Ever stolen anything?

hahah you want a story?

hmm.. i was stealing with my friends at a stupid girly store.. and i had snuck like 50 bucks worth or things (usually im like a master thief) and then my friends had snuck a few smaller things.. then we were just about to leave- and this guy taps on my friends shoulder and he is was, (in french) hey little miss, are you going to pay for what you have?" and so my friend was lie freaking out and he started bitching at her and me and my other friend. so finally i yelled at him and i was like, " ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, SHUT UP! YOU HAVE MADE YOUR POINT- its getting sorted out and you are jsut a random person who happens to have acused us-" and then he was like spitting in my face and he was like, "OKAY OKAY YOU WANNA SEE MY ID? BAM THERE"- and he shoves this corny 'arden secret undercover agent thing' which i seriously thought was just a bunch of bullshit and he was like "IM AN UNDERCOVER AGENT FOR ARDEN SO DON"T MESS WITH ME- YA YA YA" and i was like, going to burst out laughing but whatever.. i was todl him back"okay so you have prove your point and you have proved us what you are. now i understand" adn he was like frigging pmsing at us...

so then the police came, oh- and meanwhile, i was supposed to be singing at this place in like 1 our and i still needed to get home and change. so the police came, and i just confessed and i was like "okay this is realyl stupid. i stole this and here just do what you have to do. " and the secret undercover agent person was like laughing his ass off... argh.. i was never so ashamed of myself. totally embarassed. and these immiture guys were like watching the whole thing and were yelling out "SHOPLIFTERS SHOPLIFTER SHOPLIFTERS" and no body did anything.. and they made me confess to my parents which was a real nightmare.. i'll never forget the look on my step dads face.. or the tone of his voice on the phone.

the fights that preceeded were the worst that i had ever experienced in my life.

 

You got busted by a rent-a-cop? harsh

*not judging*

 

I've never stolen anything. Well that's not exactly true, I have taken soaps and shampoos from hotel rooms but I don't think that counts. I'm too fuckin' paranoid to steal anything. Plus the fact with my luck I KNOW I'd get busted. When I was a kid my friends always had me be the look-out. I'd give 'em a signal if I thought they were about to get busted.

 

And then there was the restaurant, a fancy little bistro where I worked as a line cook.
We were borderline kleptomaniacs.. we stole bowls, plates, french-knives and cheesecakes. We'd walk out with frozen lobsters and steaks under our aprons.

Once we tried taking shots from the bottles of alcohol (labeled COOKING ONLY) near
the spice shelf, only to take a big pull from the bottle.... THE HEAD CHEF HAD POURED SALT IN ALL THE ALCOHOL INTENDED FOR COOKING.
See, for cooking the salt makes no difference.. but you try and drink some Jack Daniels spiked with SALT....and it doesn't go down.. it gets SPRAYED OUT.

Chef caught us and made us pay 5.50 each, the price of a shot.
For salted liqour. Cos we were stupid.

I stole my apron when they fired me.
My friend poured mushroom soup on the steak grill on his way out.

 

I usually "accidentally" knock a box of something that looks tasty to the ground, then "accidentally" step on it. Oops.

 

Hah nice, you know the system!

Management tried to crack down by threatening to do receipt checks
when they see you going for lunch with store merchandise.

So you just carry the same receipt with you and hold it on the box in plain view as you hurry to the back room with a look on your face that says "damn I'm in a hurry and spent 10 minutes of my break in line".

 

i got caught stealing a pack of spider man cards from a local hobby shop. it ended my streak, me and my friends had robbed the place for hundreds of dollars of magic cards, singles, and a whole box of packs once. all this was in middle school, heh

 

stealing is great, as long as you steal from the right places. corporate stores are the best places to steal from, family owned places are not good to steal from...you gotta be ethical about it.

 

yeah totally... i was so ashamed. he made an ass out of me and i was like.. umm.. 13 or 14.

are cops allowed to be so rude and pushy with younger people? like are they allowed to taunt them and ease them and yell in their faces in public?

 

depends on the individual snout factor of the rent-a-cop.
I used to taunt them, and the undercover shoppers in department stores
Up here in Canada, at least they're easy to spot.
Well dressed French-Canadians shuffling through the racks, staring at people.
You keep asking them for their opinion on anything you pick up and you follow them
thru the store and watch how pissed off they get until they finally ask you to leave
the store, and then realise they've blown their cover.

Mall Cops watch too many cop dramas seriously.

 

hm.. i think im going to keep all those things you've said in mind next time i go shoppig.

