fucked-up dreams (does it mean I'm a fucked-up person?)

I've had fucked up dreams all of my life. When I was a kid I would have the same nightmares night after night, un till I beat the bad guy that was trying to kill me......but soon as I beat his ass I would never have the dream again (except for a few reoccuring ones).

They came so often that I soon learned to control them. I would be freaking out, trying to hide from Freddy Krueger or something like that, and suddenly realize I was dreaming. Then I'd jump out and scare the shit out of Freddy, and just stomp the shit out of him. I would use my "powers" to overcome all of the scary shit coming my way.

Eventually I started getting better at controlling what went on in my dreams, and I could even change my surroundings. If I knew that I was dreaming, I could just close my eyes, wish real hard....and end up in Amsterdam surrounded by pot and strippers. ANYTHING I WANTED. I couldn't wait to go to sleep at night because every dream turned into this kickass video game where I could do anything I wanted.

But over time my dreams started to fade away. I guess all the bad guys got tired of getting the shit kicked outa them lol. I rarely remember any of my dreams anymore, and when I do they are very blurry and random. I can't control them at all anymore besides if I want to wake up. It sucks. I miss flying over to my firends house to eat spegetti with Pam Anderson, Charles Manson, and the muppets.

 

During a rather extreme bad time in my life (broke back, dealing with L&I) I had reached a point that something in my mind allowed me to dream very vividly about the who, how, where and why I was going to kill my L&I claims agent. I could see the car he drove, the road he took and everything. My doctor perscribed these really small pills that made me not give a damn about anything. You could have kicked me in the nuts and I would have thanked you. The dreams stopped, he (my doctor who also was a state rep) took care of that claims agent with L&I and all was well withing 30 days of me telling him about my dreams.

 

There was one dream though that I never did beat. It was the only one that I didn't learn how to control.

I would be in this pitch black room, but I would allways know that there was something in there with me. I never could see him, but I could feel his presence. He'd tackle me from behind and we would roll around on the floor duking it out. If I got ahold of him I would be able to get a few punches in, but he'd allways get away from me. I never knew which way he'd be coming from or how hard he was gonna hit me. Sometimes we would fly through the air for what seemed like an eternity he'd hit me so hard.

I haven't had that dream in years, but every once in a while I think about it. I'd still like to figure out how to kick that guys ass.

 

I had a really creepy dream just before I woke up today. It was fucked up.
I think I was helping this little person escape from some house. We opened this window and it didn't look safe, so I said we could just go down the stairs if he wanted. He agreed, but before we could get there this green woman thingy flew through the window at me. I can't quite recall what she looked like, but I'm pretty sure she was green and flexible. Now we're in my room and I'm on top of her but she's pulling my face with her "hands" (they weren't exactly like real hands) and is threatening to stretch it apart or something. It kinda hurts but is just tension not actual pain. I start ripping at her and trying to kill her to get her away from me, but nothing works. I'm seriously freaked out by this woman. Somehow I get her "hands" off of me and I go across my room to my dresser where there is this bottle of creamy white lotion. Somehow I think it might kill her. So I start dumping it out over her as she lays on my bed and instead of it dripping out like lotion it comes out in tiny white flecks. It doesn't do anything, but she's got her eyes closed and isn't moving now. I just take the bottle (which is glass) and start bashing it on her head. It doesn't break or anything. Usually when things don't work as they should in dreams is when I start to realize that it's not real. I kept beating her with it but nothing was happening. Then it occurred to me: I don't have to finish this out. I can just wake up. So I kinda closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself in my bed. I thought it was working when I was transferred there, but then I woke up for real when my phone started ringing a second later.
I hadn't reached that level of creepiness since I dreamed about that woman that was permanently chained in my grandmothers foyer (several years ago).