Fuck it!

you're probably an honest and loyal person yourself, or else would not expect that from others.....it's a bummer that you feel these people leave you for "someone better"

if you strive to be the best you can be, one can never leave you for someone better, simply someone different

 

AutumnsMoonChild - There are men out there who are kind, tender and loyal and great lovers. Perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of man, and subconsciously are drawn to cads who are not really interested in you as a person but just a roll in the hay. Try dating a man who you might not be attracted to initially - instead of the great looking guy with killer abs, try the tall, skinny shy guy with glasses. He may turn out to be a diamond in the rough (skinny guys often make the best lovers). There is no way you can tell who will be a good lover until you get him in bed, although checking out his moves on the dance floor may give you a hint.

Your relationship with your father may subconsciously shape the kind of man you are looking for, for better or worse. If this is an issue, see a psychiatrist.

Also, check out a dating website like Match.com or Eharmony.com. You can state what you are looking for in a man, and communicate by email with him before you ever meet. That way, you can get to know his insides before you get to know his outside. These dating websites often cut through the hit or miss dating game and draw together two people who are well matched - soulmates. One word of caution - those pictures posted on the website may be 20 years old, and the stud you see pictured may be fat and bald now.

 

Thanks for the advice but uh, I believe you and everyone else has it all wrong. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everyone's imput, but clearly,it is useless.

First off, who ever said I was looking for a man? All my recent misfortunes this year have been with LADIES.

Secondly...I'm not the least bit attracted to 'great looking' guys with 'killer abs' at all...and you talk about this like I'm pissed about sex...this isn't about sex...I don't care if someone is great in bed or not...this is the TRUE LOVE forum,not the "Is this guy great in bed or what?" forum.

Third, I am not subconciously attracted to men like my father. I don't know anyone who would be, unless they are attracted to sociopaths.

I'm not straight,okay?

And I mean what I said. Fuck love.

 

Some people are just lucky...

 

Actually if you were subconsciously attracted to your father, I think an outsider would have to judge your actions and how you act around certain male or female personalities. Who said a dad can't be feminine also? Either way the subconscious means that it's not really conscious in the first place. Naturally people may feel disgusted at the thought, but have actions that suggest otherwise.

Anyway, sorry about your angst. Maybe one day you'll make it to the middle of the rainbow.

 

Middle of the rainbow...? I don't get it.

No, my dad isn't feminine and I'm not attracted to sociopathic females. I have never dated anyone near resembling his personality. And I don't have actions that suggest it otherwise.

 

Your personal section says nothing about you being lesbian, and your post does not indicate that your love problems were with another woman, so pardon the error.

These discussions are looked at by a lot of people around the world, and perhaps someone has gotten something positive from what has been said here even if you did not.

And the same logic might apply to you, if you substitute "skinny girl" for "skinny guy" and "Mother" for "father". The problem may not be with the women you have been with, but who you are attracted to in the first place.

 

I'm sorry to be harsh. I'm just frustrated. I agree with you,maybe your advice has helped someone else. I really truly hope it has,or will. That would be great. My personal page indicates that I am bisexual. Which technically means that one is romantically attracted to both genders. Unless you are speaking sexually...but in my case, I am not.

I have not once dated someone for their looks. Everyone I have dated I have been friends with first. But,for me, this has nothing to do with sex at all. Or the way someone looks. I have dated skinny girls,chubby girls, tall girls,short girls, normal height and weight girls...etc. of all different face structures and different hair colours,different breast size...I am not the least bit superficial when it comes to LOVE. Yet, I have failed in every relationship. Left every time. For a better girl,or a guy.

 

do they tell you "i'm leaving you for someone better", or is that your personal impression/perception?

i truly am bummed for you - it's a sucky way to feel

 

Indeed. If they are leaving me for someone else, they must be someone better...that is what I think anyways...because if I were good enough, they would stay with me.

 

Your problem appears to be with your own self image. You have low self esteem, which can often be helped by talking with a psychiatrist about your problem. And from your posts, you seem to be someone who has the self will to overcome this problem.

 

try not to be so hard on yourself - just because they leave, it does not mean they're leaving for someone better - that is your own perception, and you have the ability to change it......it could simply mean that you are too good for them, and you make them realize they deserve someone less than you, and that you deserve better than they

they likely left because in the grand scheme of things, they were not the best person for you in your life at that time - try not to see yourself as a victim of the cruel Fates.....if you are honest, giving, loving and nonjudgemental, then you are creating karma that will come back to you at the perfect time in the perfect ways

all you can do is to be true to yourself, and try not to give a damn how other people behave, try not to take it personally to the point it affects who you are and how you think and feel - that is their problem

 

someone's been reading their high school health textbook! This kind of dry thinking is exactly the kind of advice that people DON'T use... and for good reasons!

 

chronic...the problem may well involve self-esteem (i don't know if that's the "whole" problem, but it could involve it!). what's wrong with the advice given?

 

Chronic - I don't read high school textbooks, but advanced degree textbooks, and evaluate such posts from many discussions with people with similar problems over many years. Ahh, to be 18 again, and think you know it all....

 

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all of those at once. Truely sublime. But yeah it would suck if one got the wrong perception.