Donating Blood (merged)

It's more frustrating maybe here because, apart from the blood thing, that mostly isn't the way things are in the UK. It's a blip in a country that is, for the most part, at least heading in the right direction, and it just seems ridiculous that it's not been fixed already.

 

I like my blood in my veins.

 

Somehow I think practicality overrides your feelings of hurt self-worth.

 

I hate needles, don't you?

 

Very true. I was genuinely shocked the first time I went to give blood, and the form said I couldn't just because I've had sex with another man. It's not the kind of thing I expected to encounter in the slightest.

 

I see good points on both sides. There are valid moral reasons for choosing to lie or choosing not to give blood. It really is up to the individual on this one, IMO.

On the one hand, people need blood all the time, and it's kinda selfish to withhold something just so you don't have to feel bad about lying. At one time I used to lie and give blood anyway, because I felt that was the correct moral choice. I still kinda feel that way in some ways.

But I have a life partner and children and family now. I denied being gay for years and was semi in the closet for awhile, and I've lost my taste for hiding. When I got fired from my job 3 days after coming out to the boss, I decided I was never going to deny it or try to hide it again to anybody for any reason. If I have any questions at all about how I would fit into a company as an openly gay man, I will bring it up myself in the job interview. I'd rather not get the job than go through that humiliation again.

So even though it's kinda messed up, I'd rather not lie and not give blood. I just don't even try, so I don't have to see the form in the first place.

And Sam's got a point. You could be putting yourself at risk for legal action by lying, though it's probably not likely.

 

I guess if you have a family you can always give your kids' blood.

 

I apologize in advance for not reading the rest of the thread before replying to this.. I just had a comment I didn't want ot forget. It had to do with the comment to self control about "your pride vs. safety"- I agree with self control here.... and I don't think it has anything to do with pride. The only good reason I could see to lie is if you are 100 percent sure your blood is safe. And yes, many gay people can say that. I mean, there is such a blood shortage... they NEED blood- if you have used protection, had limited sexual partners, been tested, etc.- what is it really their business your sexual orientation? I'm sorry but I don't think it has to do with pride so much, but really has to do with wanting to help and knowing yourself and your situation and knowing if your blood is safe. It's not rocket science and if everyone was responsible, maybe it wouldnt be an issue.

Anyways I'll read the rest of the thread now...

 

Okay... sam, first it's not so much about gay rights vs. pride but more "these people need blood. is my blood defiantly clean?" PERIOD. That's all there is to it.

I mean I'm a bi female who's been with a male and female this year and I give blood every two to three months. I, for obvious reasons, don't have the same restrictions as gay males but I have lied before when I gave blood, about the question "are you a female who has had sex in the last seven years with a male that has had sex with another male?" (that would disqualify me)

Well, yes, I did. I also has tested twice for hiv and other blood-borne diseases-once and then 8 months later with no sexual contact other then my husband during that time.

Know what? I don't feel bad. My blood is and was clean and I knew that. It's not about LYING or GAY RIGHTS... not to me. I give blood because there are people out there dying that NEED blood and so many people that can give blood and don't do it for one reason or another, mainly not really caring.

So, just tell me why I should feel bad for helping someone when I knew I was safe to help? Many of us can police ourselves.


ps- I agree that giving blood isn't about gay rights- it has NOTHING to do with sexuality at all. It has to do with helping others if you have blood that is clean. Period.

 

Sorry, but this is a ridiculous debate. Pride is irrelevent. It's not even a matter of putting pride before public safety. After all, screening does exist. But it is neither the individual's right, nor responsibility, to determine what the health services need, could do or should do. Are we doctors? If the need for blood necessitates a relaxation of the law, then the law should be relaxed. This isn't even a matter for homosexual men anymore. What makes one individual feel that their personal situation is above that of society? It seems to me, Self Control, that you're intent to lie to give blood to prove a point, rather than for the sake of giving blood itself. It's not the way to make change. Change happens partly through collective action and mobilisation. As Samhain said, going under the radar is not going to help anything - except to make you feel a little better about yourself. But is that really the right reason to be doing it?

 

EDITED I can't give blood without lying, so I've got the option of lying or not giving blood. My collossal ego isn't any more of a factor than anyone else's would be.

EDIT: And this:

is ridiculous. It's not arrogant to assume that, if the health service is holding a blood drive, it's because they need blood.

EDITED BY Samhain due to personnal attacks

 

Please conduct yourself with due decorum. If you disagree with me, fine. If you want to debate with me, all the better. I would welcome that. But saying 'Fuck you' and 'dick' are not the way to go about it. I'm not your enemy, I'm sympathetic to your cause. Insulting me just cheapens your argument. You move from attacking my position, which is a legitimate thing to do, to attacking me. In doing so, you've already broken two forum guidelines. So here, I'm appealing for calm and reason....

 

It doesn't cheapen it any more than your complete failure to offer any kind of rebuttal cheapens yours. You can insist that I'm a self-obsessed asshole for wanting to donate blood as long as you like, you'll just look 10% more EDITED each time.

 

I have sent out a warning to anyone that I feel is attacking anyone else on this thread, its fine to disagree, but stop the flaming.
further more if this continues, I will just assume that people are incapable of discussing this subject in an adult manner and I'll just close the thread
S

 

unless I've missed something, the only person that is useing those kinds of terms to describe you is yourself.
people may strongly disagree with you but no ones been insulting you
S

 

The fact is blood banks cut corners. I also think there is a little perverse mentality out there that thinks if they receive homo blood they'll change over. Says a lot for their personal identity and how secure they feel with it doesn't it?

 

The implication was that I wanted to give blood through my own selfish desire to prove a point. The fact that it was made repeatedly, without any kind of actual explanation or evidence... it's kinda like if I accused you of only being interested in gay rights to get laid, you know?

 

so why didn't you just say what you just did in the first place, the way you have responded on this thread the last couple of times is unaccpetable
S

 

It was made once, though I never accused you of arrogance or egotism. I was assessing your argument from what you have presented here. Please, if you feel it's an unfair assessment, feel free to elaborate your position.

 

selfcontrol, I apologise if you feel that any of my remarks that have been directed at you on this thread caused you any offense.
I would also point out that while people where judging you on what you have said about this issue, I don't believe anyone was making any judgements about your personality, we can't because we don't know you
S