 

steal what you need and burn the rest.

 

at my school they refill the snack and soda machines almost daily so one day during my lunch period me and my friend rich stole three boxes of welches grape 20 oz bottles we run down the hallway with this old spanish lady who was fillin the machine just screamin at us she didnt even speak english she went to a teacher and starts babblin at him we stopped for about 10 secs and watched this shit it was so funny man im smacked right now

 

I rip off walmart all the time..and I've stolen bacardi silver a few times thats about it..

 

I used to steal shit ALL the time. But stupid stuff like this will prolly make you laugh. I was probably 9 or 10 and I was in Home Depot with my dad and I wanted this pair of ear plugs that ur supposed to ear when u mow the lawn and such. Hw wouldn't buy them so I told him I was going off to look at stuff and he went to the cash register and I popped them out of the package and took them. I once stole $90 dollars from one of my mom's friend's mom's. We were all at my Grandpa's condo at Myrtle, Beach SC. I wanted osme money to buy fireworks and I on;y had like 7 bucks. I opened her purse when I wsa there alone (they had left to go watch the sunrise on the beach and let me sleep in.) I Opened her wallet and there was like $500 so I took out a 20 and thought what the heck and then grabbed a 50 and another 20. I regret it now bcz she was cool as fuck. She was in the peace corps and all and was struck by lightening twice and lived. But thats pretty much all I've ever stolen.

 

yes.....why? did the fuzz question you about me?

hey, that man was dead when I got there!

 

hah.. the gum balls.

My bro and I were like 6 and 8 at a kids amusement park one summer and one of us found a quarter and we put it in one of the gum ball machines near the entrance, and twisted the handle the wrong way by accident.
The handle broke and started turning backwards and giving out free gum balls. So we stopped after our mouths were full and ran out to the family station wagon, found two shoeboxes and a backpack, then ran back inside. We cleaned the entire machine out of gum balls and threw our loot in the tailgate end of the station wagon, then went back in and enjoyed the rest of our day, with our pockets full of gumballs and the park staff scratching their heads around the gum ball machine.

That stash lasted us for about a week.
And started the giant gum-ball on a string.
but mom threw that out eventually.

 

Every time I go to the 24 hour Wal-Mart at night/in the early morning, I steal a green rubber band off of the rubber band balls they have in the office supplies department. I'm horrible, i know. Also, when I was in seventh grade, a friend and I stole a condom from this random convenience store. Just one. We could have gotten the whole box but we were dumbasses.

This is kind of off-topic, but I applied to Family Dollar and the interview was the other day and they had this "honesty test" which had questions like "Have you ever stolen from the workplace?" and I've never had a job so obviously I said no... I "failed" even though I was completely honest. Oh well.

 

No juicy stories here... Did the 'gotta try everything once' thing when I was a kid, dunno what age, maybe 8 or 10 or so? Nicked a small card with four or five buttons that I thought were pretty but my mom wouldn't let me have 'cause she said what would I want them for.. It was just to see if I could do it but afterwards I was afraid to use them even or show them to anyone... what good are a few pretty buttons in a bottom drawer? And my friend and me nicked a few extra dimes sometimes when we were allowed to get like a dollar's change from our moms' purse to buy candy, also like when I was eight.. stupid really, we had plenty, just the stuff kids do I suppose.

After that I've only nicked pens and pencils by accident, I usually carry my own so when I've forgotten and have to ask for one in the store I put it in my bag out of habit... doesn't happen often and sometimes I forget a pen or pencil somewhere too, I suppose it evens out eventually. One stupid incident though, when I was visiting a friend I hadn't seen it for a while I'd also taken a pencil after writing something down, and he missed it -'cept for some reason I was embarrassed and denied I had it... Almost at the same moment I said I didn't, I realised that was really, really silly -doesn't everyone pocket a pen or pencil or lighter sometimes by mistake? But of course at that time I'd already said no so it would look even more embarrasing if I returned it, so I stuck to saying no... He knew I had it too... it was just a pencil and it didn't even start out intentional but it is still a really stupid & embarrasing memory... especially 'cause I was just over once visiting this old friend and now he probably thinks I turned into some dishonest thief instead of a (sometimes at least ) socially clumsy oaf

 

there's this little chain of gas stations round here that are soooo easy to steal alcohol from. . . you just walk in, grab, walk out. . . its amazing. . . haha

but yah, i think im becomin a clepto. i have never stolen from a locally owned business however. . . only from big companies such as target, walmart, or racist/facist bitches like five-n-dime.