Help. BF not interested in sex since we moved in together

suck his dick more often..

 

you could star in a porno... he will see it and be like danggg i need me some of that..

 

have you gained weight recently?

 

Perhaps while he's watching porn?

 

Not that I'm saying that it should matter what a person weighs, except for health reasons but I will say that men can have some pretty bizarre and specific turn-ons and that can sometimes rule out a whole lot of what others feel are perfectly good turn-ons.

 

I've not gained any weight recently but I have become more aware of how I look, we have a vacation comin up and I've been upping my gym sessions to tone up and things. Perhaps it's my lack of confidence turning him off?

 

Seriously, just talk to your boyfriend. He's the only one who can tell u what's going on in his mind.

 

We did speak last nightand he said that he was stressed with work and tired at night. He told me that he was getting horny during the day when I was out and would have to sort himself out. I asked him to tell me honestly if I was turning him off and could I change anything but he seemed to be really shocked that I felt like that, he hant realised what he was doing.

 

There's good chance that's a lame excuse .... just my gut feeling though.

He hasn't realized that he was jerking off instead of having sex with you? He can not tell the difference? Has his hand have your pussy tattoed on it and that confuses him to the point that he no longer knows which one he's sticking his dick in?

Seriously though, talk to him again and make sure that he understands that when you ask him wether he's turned off (or maybe how to turn him on?) he CAN tell you without fear of being judged. It's not always easy to admit such things - wether to yourself or your partner.

 

Have you tried to seduce him in the afternoon on one of his day's off?

 

Are you absolutely positive that he was ready to move in with you? Ask yourself, and I mean really ask yourself, "Did I do anything to pressure him into this move?" I'm only bringing this point up because I recently got out of a relationship that was less than a year old and I'm convinced that part of the reason I ended the relationship was because 3 months into to seeing this woman, she was pressuring me to move in together. At that time, I simply couldn't afford it. She kept asking me to look for a better paying job (which I was doing anyway - still am). She was only working part-time. She kept accusing me of having commitment issues and my only concern at the time was the practicality of simply not having enough money to do it. Basically she made me feel like a peice of shit loser for even worrying about it.

I kept telling her that I was focusing on getting out of debt and once I accomplished that, I would be in a much better position financially to cohabitate. She never let up - we'd spend the weekend together and on Sunday when it was time for her to go home (she lived with her sister) she'd invariably bring it up and express her dissatisfaction with our relationship - keep in mind - this started 3 months into the relationship. I wound up resenting the hell our of her, and I finally had enough. Basically, she became this selfish child in my mind, and though I never refused her sexually - towards the end, I can't say that I really enjoyed making love to her - I don't know if it was my resentment towards her or if I just suddenly became aware of it, but I felt like she was becoming increasingly selfish in bed too - I felt like was just this thing with an erection that she used to get off on.

Fast forward and less than a year later, I was out of debt, had purchased my own home and now I live alone, happily. Yes, I had to have spartanesque existence for a while to accomplish this, but I got through and things are looking much better. It's a shame, because I think if she'd been a little more patient and little less self centered - we might have had a nice life together. Maybe it's my fault, maybe I should have waited until I was in better financial shape before I got involved with anyone, in the first place.

 

I've found that when women start to nest, there is no rhyme or reason to it and you either go along with it or not but if you don't, you have pretty much missed the boat and they have moved on.

 

Yep. I can't disagree with that, based on my experience. Honestly, I felt like I could have been anyone - like I was just this general idea in her head and that I just happened to be the person she was with when this "nesting" urge hit - as if her decision to settle down or whatever had nothing to do with who I was. I was a just this thing to check off on her life's to-do list. I'm glad I opted out. I couldn't see how this would have worked out in the long run. I can't tolerate selfishness.

 

I can relate to this. I am in a 5 year relationship and for the last few months I've been working 7 days a week and my Monday through Friday just about doubled in hours and being gone about 12 hours a day on the weekend. Not exactly stressed but exhausted. It can take a toll on ones sex drive.

