Do You Think You're Strong?

I do care about some people. Some close friends and stuff. And I try and do the "right thing" with most people. People who see my exterior and habits would describe me as pretty "warm", then later on maybe call me detached in some ways. The problem with caring about people in the more complete sense, is that there's no guarantee of any sincerity being reciprocated. Pre-empting shit.

As for strength in shit situations, I'm like one of those boxers. I can be punched round the head all day. I won't go down, but some might say it'd be better if I did.

 

Kitty is my wife

 

Now, I understand. Thanks for answering.

 

I'm sure it wouldn't be better if you did.

 

Our situation besides what was stated above is this. Our current son has a rare genetic disease called myotubular myopathy. Essentially it is a muscular disease that means his muscles didn't form correctly during gestation and as such he cannot walk, cannot talk, can barely move his arms, has very limited coordination, and can barely handle breathing on his own. He has a tracheotomy and is on a ventilator 95% of each day. He also drools excessively and due to his weak coughing ability those secretions tend to pool in his lungs making him exceptionally prone to pneumonia and the like. We have a nurse who stays 8-9 hours a day and helps with his care but when she is not there such as on the weekends we have to stay home and watch him all day. One has to be licensed by the docs to care for him so regular sitters are a no go. Also this disease is incurable and passed directly from mother to child with a 60% chance or so of the males being like our son. Females can only be carriers.

 

Did what?

I meant this "bend don't break" shit. I've never understood that one. OK I understand pragmatisim, the bigger picture. But thats a different concept to me.

 

I knew your writing style was familiar, but seeing your pic and reading this I realized who you are.
why the new profile, Indy?


(can't fathom the inner strength needed to face what you two have. I can't imaging losing one of my children.)

 

Forgot the pass to the old one and to the email to get it redone lol. Guess someone besides morrow or MVW had to notice eventually. Been a lot going on so much just fell to the wayside these forums included

 

LOL, I've forgotten a few passwords in my time.
on the plus side, I know you had mentioned you weren't happy about the connotations your previous youthfully chosen username elicited.

 

I'm sorry for your losses. I think losing a child is definitely an atypical trauma, there is no other loss like it. I remember when my friend lost her teenage son last year I thought she showed an inner strength that I dont possess myself. Hundreds of people came to his visitation and she stood by his casket for hours and hugged, cried, and even laughed with every single person who came. There is no way I could do that. I would be hiding somewhere, going insane with grief. And I'm sure she was on the inside, but outwardly she seemed so strong.

But aoabai - to answer your question - i've thought about this before, I think about it every day to be honest (i have issues) and there are dozens of scenarios I can think of where I would rather die than go through them.

But who knows if it really happened to me, ya know? I dont feel strong, but at the same time if youre kid
napped and sold into sexual slavery or whatever other scenario we can dream up, what choice do you have but to survive and keep on keeping on?

The instinct for self preservation is stronger than most of us can probably imagine.

 

I cannot even imagine the heartbreak you suffer on a daily basis. I am so sorry to read about this here........I am sad about this. Is Kitty Crusader your wife? if so, I miss her. She has friends here.

 

Yes kitty is my wife and she's still around from time to time

 

nope, i don't think i'm strong. but i'm proud of being strange.

 

i don't think anyone can really say with any degree of accuracy how they would respond to extremely hypothetical situations like sex slavery or whatever. everyone has a thought about how they would react, but until they are actually there, it's impossible to know.

i've never been in any situations that crazy, but i know i've surprised myself a few times when place in unusual situations, in both good and bad ways.

 

How did your other two children passed away, if you don't mind me saying?

 

Sadly, a lot of parents lose their children. So, I don't personally think it's an atypical situation. But, to lose more than one in one lifetime, or have them all be born sick... that to me is rare.

 

I already know the limit of my strength, or lack of. So, I already know I wouldn't be strong and survive it.

I was thinking of all these out there situations last night. And I was just like, NOPE. Poke a fork in me I'm done. Lol!

 

That story can be found in my thread Grin and Barrett

 

You mean like, am I capable of butchering my neighbors and processing them into racks of smoked meats in order to survive an agricultural apocalypse? Yeah sure, I'm thinking of collecting some supplies soon. I wonder how long mustard stays good for anyway?

 

You can always buy dry mustard – after all you don’t want to let a small thing like mustard stand in your way from going all cannibal and shit

BTW the edible parts of the human body contain approximately 81,500 calories so either share the spoils of the hunt or buy a small freezer


Hotwater