End of life, what are your preferences?

Thank you very much. That's very nice of you. I know you had a similar situation with your mom.

 

I missed this. Hahaha!

 

I am so sorry, expanse....

 

Thank you Moonglow181. I appreciate that. I know from a couple of posts that you lost your mom sometime in the last few years. I remember the post you made in April about the anniversary of the last time you saw her. My family and I did not really have a hard time in this situation. My dad had been suffering for quite a while and is much better off.

Any time we hear of a person passing on I think we should take that as a reminder to start working on preparations - even on preparing how to die.

 

Sorry to hear about your loss... Seems he's in a place with no pain though. Hope your Mom can cope with the loss as well. Gotta be hard....

 

Thank you very much Tyrsonswood, my mom is fine. I know other people here have gone through so much worse.

This thread is a good reminder to think about such things in depth. I know what I need to think about doing at the first signs of any condition that could lead to my being totally dependent on someone else for everthing. I will go off into the mountains for a long hike.

 

expanse, I still feel badly and want to rep you again when I can. I need to spread some more around first....to rep you again
Yes, my dad was suffering for awhile, too. He was a chemist, too, during his life, and worked with paints.....and that is how we thought he got his cancer. He lived with it for a very long time. The last couple of years of his life were pathetic, so I was really relieved for him, when he did die. I was sad, too, of course...The last few months of his life he spent being shuffled back and forth between a nursing hme and a hospital.

I do share what you are going through, as well.:grouphug:

 

Moonglow181, I feel bad that you had to go through that. It's hard to see a loved one in pain, especially for a long time.

Thank you for your kind words. :grouphug:

 

My sympathy for all who have lost loved ones.

The advantage to planning out end of life is that it helps to ease the situation for those who may have to make decisions at a time when you can not.

I made my wishes known 7 years ago when faced with it being time to do so. I do not intend to have my life prolonged past a time where I have a quality of life. I will accept medication for pain as I am not intending to be a martyr and I will accept hydration as without that it is rather miserable at the end.

In working with peer groups the one issue that keeps coming up is that many people are reluctant to discuss what they want and that puts the onus on a family to make a decision that is logical at a very emotional time. Having your wishes known and discussing them before the time comes lifts a huge burden from those you love when the time comes.

 

My wife says that one of the biggest challenges working in health care is the pressure to convince everyone that they should want to live, even if their quality of life is extremely poor. She has trouble trying to talk a 92 year old living with severe chronic pain, who needs assistance with eating/washing/getting out of bed, into wanting to keep trying to "get better".