Combining not being at home much and then actually having a sex drive when the partner is gone happens. I have woken up in the night with her masturbating next to me. Sometimes I help (Making out sucking on her titties etc.) Sometimes I join in. Masturbating together can be fun.

Maybe you should plan on letting him catch you masturbating. Get yourself all worked up before he is supposed to get home. Sit on your couch with your hands down your pants really taking your time starting about 5 minutes or so before he gets there and let him walk in on you. That would work for me.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Next time you're horny just sit down where he can see and start pleasuring yourself, he'll either watch, join in, or do you, either way good times. The only other thing he can do is take off like he's avoiding it, which would be sad, but at least you would have a better idea where you stand.

 

I was waiting for the communication chestnut. Sweetie you pretty much all train them to keep their mouths shut. If they actually tell you the truth they wont hear the end of it.

Its all seriously retarded, all that effort focusing on future hubby, the one guy. Where do you get it in your head that you yourself are going to be able to stay attracted to the one guy ?....for...the...rest...of...your...life

You latch on to the one guy, domesticate him then turn around a couple years later wondering why he's not lighting your fire anymore, or at the same time run around in sweatpants all the time barking orders at him, then wonder why he isnt all over you all the time

You say he didnt realise what he was like. Do you realise what you are like to him?

You only have two choices, either dump him, go out and play the field - But if over 21 you are going to have to chase them. Or order a big screen TV and turn into your parents

 

Fuckin' A! You've just laid bare the hypocrisy of the contemporary heterosexual commitment fallacy.

 

LOL, which is why I shouldnt have bothered, just gets erased by "Pfft, whats a gay guy know"


Funny how it works though, I tell her ass is getting to big, we make a commitment to hit the gym together, to have a few hunky guys smile at me. Hubby tells her her ass is getting too big, doesnt get sex for 6 months, I tell her her ass is getting too big, I get more

Or maybe, just maybe, her ass isnt really that big, she may even still be hot, I just wanted a hot female gym partner, so its easier for me to tell which ones arent straight because they arent checking her out - muhahahahahaha

 

Since you can't change his behavior, at least not directly, I suggest looking at yourself. You may be doing everything you can be expected to do and its him, but just think about these questions: Are you sweet to him? Do you care about him? Do you treat him with respect? (no one jump on this as sexist, he should be this way to her too) These things are so basic to a good relationship but so many women neglect them. They constantly nit pick a guys every move, talk down to him, control him and then wonder why he looses interest in sex, or stops caring about them.

Men aren't as different from women as some experts would suggest, we might have sex with a woman once, but if it's long term and we don't respects us we don't enjoy sex with them. I can't speak for all guys, but if a woman talks to me like she's my mom, a cop or my boss even once, I'm not getting hard for her any time soon. I'm not saying there is nothing that would excuse this behavior, if for example a guy is a pig and you have to clean up after him you're going to want to nag, but basically if you can't live with a guys behavior without controlling him, you can't live with that guy. Because you aren't going to like where you end up by controlling him, or trying to.

 

I never pressured him into the living together/buying an apartment together, not once did I bring it up in conversation or suggest that we should consider it. He did.

I was living with a flatmate and doing great, saw him at the weekend and we both had our own interests during the week. He brought up living together and while I suggested renting, he was the one who wanted to buy, he wanted that 'commitment to a long term future'. So I can promise you I certainly did not pressure him

I like to think I treat him well and with respect, and without wishing to play to a stereotype I do cook his meals and do the laundry. but reading what some have suggested, perhaps I'm turning into his mother and less like a lover. Silly things like I know he ran out of hair gel so I picked some up for him, perhaps I should let him take responsibility for these things and stop pandering to him.

Our sex life picked up slightly at the start of the week when I took the advice to just grab him when we were together, he seemed to enjoy me initiating things so I'll do that more often, but I don't want to have to do this everytime it would be nice to be seduced once in a while.

We go on vacation soon and I truly hope it helps.