how has dreads affected you

and your still here..off subject well at least in that brilliant post ya didnt attempt to attack my spelling..lol

bye bye i'll let otherts play with ya...

your still here contributing nothing but oih lets all pay attention to hhb...


doesnt matter if i dare or not... are you capable of walking away?


sorry pita if u reply..or anyone..besides hhb i might not read it for a few days im avoiding this thread in the hopes that he will go away so we can hiopefully eventualy get this back on track


and i appologize to all for arguong at all here..dealling with hhb at all over the years has been incredibly frustrating for many ppl..and i get extremely tired of his shit slinging
and constant derailment of thread after thread

ive even been forced to not post at all for months at a time because of his personal attacks and his attempts to make normal discussions impossible
this is just another example

others have said the same thing...theyve even tried having him banned for being harrassing...hes forced a few to leave and not come back..how many people have begged him to just noit post in theyrte threads or in replky to theyre posts yet wham there he is at every opportunity getting his kicks outta pissin ppl off

i appologize to everyone for having to leave this well intended thread..i would have loved to go on discussing the topic...but apparently the only 1 who had nothing more to say on the topic then "they havent" will never ever leave if i continue to discuss it..

but mark my words...... wherever i go.. whgatever subject i start posting on....eventualy he will derail that as well

just watch

bye my freinds

 

I'm still humble. I'm going to email you guys some humbleness, too.

 

<edit> deleted per request

 

Maybe this post should be deleted if we're going to continue going off on tangents....?

 

I find dreads have helped me develop patience, and have also made me realise how people tend to instantly judge you.

I'm finding I have to win people over with my amazing personality more

 

ahhhhhhhhhhh very well said


i also found tho that along with the patience ive found a i guess you could say willingness to help those who seem to be beyond help..

been dreadin 1/2 my life almost & really helped me trust in my choices and convictions and helped me grow strong as a good person, who knows im a good person wether
others can see tht or not...who i am not how i apear became more importnt.. how i treat ppl

it true it has given me great patience.. i mean ive
spent weeks even months many many houirs a day helping ppl who othrs wouldithrcall crazy and walk away or take advantae of use and abuse
just total strangers headed for trouble...or been there all theyre lives...but ya know just a lil patience and understandin can go such a long long way....
ive learned so much on my dread journey.. still learnin along the way..
but just never ceases to amaze me just how much ive learned and grown along the way

 

funny thing happened today.

today i met a person who was obviusly crazy and a drunk. and to be honest the first thing i felt was rejection, and wanted to walk away, like all the other people around there did.

but as he continued talking to me i started realised that despite being mentaly ill, he was an extremely nice guy and though it was hard to understand what he meant at some times, it was very interesting to talk to him, and we talked for a long time. and it gave me a warm fuzzy fealing as i felt like ive gotten one step further on my dreads journey, to become better person.

heh i remeber i thought after the first ten seconds. dude i wear dreads, i owe it to myself to get to know this guy before i judge him. and im glad i did...

 

So if you didn't have dreads you could have just judged without knowing him?

I guess I am missing something. Shouldn't a hair style (even a complicated one) be just that? You know, focusing on the inside regardless of outside appearance.

 

good to see you havin such realizations early in your journey i know many take years to appreciate where the journeyts taken them...but still u can start getting insights right from the start huh?

 

...

 

what your midssin is the point

ok say ya see some pretty skanky lookin prostitute on a street corner..ya probly wouldnt have the urge to talk philosophy with her or get to know her in any way shape or form unless ya were horny and wanted to...... but havin dreads..just by others bein quick to judge you your less likely to be quick to judge and ya are more willing to maybe sit down with her share her story find out why shes where she is, maybe even try to help herr get outta her situation or at lkeast try to understand why she is how she is..
it makes u more open to ppl... to looking deeper trying to understand & not just reacte the way ppl tend to just reacte

