How do you change a habit?

Lots of interesting stuff here, folks. Thanks. I don't want to discuss my cigarette/alcohol situation anymore because I know I "pat myself on the back" by talking about INTENTIONS.


I want to first do it, then divulge it. But thanks for the help.

Since I turned 30 I've investigated my life deeply (old age doesn't seem far) and I realize I've lived a life of avoidance. But that was my developmental path, and I'm not beating myself up for it.

That's what immediate-gratification patterns (drugs, habits, procrastination, porn, etc.) are --- avoidance mechanisms. A kind of dishonesty...

I'm now convinced only a life of engagement will send me to my grave fulfilled. Facing life's challenges head-on (delayed gratification). And in my vision of a life of engagement, cigarettes and alcohol (in fact, no immediate-gratification habit at all) play no part.

You guys are the best!
Thanks.

 

Well, sure we are! Hey, we try.......:H

 

I bet people will speak against it here, but I found Zyban made a huge difference for me.

 

I just learned about how that stuff works in one of my classes. So in case youre interested here it is. Nicotine binds to the nicotinic receptors, but not only that it forms a bunch of new receptors. So then when nicotine levels are low, shit really sucks until those newly formed signalling pathways die off. Zyban binds to the same receptors so you dont feel the intense withdrawal.

For me all it took was seeing my grandpa shrivel up and die of cancer. I just threw my cigs out one day soon after that and never looked back. I wore the patch for a day or two but I just wanted all nicotine out of my body asap. That was seriously hard to stop too, Ive heard nicotine is on par with heroin as far as addictiveness.

Its also the most powerful organic pesticide..

 

I like this...A LOT. Thank you for a thoughtful post.

I see 3 ways of dealing with immediate-gratification/avoidance patterns:

1) yield to it; (attachment to failure)

2) discipline yourself, just do it, force yourself to do it, etc. (attachment to success/outcome)

3) inquire into emotional attatchments to failure/success & initiate process-oriented (delayed gratification) patterns/routine/habits;

I'm trying the third method and I'm starting to see results. Process-orientation may be the difference between happiness and unhappiness, it looks like to me.

The "will power" method of "forcing yourself to do it" helps me for a little, then I crack.

 

Exactly...

It's one big reason people can't stick to diets, can't quit smoking, etc.
The thing is- there's usually parts of one's life associated with the behavior needing modification. We hang out with friends who smoke or drink; we think we can excise a habit we look at as small when we've woven our entire routines to accommodating it. To maximize chances of success, one needs to put forth a plan that minimizes reminders of what is trying to be accomplished. We forget the importance of applying psychology onto ourselves. Instead we aggravate any physical issues (tobacco addiction) by stacking the deck against ourselves and assuring that we'll be fixated on the very thing we're trying to be rid of.

Lifestyle change requires a thought out plan in order to succeed.

 

Agreed.

I think what "lifestyle change" means is --- from immediate-gratification/avoidant habits to delayed-gratification/process-oriented habits.

It's hard to give up immediate-gratification habits because I feel "empty." And that "emptiness" has to be "filled"; it's not just going to stay empty if I'm going to keep the motivation to live.

And "filling" that emptiness is a complete re-structuring of habits --- a "lifestyle change", as you put it, around process-oriented habits ("meaningful" work, etc.).

Thanks for the lesson. This weekend I didn't drink. Not because I was "forcing" myself not to. Actually, I didn't feel like drinking. The reason for that, I think, is understanding the above.

And you've just help me to it. So, thanks again, my friend.

 

in my experience you never really change a habit...you either supress it or you dont do it so much...

 

Glad I could help

 

I've heard that lots too, but I just don't see it being true. Maybe it has as low a success rate for quitting, but not because of how addictive it is.

Think about this; if you don't smoke for a few days, what happens? You turn into a dickhead, you're bitchy, you don't feel like doing anything. You stop doing Heroin cold turkey? You think you're dying.