never do this, but a year later I felt worse and worse for different reasons and one day it was just: "Wtf? Why not?" and I tried it.
And then - the typical cycle that leads to addiction (see other post).

I'd say that in most cases, the tendency comes from within, but you learn your methods from others.

Hope I'm not talking nonsense here, just my 2 cents.

 

thats what i expected, kinda. its how most additcions to hard drugs start. someone who's only been doin it a lil while, still thinks its ok and they are not addicted, and they spread that misinformation to others, either to impress, or to fit in, by the time they finally realize the extreeme harm they are doing to themselves, they have gotten many people to start and teach it to others. now, cutting is very widespread and accepted amoung young adults, almost commonplace, when it really is an abhorrant addiction, and a severe form of escapism. not to mention that the initial buzz of relief will wear off shortly, but the long lasting impression of the experience ends up making you feel more guilty and depressed then you were in the first place. i wish there was something I could do, to better help people, but whenever a grown male hippy starts talkin to teens and preteens, the lynch mobs start to form.

 

I cut for awhile when I was at my lowest.. except it wasn't exactly cutting. I more scratched pictures into my wrist with a needle just until it bled and then picked the scab over and over so it would scar. The worst was a big heart with a slash through it. Very emo of me. =P That was more of a learned behavior- my best friend at the time who happened to be older and a big role model to me cut alot. In the efforts of making her feel better, I got depressed and began cutting so it was always a cycle of one day I would be happy and optimistic, trying to help her out, then she would get better but not before pulling me down to where she would be happy and helping me while I was depressed (if that makes sense).

When I was alot younger though, I used to chronically pull my hair out. I'd just take huge hunks and rip it out whenever I got upset about something. I don't do any of it anymore because I've gotten myself under control, but I still get tempted every once and awhile.

 

just read the whole thread..

i used to heat up a wire and burn myself when i was 15 - 17 yrs old. I would meditate, and get into this trance where i could ignore the pain. I think it was like an endorphin release type thing that i was hooked on. psychologically, i think it was also a reaction to my parents unhappy marriage - a strange release for frustration over a problem that i had no control of. And also a response to the realisation that the world i was in was totally fucked and operating on all the wrong motivations. another problem that i had no control over.

so why did i quit? well... i got removed from society for 2 yrs.. that helped. when i came back, i moved out and started to worry about making rent and bills and such, and my life became mine to control , and i guess that fixed it.

so can you stop? yes, but something in your life probably has to change. I think everyone who has this habit can quit eventually - it might just take a few years. In the mean time, try not to worry about things that arent in your control.

 

dude ur a dick.

i personally have never cut myself but i have close friends who have and one who still does.
some ppl are scared to seek help as they are probably worried what others will think or they simply cannot afford a psychiatrist so there not 'retarded' as u put it.

cutting or any other self harm is a way of coping emotional pain, not everyone that self harms is suicidal ya know, so there not cowards for not killing themselves.

 

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This thread could go on forever. With a bunch of dickheads trying to tell us cutters that we're freaks, some blissfully ignorant people telling us to just be happy and the rest of us telling them that its not that fucking easy.
You think we want to cut?! Man, I'd trade my scarred up arm for a fresh one in an instant but I'd only fuck it up again.
I can't stop because I would die. I'd go crazy, and no, I'm not crazy already. Mental illnesses such as depression that can result in cutting doesn't equal insanity.

Anyone who tries telling me that I'm a retard and loser, let me ask you this:
Have you ever felt so bad that you wanted to die? Have you ever swallowed pills and slept hoping that you wouldn't wake up? Have you ever been molested by a relative? Ever been scared of your own bed cos HE'S been there and he could be there again? Ever try to make your self ugly so he wouldn't want you? Thrown up meals to starve away the curves that attracted him in the first place?
Have you ever hurt so bad and been as fucking scared as I am STILL, FIVE YEARS after the molestation? I lost control of my body at age 11 when i was molested. At age 12, I took that control back, with a razor blade.
If you can answer YES to those questions, then you have the right to tell me I'm a fucked up retard, bt if not, then go fuck yourself cos if you keep acting the way you are, no one else will.
~Moro

 

moro sorry to hear about that i dont really know anything else i can say but sorry u had to go through that and i hope u get better soon.

 

hey moro, not much i can say either.. no ones life is easy, but some have it harder than others.. i hope time lets you move on eventually, and everyone else too... dont let someone elses action destroy YOUR lives. peace and love from wideyed.

 

are you a cutter? how long have you been doing it? who knows? why do you do it...

I used to cut myself, at first it was just experimental, but then i started to do it whenever my parents would piss me off or something like that. i only started in mid december and then in early january my friend lauren saw my arms and told a bunch of my other friends, the only ones who knew before lauren were my bf when i started (whyatt) and my neighbor erika. i was really pissed at lauren for telling everyone, so i started cutting myself more because of that. then the group of people lauren told ended up telling my math teacher from last year and he talked to me and then told the counselor and i had to talk to her. since everyone else knew about it, i decided to tell my new bf (kevin) in mid-january and he was all freaked out and really didn't like it. the last time i did it was about a week ago and i'm trying to stop because the scars suck. i only know of one other person who does it and it's my little sister's friend. her and my friend allison are the only people i can really talk to about it, because they're the only ones who won't judge me. well, that's pretty much my story.
peace,
pakalolo

 

"Do you cut yourself..? "

NO!! .. if i have to cut someone that would be someone else!