 

i would lie if i said thats not a possibility concerning the judging him thing, if i didnt have dreads and all. but honestly i dont know... i think that maybe my mindset wouldnt be the same, and as i mentioned my first reaction or thought was WALK AWAY FAST, but then i cahnged my mind beacuse of the commitment that i felt my dreads was, reminder of the desision i made when i did them. (dunno if im using the right words here english is not my first language)would i react differently without dreads, i cant tell, but personally i do believe so.

and thing is i feel that its more than just a hairstyle to me, but a commitment to myself to grow as a person person, and getting dreads and learning about what having dreadlocks was about was what got me inspired to do so.

im not saying it affects everyone as i felt it has to me, for some the changes it causes are insignifficant i guess. but personally i feel that it has ''worked''.

thats just me though, as hhb said each to there own.

''but still u can start getting insights right from the start huh?''

technically ive had dreads for hmm bout seven months, this is my 2 set as my first started growing together and i felt like just combing out and redoing instead before i damaged my hair to much by rippin it all apart. plus i got the wax out thx to that... oh realised now that was a can not cant

 

my 1st set grew together too (no wax tho just was clueless how to maintain em then) and ended up cuttin em after that i felt hollow..just not right.. by time i started new set i knew id never cut em and theyd just wear off from draggin on the ground

 

''just by others bein quick to judge you your less likely to be quick to judge''

today fexample to guys asked me if i had some kinda drugs they could buy, when i said no they asked if i knew where the junkies in this town where.

just a quite common (i guess) example of how people judge you when you have dreads. even though sellin drugs doesnt necesserily have anything to do with dreadlocks.

 

hahaha yea i get so annoyed by that
especialy when they lookin for somethin id never touch in a million years

 

I kindof understand your point. But people are judged quickly whether you have hair or not and it would seem that the majority use it as a form of fashion. For example, being clean cut myself and working in a armpit of an area, once in a while I get to stop for breakfest and have sat and ate with hookers (real street hookers - you know filthy, missing teeth, not horny inspiring material). I fed and talked to them - suprisingly they were in fairly decent spirits despite the job. Why would one need to bring ridicule upon themselves in order to understand others? (I only used the word ridicule as it seems like that is the reaction you describe "the looks" people give the dreaded folk - chalk it up to the lack of a better term).

At what point would you shave your head bald to confirm that you as a person have changed and can carry on "your path"? Basically if you couldn't shave them off after "changing and spiritually growing" then you would have acknowledged as having "vanity" as the reason for retaining them.

If it is a case that you just like the way they look, that's fine but I would like to believe that if you had truely progressed you could dress as you pleased and not treat others differently.

Honestly the majority of people I have met with dreads were just doing a Rasta style without adhering to the religious roots. Lion of Judah, or the hindus lack of vanity, etc...

Its all good though.

 

the majority of dreads ya meet are what....new dreads... look around, bout 75% or so are dreads whove had ejm a year or less..just beginng theyre journy only getting a glimpse into understanding..
many many do start the journy because of looks ..vanity..but there comes a point where feel oputweighs looks,
lets also not forget that many of us ..at least those who are a lil over 16..are on our 2nd set.so have first gotten a lil glimpse into what they can do for you..to you, then cut or combed and knew the emptiness you feel without em..then restarted the journey fresh and new with a fresher appreciation and understandimng

but ok since ya are insistent on using terms like ridicule and hairstyle (as aposed to lifestyle) lets just examine for a second hairstyles which invite ridicule.. mohawks multi colors ..guys with long hair, girls with shaved heads.. allk are expressions of somethijng within them, angst, playfullness individualitry rejectioon of parenhts values whatever leads you to take a brave step and not just blend into thye crowd makes you just a lil mopre you dont it?
all around you you see a sea of conformity, clean cut cowards afraid to break free of the image thats expecterd of them..afraid of ridicule..afraid of judgement..afraid of being more then just another clean cut cog in the machine..they go throuhgh life doing exactly whats expected of them, from the way they look to the way they dress act and reacte, they make all life choices based on what others would thijnk..

