Fellow Stoners Congratulate Me-

i,m in blair county work is ill here at best..

 

:love: oh thank you so much for your kind response and compassion! thank god the ordeal is over! I signed myself out against the facilitiy's advice this past weekend, and while I AM happy I have been successfully weaned off benzos to which I didn't have an addiction (to which I never enjoyed, just doped me up and haad to make me smoke like 4 times more pot than I had to normally to get high) The place was a nightmare. And like you said, you cannot deny someone their chemistry, what works for one will NOT work for another!! your wisdom and unjudgmental kindness is soooo appreciated!!

 

exactly why i smoke weed. fuckin hell i sort of resinated when i read that.

 

I had to go through that intervention for weed smoking crap when I was 15. I was locked up in rehab for 2 months and had to attend several AA/NA meetings a week.

That shit sucked, the only thing it did was teach me to be sneakier about it.

SC, you should get your own place then no one will ever be able to pull an intervention on you again.

 

one my younger friend was tossed in rehab. Actually I told his parent to send him there.. he was dependent on more than weed, but weed also...

so hes in the rehab calling me, telling me, "you know I tried to tell them how useful cannabis is, and they dont listen".

And I said.. "Listen to them, shut up and youll get to come home and smoke weed again" that he did and left in a few days..

he was and still is addicted to meth, so whatever he was preaching how useful weed is, he didnt actually buy the message himself..

 

That's sad about the meth, I'm not judging anyone but lets just say i have never done meth, and as Ive mentioned plenty of times, uppers are just like, hell for me. In fact, the only thing that was great about my short stint in rehab was i was FINALLY tapered off of my prescribed benzos, something i have been wanting for so long! I have never had a high nor addiction/craving to them, and in fact all they really did was lower my tolerance to the point I started considering opiates, and that was when things got messy.

Now that I am benzo free and back on pot, and reconnected with myself I am truly in a clear state of mind and learning my triggers with PTSD:

for example- I am staying off that incest topic board from this evening on- I realize one of my biggest triggers is standing up for victims of sexual abuse, and when ppl response rudely or flippantly to my responses it is a trigger for me, bc I know how many years of damage unresolved trauma did to me and how I recreated the trauma through risky, abusive sex- I have a tattoo of Frank Booth from David Lynch's Blue Velvet to remind me of that every day of my life, and I am just at the point now where I am learning to face it.

I finally have a compassionate therapist and psychiatrist who are willing to work with me

I am structuring my time

I am buying RAID and MACE in case any AA/NA ppl show up at my door :2thumbsup:

 

its fine if you can get pot... See how slick the system is to prevent such medicine, When its much easier to reach for a pill. They want it that way.. The politicians are all pill poppers too. There is no way every one them human beings isnt on some form of medication.. This is true sorcery at its finest.

 

yessiree...that ^ is a damn fact!

 

no.. they are just gay and like poppers

 

So, S.C., what is the plan for the near future?

Have you spoken to your psychiatrist and seen what he has to say about this, as well as any ideas for new medicines? How has your Bipolar been lately? You mentioned that they took you down off of the benzo (Valium, right?). Has that increased your anxiety levels alot? Are you still on Effexor? Also, have you resumed smoking Cannabis or do you plan on not doing so for the near future?

I can only imagine how out of whack your psychiatric state must be after such an awful experience. I just hope your mood is stable enough to make it through the next month or so until your psychiatrist can work on your meds.

Keep us informed, as you can count on our small community to be supportive and at least UNDERSTAND some of what you are going through, which clearly your therapist and parents do not.

 

When I went to rehab in 2006 to kick my heroin problem once and for all, there were a TON of kids in there who were only in there for marijuana. It's a joke, the way it works. If anything, I hope the kids that came in there for only pot, got a glimpse of the horrors of real addiction. There were kids in there that told me they were addicted to pot. I told them to fuck themselves, because they are too dumb to even smoke pot.

 

ROFL well the rehab i went to seemed to center on bored rich housewife alcoholics, however, your comment's hilarious b/c the whole time I'm there, I am feeling like DAVE CHAPELLE in the scene when he goes to that NA mtg to make his gf happy! so exactly I know exactly what you mean, and it's an insult to the type of addiction you encountered!

 

my dear etkearne,

well thank god Im off the valium- it was genuinely cutting out my pot high and I was just kinda just taking it like a robot, thankfully, without the benzos, slowly tapering my effexor down, beginning lamictal and keeping my topomax the same, and now with my pot back in my life, but less, i'm monitoring it more, i respect the power of its psychological dependence, and the yearning to want to STAY in the transcendant state, but now I stay lucid and face my emotions and have also found these very spiritual moments where the two merge, and my parents , after seeing my condition upoh returing, (lost 15 pounds in a week and was in seriously bad shape) and my therapist agreed to stay out of my business on that subject and focus strictly on my PTSD and Bipolar II. And I think these med changes will help, bc the doc did say that effexor is horrible for ppl w bipolar ii

 

I was eighteen years old. . . and in the "great state of Alabama," you are still legally a minor at eighteen. You become an "adult" at nineteen, so when I went to rehab, I got stuck in the kid's wing. Couldn't smoke my cigarettes while I was there. It was awful. So, I was in there with a couple of thirteen year olds, but most of them were in the 15-16 range. . . but it was still annoying. I was in college. The only one. Everyone else was in high school and middle school. I've never liked being around people my age. I find people my age to be really immature, especially when I was younger. I've always been overly mature for my age. . . and I had the worst time in rehab. (1) Kicking the heroin habit was the worst part, and (2) I had to deal with these stupid fucking children who were all like, "Oooohhhhhh, I do drugs. I'm so bad ass. I smoke weed. I'm just the coolest person in the world." I fucking hate it when people do that shit. . .

Na-na-na-nahhhh. . . sorry. That story totally turned into a rant. I'm high. Just rambling on, discussing an uncomfortably memorable time in my life, lol.