Do you live below, at or above your means?

Yeah both of those make sense, wasn't trying to judge anyones specific system here. Just in general though, the people that have those highly separated marriages I have to wonder what's the point of even being married. But I've never been in that situation so I don't have anything to base it on except idealism.

 

No worries about judging. It just seemed like a good system that was equal. She doesn't have the same income but she definitely would be making more than me if she continued her career after our daughter was born. But she didn't want to and that was her choice. It's not really about who makes more money though. It's just what works well for us. But dammit...if she would have kept her job I would be the one not working or working part time right now!!

 

Below, but I feel like I'm missing out.

 

Why do you feel like you're missing out? On the material objects? You probably have something that a lot of people with all the material objects wish they had.

 

His material objects too? :drummer:

 

Yeah that's true. There was a time I was homeless for months then living rent free with a gf in a foreclosed house with no working plumbing or running water, had a garden hose tapped to the house next door and made an outdoor shower. In the straight up hood falling asleep to gunshots every night, and just trying every day to come up in life and 'make it'.

Looking back I was more happy because I wasn't doing it alone, and definitely felt more free. Took more time for things like morning walks in the sun. Some things you definitely can't buy.

 

Nah man it sounds like you are doing it just right.

 

I'd say I live at...but I do have student loans that I am just not paying off right now. I'm saving to make some big investments before I give a shit about paying off loans, although I would like to eventually improve my credit. My credit isn't horrible though and my career is more important to me right now.

I have also lived below and above. I even took a vow of spiritual poverty and it was great during those times to be so disconnected from money. As for sharing money in a relationship. I really don't like that. Maybe I've just had some bad situations, I kinda feel like I was idealistic and took the brunt of the financial stuff most of the time. I probably just had bad taste. I don't know if I would do it again...but I feel like I want to take more precautions and possibly keep things separate next time. I've given up too much of my financial power before, partially because I love being a free spirit and not having to think about the way money flows at all, but it's been nice, since I've been single to kinda gain that power back.

 

Ok, I understand some couples need to make things equal. I personally don't see the point in splitting things up because whats his is mine and whats mine is his. I feel that divvying things up equally, and having separate savings is almost acknowledging the fact you will likely split up one day. I do everything in the mindset that we are one. With mutual respect and responsibility things work out perfectly. There are some husbands / wives who are financially abusive to their partners though. As in, spending tens of thousands of dollars in savings on redecorating the house on a whim (my friends mom did that). I also have a friend whose husband only pays down their credit cards very slowly, so that virtually none of the payment goes toward principal. This is just irresponsible and keeping them forever in debt.

Just so I'm not too off topic here, I will say we live within our means.

Its actually interesting that you created this thread today. My fiance and I had this conversation last night. He's very interested in providing as much as he can for us and our family, and one of his goals is to earn several hundred thousand in a year. While feasible, I view this as a laborious journey which I have very little interest in (I'd rather devote my time to our babies and home). The end result was me telling him I am 100% happy and content with our home if it is modest and as long as we always have whatever we need, his answer was that he wants to provide and save as much as he can so that make a more luxurious life for us. If he gets his wish, ok that'd be nice If not, I won't be sorry

 

That's a good outlook, it's nice to hear about females that are supportive either way.

And he sounds like a good guy wanting to provide for his family.

Stories like the woman spending thousands on the house without both parties agreeing on it first scare the shit out of me. That kind of stuff makes me want to be a bachelor for life. That's why I don't understand the guys that try to flaunt themselves out at bars and what not with some kind of high roller image because they are going to attract gold diggers. I've dated a few of those are they are horrible. Hood girls are my favorite. They're tough, understand the value of a dollar, loyal and don't date someone to take advantage of them.

That's the worst thing about where I live. It's the Ruth's Chris and trader joes entitlement lifestyle instead of diners and corner stores. I should move back to the hood.

 

Jeez, yeah some girls are really ridiculous like that. I do have a couple ghetto friends though, one of them does a complete interview on a guy before she sleeps with him. She ain't gettin tied down to no broke nigguhz. lol as she would say.

Anyway there are things you can do to safety net your money. I'm all about setting up a trust for our family unit. I'm a part of 2 trusts one with my mothers side and another with one of my step dads. I will have my will regularly updated once I have children. And our savings accounts will require dual signatures for withdrawals that exceed a certain threshold, you have to visit a branch with a witness etc etc blah blah.

 

I would say i am within my means. I am almost check to check but i put money away for retirement. I wont buy anything unless i have the cash. Only exception is my house and also i have 2 and a half years to go on my car.

 

Above...I make 7000 a year and I act like I make 20000

 

The first few years we were married we had his, mine and ours accounts. We each had a certain amount to put in "our" account to cover the bills then what was left over was in our separate accounts.

Eventually we put everything in one account and that has worked for us for probably the last 10+ years. We both put money in and he is usually the one that actually sits down and pays the bills. I honestly never know how much money we have. I know what we having in savings. I'm not a big shopper. I don't need or want very much so it doesn't really matter to me how much we have.

As long as we have enough to cover our bills and our little bit of social life that's all that matters to me. I paid off my student loans as soon as it was possible. That was done about 10 years ago. I celebrated a little bit when I put that last payment in the mailbox.

 

I like to think I live above mean people cause I'm better than them but who's to say

 

Most of my moneys tied up in a few investments(hooker and blow) so I live pretty frugally.

 

Not that kind of hood girl haha.

But yeah, I've been researching trusts and asset protection a lot lately because of my plans to start a business. I'm basically planning on tying up most everything in that.

 

Once hubbies business gets off the ground, we're going to tie a lot of our expenses into it for tax purposes. You should consider that too. Love the idea of my business paying for my vehicles, healthcare and other things - just means better tax breaks and more money kept in our pockets.

 

Yeah exactly. A good way to offset double taxation (corporate + income)

 

I don't give one shit about the latest fashion, a fancy car, a Michellin-starred meal or a huge mansion.
I guess I live at my means.