Full Trip Report : Dissolving Reality - My final experience

I still think and contemplate on my experiences everyday, too much really, i've been trying to not over analyze so much actually. I've had a lot of fun over the past few weeks, enjoying nature and the company of my friends. I keep having like.. "flashbacks/epiphany" moments, were i just sit back, grin like a motherfucker, and think things like " Hahah, fucking life, it's so mindblowing in everyway and i get to experience it" and I just get this over whelming feeling of contentment and happiness.

I'm struggling on how I'm going to integrate back into society though... I lost my job last month. But now... I feel like it's going to be much harder to go sell my life for paper with dead dudes faces on it. I've been seriously thinking about looking up info on communes and that whole scene or possible just going on a trip to find myself out in nature. I grew up in the woods so i think i could survive it with a little help xD.

Thank you. I agree, maybe one day I'll be ready.

The thing is, on LSD, I was tossed into that endless energy of eternity, with no warning and it was the most amazing thing ever. Then just as abruptly trown back into reality, and that left me very confused and disoriented, and lead to some pretty negative shit.

But on mushrooms.. oh jesus.. it was like every moment of my life before that was leading me to that point and the mushrooms were leading me thier by the hand at a slow pace, showing me the sights along the way. Then when we almost arrived, I was really believing holy shit this is it.. it's never been this real before, if you give into that this time thats it, you're not coming back here. But, I did give in, I guess just for a split second and thats when the rush of eternal energy came. I guess, on the voyage to the place LSD took me, somewhere along the way my ego decided it didnt really need to go there again and fought to come back to reality. During this, i don't know if i forgot i was on mushrooms, or it just seemed like it didn't matter, but everything seemed quite real , no insanity or visuals, it was like just pure reality pouring into my brain.

I honestly question now sometimes... that.. like if I went back to that place, and i truly accepted with a clear mind and heart, and threw away the baggage of being human and truly embraced eternity that, i just might indeed leave this reality forever. I don't necessarily want that, and i'm too much of a pussy to try right now anyway, maybe one day when i'm old if i get there ;P.

 

Yea if it shoves you full force into that reality it can be very intimidating. Its like shoving your face up to a window and his forcing you to watch the most intense think you ever witnessed, and there is no where to go, you must sit and watch. And the come down from that can be really disorienting, especially in earlier trips. In later trips though the come down smooths out and you learn ride that positive "zen" state out.

Oh man yes... That feeling of every moment has lead up to this moment right here. That is really profound experience and I am surprised you and others have experienced it intensely enough to say something about it.

As far as not coming back, perhaps its a possibility. Who would know if you never came back you could never tell anyone you left. I have defiantly felt like this is it, I'm not coming back, but I always do. I don't think the laws of the universe would allow it, but perhaps if you evolved enough being you could choose to leave this reality behind.

 

Good thoughtful report including doubt, fear and realisation. This is why I say 'shrooms are a sacrament to be treated with respect.
As a rational and thoughtful person I feel you will be able to integrate the experience.
Haven't had 'shrooms in about 20 years and I'd like to find a few growing around here.