How important is sex in a relationship?

Absolutely 100% wrong. It has nothing to do with HIM sticking around. Sex is way too emotionally involved, and it's not something you can develop so soon in a relationship, it's about me finding the affection for another person because I do not ever ever have sex with someone that I don't really really care about or love.

 

Vanilla is overgeneralizing a lot of things lately, try not to take offense seized, he's obviously been burned one to many times, to the point where he's lost the will to judge each person and scenario on a case by case basis.

 

As for my own opinion I think for me I need to know how old I am before I answer this question.

But one thing is for certain, if there's no sex she better be a dang good cook.

 

not . this saying focused in girls that are not interested in sex . but when these kind of girl , meet a nice men with sex experience . in few words she was kind , he made slut .

 

I call my wife my "little bunny" we have been married almost 15yrs and we enjoy sex daily. It would be hard to go without. I love my wife and Id stay with her no matter what. I would never seek satisfaction outside of the relationship though because I think it would be depressing for her knowing she couldnt give it to me. We'd find a way to be happy im sure.

 

It would really depend on why they were unable to…and it would most definitely need to be medical or maybe even mental/psychological (which in itself is still medical), but yes I would stay. I think the test with this question depends on the age of everyone here and the amount of time they’ve been with their partners. But if my husband was just all of a sudden unwilling to have sex out of the blue, for prolonged periods to indefinitely then yes I would question it and the relationship and assume he was no longer feeling attracted to me.

There’s a large difference between not being able to have sex much or at all anymore and just not really wanting to. We have sex nearly mainly every second day or everyday if possible. So I’ll pick the former, because I love my husband enough to not mind if it’s not really achievable anymore…and I would hope he’d think the same of me if I was in the same situation.

 

I would want some sort of sexual gratification. Say if her vagina stopped workin (lmao), I'll hope she'll get used to the ideal of anal sex. If no anal, oral would be a must.

 

Sex is not just a penis going into a vagina. It is a whole range of physical intimacy that even very old people can share with one another.

I can't imagine expressing marital love without some of that expression being in a sexual context. The only way I can imagine it being impossible would be if one of us had a long term assignment far away (like in the Navy) and the other one was stuck at home with no way to love body to body. That kind of situation is very stressful and it takes a lot of strength of will to wait it out.

If she refuses to share some kind of body intimacy, then we both need marriage counseling or divorce.

 

for me the physical differences between a friendship and a 'relationship' is one of the MAIN differences.

i can talk to my friends, i can vent to my friends, i can offer advice to my friends, i can go out to dinner with my friends - but I don't fuck my friends.



maybe i should start fucking my friends, i dunno...but it is important. if you aren't having sex with your partner, or at least aware and mutually addressing that you aren't, it would make ME consider the relationship's ability to last.

 

because sex is a closeness with your partner, it's a connection. The mental, the touching all of that.

With out sex it's just a living arrangement with your bestie

 

I'd be frustrated lol! And I'd get him to do all the cleaning and cooking. And if it still continues I'd probably leave him thinking he wasn't in love with me anymore.

 

If I were in this situation and working on the premise that I would not be in a relationship with someone I did not love and adore, I would manage somehow. I would not look for sex elsewhere. I guess I would masturbate more.

To answer the second question - well, I am not in a relationship at the moment but when I last was we would 'do it' 1-3 times a day.

Hope you are ok.

 

Faelixx, absolutely! Either get counseling or leave is my opinion.

For me the sex is the canary in the coal mine.
I am not ignoring the way that modern American life and the aging process take the edge off desire, but your question was not about that.
If a couple have completely shut themselves off from sexual intimacy (even on days when you have time and are well-rested, it is proof that the marriage is in trouble.

If you still had a burning desire for intimacy, but your body was not up to it, you would get medical help, marriage counseling or rearrange your schedule to restore it. The sex is just a byproduct of the fire that should never go out.

I know of couples that stay together for the children, stay together because of the expense and stigma of divorce, or religious reasons.
I am not saying they should not try to fix these issues. But if they refuse to fix it, maybe it is time to think about divorce.

But you and your next of kin are the only one that will have to live with the consequences of staying or leaving. Your call...

 

I`m assuming by a 'relationship' you mean, you can`t have sex with anyone else, which is what most people mean by the word.

If not being able to have sex with anyone else already sounds dodgy to me when a couple is sexually active, it seems like the apex of moronic to expect someone not to have sex with anyone one else when you yourself have no interest.

That such a question is even asked, makes this thread from Mars. I`m from planet Earth. :biggrin:

 

Well, I do. And I don`t go 'around', if by 'around' you mean cheating. I have never cheated in my life. Cheating is firmly the outcome of monomania. Still, just because most people use 'relationship' that way, doesn`t mean it`s the correct use of the word. Does not mean monogamy is the only kind of relationship.

