Fuck buddy confusing me

In all fairness, *not fucking people over and/or sneaking around behind backs* is pretty far on the basic end of shit you just know.

You both were being sneaky and encouraging each other sneakiness, instead of dealing with all of your actual problems.

*Not avoiding the REAL problem and/or distracting to not deal* happens to also be on the basic end of shit you just know.

Experience can fuck us up and make us bend our morals. The problem here is, we're on a forum where we see what other people have to say. At no point as far as I can see have you suggested *maybe this was a little wrong*.

You honestly think blatant lies and sneaking around in order to ignore a collapsing marriage involving children could ever possibly be defended??

 

No, but again you can never understand. Not even close.

 

You're an idiot too sammiewammie....he doesn't have a girlfriend. He wants one. Jeez, you are all just out of kindergarten. Quit thinking you can give advice.

 

Ok, fair enough that you asked for opinions and then shut everyone out furiously. How about next time you're inclined to make a post like this, asking for serious feedback-- don't!

Then everyone's happy

 

Serious feedback? Ok whatever. I will read it, but it won't help, and I just make sure you know it.

 

how the hell does that make me an idiot? and in the post you stated that he didnt want his "girlfriend" finding out. how am i supposed to know what the quotes mean? you asked a question and as CherokeeMist stated, you cant just shut out the answers you dont like.

 

It's not about what I don't like, it's about what is accurate and insightful, neither of which either of you know. The progression of the whole story went way beyond the gf he had in the beginning but apparently it was too much for you to keep track of.

 

keep track of? i didnt go through every comment kiddo, i just read what YOU wrote and then commented. if its not accurate or insightful then that is your fault for not initially stating the facts.

 

Perhaps you could work on how to emphasize the important parts.

Honestly, you were kinda throwing us vague information and the original post stopped four months ago.

Be specific, with details, in posts that you want to take seriously.

But don't just curl up if you hear something you don't like.

 

OK, I accept complete responsibility that you're an idiot.

 

Curl up???? WTF? It's not that I don't like what you say, it's that you aren't explaining his behavior, you're only judging me.

 

define idiot? maybe i was not properly informed however i find name calling to be offensive.

 

An idiot is someone that is offended by name calling but then says stuff like this "get a boyfriend you whore". Oh wait....idiot hypocrite.

 

Explaining his behavior would only feed your need to put expectations and structure on him. Expectations and structure are what bludgeon FWB to a mushy mess.

We aren't talking about his behavior because that's not the main issue here. Wanting to understand his mind and what he thinks of your interactions should be the last thing from your mind.

So tell us, what has changed in these four months? You're asking for help and not providing too many seeds...

 

you lead me to believe you were a whore. im not taking that back because if you were sleeping around with another persons man, you would definitely deserve a slap. im offended by the word idiot because my brother has downs syndrome and is called many things for it. now seriously you need to just better explain.

 

Right on!

Our heads and our information (which are 100% your responsibility to provide) are in four months ago.

Things have changed since then, no?

Stop being so defensive and insulting and start explaining to us what is happening NOW.

 

A few posts up you'll see our last interlude was early June. So the sex part is over, (for now) but it was cordial and without drama, but not much clarity. I had to think a lot about why he was doing what he was doing and really listen to what he said when I was over. It was up to me to piece it together. After I started this thread I met with him 3 more times, and while fun and good, he was using attachment words. He's lonely, he wants a gf, and I'm not available. I was getting phased out. We are still in touch, and I think we'll have a few more sessions, but it'll take time.

 

Don't insult and you won't get defensive. Don't judge and you won't be receive insults. I can better explain but please also work on your reading comprehension.

 

you are asking me not to judge but want me to judge the situation. and my comprehension had nothing to do with the description. generally speaking, you don't have to read the rest of the comments before posting your own, this situation is genuinely uninteresting to me but youre description does describe the situation as one in which you sneak around trying to make sure his girlfriend doesnt read the texts, if it said that just a man whom you hold a no strings attached relationship with started acting up, i would not have commented.

cheers.

 

Yeah it will take time. Dragging it out will likely make it more difficult for you to escape the situation completely, though, be wary of that.

Out of curiosity, what are your current motivations and points of focus? How are things with your husband and kids, and work and money and all?