~HOMEMAKERS~ Has it EVOLVED????

i was just bitchy earlier. to be honest i have never trusted anyone so much in my life and I know he'll take awesome care of me.

You are right about letting him have bad days too...i need to work on that really bad. i can be very selfish and guys only see that as cute for so long. he calls me out on my shit though without ever getting angry at me, which i love
god i am soooo fucking high i love oxy's. i would get dental surgery everyday KC, it's worth it

 

who is this to? ah, I'll answer.

anyway, we have one joint account, and a couple seperate accounts of our own. I have alot more money than he does(which I earned on my own). He always deposits money into our joint for groceries and miscellanous things... I have every right to go into our accounts online and move the money around if I want, or if I need more. I'm not his slave... if I feel like going out with my friends and for some reason have no money I can take it. We just tell each other... if something is off limits we tell each other a head of time(like things set a side for bills). I work 24/7... mine is not as HEAVY labor intensive as his but I still work just as hard and he knows that. I don't put up with crap, I can be a complete bitch... and personally I won't stick around if I don't get my way to an extent (like if he treated me like a slave). I've been in a ton of bad relationships so when I got to this one he knew right off the bat what he was getting into and what I wanted. We've had our rough points but we really don't have any problems because we communicate.

 

Like a few of you have said, I expect a lot more of myself than my man does. I get grossed out if the house is dirty, and it takes a lot more to gross him out than me. So for my own taste as much as anything, I try to stay on top of household chores because I know that it's just going to make everything easier in the long run. And to be honest, I'm usually unsatisfied with his cleaning jobs anyway.

I'm not really a "homemaker" but I work from home, and he works away from home (as the main breadwinner/billpayer). Finances are both our job. Our financial accounts are all joint, and have been that way for 3-4 years. We only just got married last week though.

We have no plans for kiddos in the foreseeable future. But we've talked it through and know that if/when it happens, we both want to do it right. From that moment onward our number one job under the sun will be to raise a healthy, happy, functioning human being(s). Someone has to be with them, right? It seems sensible to me for that person raising them to be one of the parents. And since I would be the one dealing with maternity absences, since what I do best is already focused at home, etc. it makes sense for me to be that stay-at-home body. Also, since he has more verifiable work experience and such an awesome work ethic, it makes sense if only one of us is bringing in a regular and reliable income for it to be him.

 

regardless of how satisfying the work may be or not be, i wouldn't do it again unless a retirement savings account was opened BEFORE the wedding date. when a guy's passion cools and the daily routine gets old you end up being provider AND homemaker...and financially up the creek. not worth the risk with a 50% divorce rate.

 

But since our relationship has been a PARTNERSHIP from the beginning, and we have (and do) always generally wanted the same things in life - to be creative and productive, healthy and together, etc. and we have the same philosophy when it comes to the larger things like raising children, I don't see that as much of an issue. We will take care of it in time, as time goes by, as we always do. As a TEAM.

... But then, our relationship did grow and develop quite organically. Neither of us got into it looking for someone to settle down with, but as time went by and we just got happier and more blissful it became clear that that was what we wanted. I suppose if you're just out husband-and-father-hunting that having a well-paying job RIGHT NOW and a big fat savings would matter a lot. But for us it's about spending our lives together, building on that life and enjoying one another's company.

 

Congrats on getting married!!!!!!!!!

 

it's not about a big fat savings account, it's about being able to take care of your dependents even if it doesn't work out.

 

Ok what I want is:-

1) A girl who has a good job , but isnt so obsessed by it that she makes demands on me and my time.

2) I havent got a problem with her wanting kids , but I think if she stayed at home all the time , itd be a case of " the devil making work of idle hands and minds"
I wouldnt have a problem with her going out to work either full time , or most of the time , and then me paying someone to come in and help.

3) Finally , and some of u wont like it , Id prob wanna knock it on the head after 12 / 15 years or more and start again.
BUT Id want things to stay very amicable and friendly - without the nonsense of her trying to get her claws into a chunk of the money Id worked for.

Infact Id prob not get married to a lot of women , due to the way divorce laws are going.

I think British women have become a bit poisoned by the American feminist and "independent women" nonsense.Too many are aggressive and very male in charecteristics.Some other parts of Europe( mainly East) , they seem to understand the traditional mixing of opposites much more - much more girlish , but also realistic
in terms of commitment.