and then theres those who feelk the need to be more...and seek an escape from the sea of cojnformity.. they want somrething to set them apart from every other joe shmo walking around in a daze doin just as theyre expected to, and some look to tatoos peircings and hair as an expression of themselves.. these acts of defience can take on a spiritual meanning and can be decisions you make to set yourself free noty just look a way to be cool but to free your spirit from feeling trapped by societies expectations and rigid understandings of what should be concidered the norm..

so far this has been vague and not specificly dread related so lets move on to dreads
to many, growing theyre dreads becomes a spiritual realization and revolution maybe not all at once but slowly over toime they begin to feel like spiritual antenas, the roots that connect you to the ground the earth they keep you grounded and remind you constantly who you are as a spititual being a seeker of wisdom..a spreader of light.. not just someone seeking attention or attractio0n (or to simpoly fit in blend in and be largly ignored like conformists) but some1 whos willijng togive u7p alot to stick to what they believe in

since we mentioned hookers for some reason, this seems to be an appropriate place to bring this up... many of us whove had dreads awhile have come across people we felt a strong physical attraction towarfds only to be dismissed and rejected solelky because of our dreads ..we accept missing out on some purely carnal connections with some we may find attractive because were not trying to just look a way to be hot to the graeatest number of shallow people..my point being if you look at it purely as a hairstyle that invites ridicule you are forcing others who connect with you to look deeper, look beyond just skin and hair but make a deeper connection that goes beyond simplke attraction
ridicule me, for i am me, and at the end of the day, who are you ajnyway but just another spot of grey in the bland sea of conformity thast is society...

ok i know that was all over the place and barely coherant i juyst woke up and havent had my coffee4 yet
im not sure if i even answered your question or made a single point or just rambled on


ah ok just reread what ya wrote i think i came a lil close to touching on the point you were trying to make so let me try to addrewsss this paragraph here

"At what point would you shave your head bald to confirm that you as a person have changed and can carry on "your path"? Basically if you couldn't shave them off after "changing and spiritually growing" then you would have acknowledged as having "vanity" as the reason for retaining them."

vanity would leasd you to want to look good to those who look good to you
(fortunately for many dreads dreads lkook good to us so we can find plenty who look good to us who we look good to)
but each and every 1 of us have been interested in someone only to have this reaction " your cute" " eww yoiur not your hair looks all nasty".. vanity would lead you to cut your hair right away to look good to the 1 who u r attracrted to..
but we cant..why because we wouldnt feel right giving up all weve gained sporitualy for the sake of vanity..
we'd be betraying pour own personal growrh
youd be rejecting your spirit for the sake of vanity

can you even realy claim its a vanity thing when , going into it you flat out know that many will reject you solely on looks?
whemn your family might call you ugly over and over and over and even offer to pay you huge sums of money if youd just conform to what they think looks good? (my folks had done that)
but you just know your spiritr would not allow you to be untrue to your self..

dreads dont grow from your head... they grow from within you

 

My first set of dreads I had for a decade. I cut them because I felt a huge attachment to them that I did not want to exist. And the only reason I have dreads now is because my hair dreaded up. No other reason. Certainly not vanity, quite the contrary. Much metta to all of you

 

A few things first. The word "ridicule" was only used as lack of a better term as explained previously people who view them are not thinking "lifestyle" they are thinking "hairstyle". Not my personal opinion btw - if you are cool you are cool.

I wouldn't consider one "sheep" for choosing a path of appearing to conform. That would be the same as adversly judging one's character by seeing their dreadlocks, wouldn't it? You know judging others, while not wishing to be judged yourself.

Ok I think I got it in an around the block way. Basically it depends on the "grower" and "you" (meaning SE) can only speak for those who you know as others may have them for other reasons.

I would say yes, that it can be vanity. For example take the "Goth" look. They do appear to be attracted to others who dress as such and involved in a like lifestyle. The pleasing of one's own mind's eye is the core of it.

Anywho, thanks!

 

Thanks my man, I appreciate the answer. That is what I thought that those who truely felt the "attachment" would separate themselves from that "want".

Kindof tough to sum up but I get it.

Peace!