Dude, where's my _____ ?

Just being connected to the mains

Dude: Where's my stress ball?

 

It’s three centimeters (cm) to the left of your other stress ball.

Dude, Where’s my Access Card

 

Cut up and left on the floor - as it was declined

Dude: where's my nearest Witch Doctor?

 

You rang,m'lord?

...Dude,where have all the dinosaurs gone???

 

west of edin.

dwm next can of chicken noodle soup?

 

China?

Dude: Where's my old school tie?

 

Depends-does one refer to Eton,which we true scholars attended-or that scruffy little Harrow place,where the 'also-ran's pretended to have intelligence?

Dude; what is the point of wearing a cravat???

 

One believes it can indicate that one has decorum and etiquette

Dude: where's my lawnmower?

 

Ah...errm...well,y'know that cat you USED to have....oops...
Dude;where have all the 'actually worth seeing' films gone?

 

Most have been archived or lie in the hands of the Independent artist's network -either way - they are 'Underground'

Dude: where's my Musical bookmark?

 

between the pages of your popcheat music charts book.

dwm: key to the t.a.r.d.i.s.

 

The Gallifrey locksmiths shop - (I'm getting a spare cut)

Dude: where's my Sonic screwdriver?

 

Ah;I forgot to mention I'm having it re-tuned to 'Drop D' as a treat/thanks for your excellent contributions!

Dude: how come buses run on time,yet trains invariably run late?

 

Apparently you’re not smarter than the average bear, or you would know the answer to that question.

Dude, Where’s my Halloween mask from last year?

 

I guess "in a jar by the door"?

Dude Where my joke book?

 

Ask hotwater-for t'was he that stole all your totally hilarious punchlines!

Dude;WHY,do bother rescuing idiots,when I know full-well they're undeserving of so much as a nano-peck of sympathy???
[and in most cases deserve the ill fortune they bring upon themselves]

 

That's the kinda guy I am
.
Dude: Where's my National flag, it needs a good cleaning