BTW I think men doing the dinner and stuff is basically a form of homosexuality.
( cue feminist abuse)

 

oh, goodness. i hear marriage in the UK is at an all time low. i think that's a good step.

 

you do realize that basically she'd have a job to pay someone else to raise your children. that never made any sense to me.

 

me either...that's the situation i'm in right now...working fulltime to pay uncaring strangers to give indifferent care to my child. wonderful.

 

I still find it hilarious that I have a job taking care of other peoples children while I'm paying for someone else to take care of mine. At least my job pays better since it involves psychology and not just babysitting.

 

You want her to work so she can use that money to pay someone else to watch your guy's baby...that's cold. I don't blame you for wanting someone who has the ability to pull a good income in, but the fact that you don't want your wife to be a full-time mother because she'd have idle time on her hands is alarming.
Then you go on to say that feminsits have poisened women in the UK. You can't have it both ways.
You can't have someone you can control when she has the capability to control herself...just something to think about.

 

its good that you know what you want, but independence is also a good thing. do you relaly want a woman who relies solely on you for her life, for her money her entertainment her social/adult contact her everything? youd go INSANE having someone that clingy around. independence/strength of will/abliity to act or be on your own is a good thing sugar.

ps ill make sure to tlel my boyfriend who cooked me an amazing supper last night and bakes even better than i do, that hes secretely homosexual. right after he fucks my pussy, of course

 

he probably secretly hates it though...right?

 

Oh no, but he wants her to work and not stay home with the kids. So he wants her to have outside contact. he just wants to control it ALL.

..I am sure he's going to find a girl quick and a nice and pretty one. He sounds like an awesome catch

 

I couldnt do it.
Kids are not for me and my b/f.
None of us has the intention of having kids anytime soon.
And i dont do well with kids.So being a stay at home mom wouuld drive me crazy.
I'll clean and all that crap but no i couldnt do the stay ta home thing.

 

Mamakcita ,
What Id want is for her to have a job that was ideally rewarding -monetary and personally , and something I could take more than just a fleeting interest in.
Also , it should pay more than cooking , cleaning , taking kids to school - so that would justify her / us paying someone.Id want someone who needs some stimulus away from just kids.

Bella - no Id pay for the cleaners etc out of my money too.
The issue is whether shes stimulated not bored out of her mind.

Re feminism , yes I see lots of British women being unnecessarily loud , aggressive , argumentative ,scheming , fighting in pubs , talking like men , behaving like the worst career males.Then they add in things like calling everyone "mate" and having farting competitions.
They think thats "equality" - well its lost on me.BUt thats just my personal preference.
Then they decide they dont like careers and theyd rather marry then divorce a rich man.East European women Ive come across are more girlish ( not "blokish" / mannish) and balanced re work and home IMO.Yes they can be mercenary buggers , but thats hardly new ...

I dont want to control a woman. I want her to have balance - a purpose , and time spare for a variety of things.Doesnt that sound fair?
Infact , if she had abrilliant job , I would actually be pleased - just id hope she didnt become some short haired lesbian type driven by demons and never having a balanced life.

Allonyn
Re your boyfriend.Im not saying nothing.Just have u ever wondered how your clothes get creased being left in the wardrobe?
PS he cooks a lovely quiche.ANd as for that creamy sauce....(tosses hair back and kisses his fingertips)

I dont follow u , Ive never said I want a woman reliant on me.
Shed have a good job for starters.
The fact shed work shorter hours could mean social things would be more governed by her perhaps -not the opposite.Plus shed have more spare time than me to socialise as I work long hrs

Bella again
No Im just saying what I think would work well with me.
Alot of women would say ( ok have said) "u work too much , ure only interested in work".WHat I am saying is , Id never be some sort of househusband / doing all the taxi-ing kids.Its just not me.
And if she said " I dont wanna work when the kids are at school" Id sa
y - ok what u gonna do? Charitable stuff?
Ok fine
Watching daytime TV and eating cakes all day and shopping for clothes u wont wear
? Erm , I dont think thats a healthy way to spend your life

Whats so bad about my opinion? Honestly I cant see it.

Actually I was expecting the divorce after 10 years thing to se
nd people off on one , instead/.

 

well, we mostly considered it a mercy to your future wife...

 

^^:lol: Just what I was thinking, KC!