Got one Mom question.

It's obvious where a lot of these opinions are coming from on this. The kids agree that it's not justified...and the adults think the opposite. It's her house, she pays your bills. The end.

So, you can either think in the childish mindset...or be an adult about it. Buck up. Get your shit done...don't fuck up...and there are no consequences.

 

it depends on his ability if he actully cant get better then a C he doesnt really stand a chance. its more understandable but still not reasonable to threaten someone with that if they werent putting the effort in. its like your boss saying 'ill cut your dreads off if you dont do X' thats unreasonable but at least you have a choice about it because you can quit a teenager can hardly run away from home or sustain his own living its not fair. I wont argue anymore after this as i see your mind is made up and your a lost cause.

 

....?

 

ill rephrase it tommoro iam to tired right now sorry

 

sorry but tome thats not good motivation..mmine tried offering me a couple thousand $ to cut my dreads, &that was at a time when i was far worse off then flat broke...didnt work though..cuttinyour dreads cause of grades wouod be more likely to make ya drop out of school then dstudy more

 

I hope you know I'm not the type of people who get things quickly so highschool isnt a breeze for me... Im just updating you guys.

 

What subjects are hard for you to understand?

 

Math definately, L.A. and thats it my mom will use them againist me too XD

 

you know you are really lucky. Most kids your age wouldn't be allowed to have dreads in the first place. I think your mother is probably a very reasonable person, just at her wit's end because you won't try hard enough to live up to your potential. She wouldn't make an ultimatum she didn't believe you were capable of acheiving. Mothers don't work that way. Talk to her, but you also have to listen to what she's trying to say!! High school sucks, I'll be the first to admit that, but it's not so hard to make decent grades unless they have placed you in classes above your ability. Most schools do the opposite, though, and expect too little from students. How difficult is it to put forth a little effort? If your mother sees you studying harder and actually trying to get better grades, she'll cut you some slack.

 

Well math is "easy" to learn... The only things you have to do, is ask all the questions you need to be answered. One thing that really helps me out with math, is that i would make my one conclusion on how to do it. Which then Ill go to teacher and ask her if thats the right way to that...
Also the most important thing is doing your math work (dont do shortcuts right away or your going to get lost, do the long way, untell you can do the long way mentally and write down the short cut. If there is a short cut...). Also there is the reason why she (or he) gives you homwork.
One more thing, no question is to dumb. But if you believe a question is dumb, wait untell shes (or he, my math teacher is a woman ) done the lecture, and ask her then.
I learned all these tips myself last year when i did the complete oppisite of these things. Hope it helps...

Also whats L.A?

 

I don't think it's appropriate at all to use manipulation to manage you're children. For many people ultimatums force people to give up, it does not motivate, it makes people feel used and patronized. If mom wants you to get your grades up she should use a technique that actually has something to do with your grades. Your hair has nothing to do with your grades and the punishment doesn't make any sense.

And for some people college is actually easier than high school. Making good grades is not always about putting effort in, everyone learns in different ways, and schools tend to teach in one way to try to cover the bases with every student. Beyond that teenagers have a lot going on in their body, and around them, and have a lot going on in their minds. For some it's difficult to focus on every class they have, and some of their grades will suffer because of that.

I know that I had a lot going on in my family, and in my own head, and being pressured from my family only made my grades worse. Having too much pressure on you, too much stress, can greatly effect your energy level and how much effort you can put into studying. Now, I don't know why this kid is making C's, and I don't know if this is the first instance, or how many times his mom has tried, but based solely on principal, I do think what she has threatened him with is a form of torture. And I think if parent's want to have good relationships with their kids and have kids who are respectful of them, they should respect their kids as well.

It could be that she is just saying this and wouldn't actually do it. But she could, I've seen similar things happen. But I think lots of parents are overstressed about things that are not necessary to stress about. You're not going to hell just because you make C's. But anyway maybe look into tutoring.

 

It seems pretty reasonable to me, my parents tried it all too. But I didn't start getting good grades in high school until I started to want to.

 

rephrasing this for whoever put the '?'

what i mean is that its more understandable if he is not fulfilling his potential rather then him trying his best and still getting C's but its still not reasonable or justifiable at all.i then went on to use a analogy comparing the pupil to a employee and the mum as the boss saying 'ill cut your dreads if you dont do (insert task here)'.

Also iam quite intested by whoever said college is easier then highschool could you please explain?

edit: moncul i agree with the only achieiving your full poteintal if you want to. it would be a better idea to reward someone if they suceed rather then punish them if they fail. Thats the main reason i dont do as well as i could do in highschool i just dont have the motivation/willpower.

 

I wasn't the one to say it, but I definitely found college much easier than high school. Main reason being that I was studying things I wanted to learn, rather than things the government thought I should learn. High School was just plain boring and sheer torture for me. College was fun and interesting. I was allowed to ask questions of my professors in college, in high school you get in trouble for saying anything. Couldn't have been more different.

 

Yeah, I'll second you on that one, mamaboogie. I was This Close to dropping out of high school my senior year, but now that I'm a senior in college, with a 3.3 GPA and getting scholarships from the UN to teach English in China, well...

All I can really say is that I'm glad I buckled down and did the work in high school, even if it almost killed me to do so.

 

thats pretty harsh man....i dont think its fair at all

 

haha! I think I'm somewhere in the middle

 

That's like my boyfriend telling me that if I don't spend "x" amount of time with him that he will break up with me.

I have parents that have kicked me out of the house for simply talking to a male on the phone about homework. That was in grade six.


I've been in and out of my parents' house, on my own since I was 12...but that's a different story.

If my mom (i'm now 22 and temporarily living with the heathens) had cut off even one dread, I would cut her hair off..or call the cops. It sounds extreme, but when you're an adult or a human being with enough intelligence, you will see shit like that as assault. It is assault.

I don't care if hair is dead. No one has any right to cut off any part of your own being without your approval. Nothing.

So, she doesn't like your hair. Do you like her hair? Would you cut it off if she didn't make more money next year?

If she's going to make such a fascist manipulative arguement about your HAIR for Christsakes. Then fight. Or tell someone. My mom would even kick me out for talking to boys my own age....I allowed her to do it because I thought I was an evil Jezebell (my dad's own words). My situation is extreme, but if you allow someone to take that much control over you, things will continue to escalate. They always do.

Manipulative tactics are wrong and are a form of abuse.

Remember that.

Jen

 

^what button said.

 

thats probably one of the most replusive thing i have read in this forum, as for the original poster, if your mother cuts your hair off if you don't get good grades, tell your school and go to social services, hell tell your mother you'll go to social services.
if shes got any sense she'll know the type of trouble she'll be in, for doing that and DancerAnnie maybe you should have a think about what you are saying because in the eyes of the law that would be child abuse do you really want to promote that?
S