I think it`s worth pointing out that are many different kinds of relationships. And the one you`re apparently pining for, would be one of the most untraditional kinds: you want to be asexual, with a sexually active person, and that person should sacrifice their sexuality to your asexuality.

Well, that would be on a par with being a cuckold or a submissive, IMO. You want your desire (or, lack thereof) to take precedence over his. In other words, you want control. But, like everything, it`s just a matter of finding someone who will accept doing that. If you find someone who will tango, nothing wrong with it. It just ain`t gon` be me. I do not have an asexual or submissive personality.

I can 'chill the fuck out', but why should I? Sex is for reproductive purposes to you. Not to me. I have no intention of having a child. I have sex because I enjoy it.

Nor, is it a matter of 'MEN.' I think I can safely assume the overwhelming majority of women would not accept going without indefinitely either, all feminist hypocrisy aside.

 

Yeah, because your need is for your need to take precedence over his. That`s the only need I see in all this. You don`t want to have sex with him, yet he can`t have sex with anyone else. Like, you don`t ban him from playing a game of pick up basketball just because you`re not interested in playing with him, do ya? How incredibly controlling is that?

Dude, nobody is obsessed here but you. You just want your boyfriend to do what you want, and you`re extrapolating the world into some Sodom and Gomorrah because he doesn`t want to. It`s not that he can`t, it`s that he doesn`t want to. It`s like the chick who has had two boyfriends, and one of them cheats, and suddenly she`s convinced men are cheaters (never mind the chick he cheated with). You just happen to have rushed things and married the wrong guy, that`s all. Like most people, because people feel socially pressured to marriage and commitment. Or, because they think marriage is a substitute for taking responsibility for their own happiness. But, rejoice: marriage is nothing but a piece of paper.

Not until they stop.

 

Because no one actually believes that.

Men, why cant you just chill the fuck out?

The hurt that comes from your partner not wanting to be initimate with you any longer certainly not a male only thing.

The words you say out loud are irrelevant, talk of not being interested anymore, IF everyone else sees you getting aroused at hot guys that arent your husband.

If what you say is true, then its dead easy to test, you should have no problems hanging around hotter men, if you are truly uninterested, then you wont squirm in your chair, your cheeks wont go red, you wont get instantly angry when the really hot ones get within ten feet of you, and you'd be able to look them in the eyes when you talk, again without squirming

But if this is not the case, then being uninterested becomes to everyone else, just not interested in your husband any more, some poor doormat that did everything he was told only to end up stuck with a wife bored with him sexually

Half of you running around flirting with every other half decent guy thats not your husband, the other half too frustrated to get within 10 feet of anything with hairy knuckles so you dont make a fool of yourself

You have to make sure the actions match the words, and to do that you'd have to have complete control over your body, which you dont so its pointless, the choice isnt up to you.

They dont call you on it in real life, because what happens? they get a whole lot of Oh, thats disgusting mimimimimimimi even though your cheeks are red and the deer in the headlights thing when you when you look them in the eye.

Its beyond ridiculous, as Cherea said, the apex of moronic. It never worked in the first place, what were you all trying to do? run around convince everybody that because some guy gave you a ring that magically he was the only one your hormones are going to react to??? Or that 4 hour long orgasms arent important....but a whole lot of talking is??? Or pretend you arent fully aware that the type of MAN that is going to know what he's doing in the bedroom is one that was never stupid enough to get married.

In the end it just ends up sounding like: Guys, why cant you just chill the fuck out and be someones doormat, hand over your credit cards, spend the rest of your life celibate....dont you want to be happy?


Edit: And before someone says it. I believe in marriage. I just dont automatically accept any shit that comes out of anyones mouth

 

Ummm I'm a woman and my sex drive is very high. Sex is fun for me. I don't wake up every morning but I do think about it while hubby is at work at think of spicing it up on some nights.

Think of it like this.

Let's say you are the one with the want for sex, and your boyfriend wouldn't give you any and just stopped. But yes you do those other things together.

eventually you would wonder why, start questioning your looks maybe, I know I would start thinking he/she is getting elsewhere. I would want to know why esp if before there was a good sex life.

Like others have said I would stay through if it was medical reason's, I would even stay for a while with out sex, but after a few years of nothing and not picking up again then I would think about it. Because every long term relationship has sex ups and downs. But when the down stays down too long.....

 

^^^

I'll add to that the mathematics of it all. Theres always going to be variation, so rank everybody in whichever category and there will always be those at the top 1% and those down the bottom 1 %

Either end of the spectrum hqving no understanding of each other. So if you are close to the bottom asking why itw important, those that cant keep it in their pants or cant keep their legs closed arent going to understand why. Or what the fuss is about, its just sex. Those insecurities evaporate the hornier you are

As for answering your question, phrase it as 'Why is sex so important?' Fair enough, lots of consequences involved. But phrase it as 'Why are orgasms so important?' And it sounds stupid. Same as asking why laughing is important.

So the question isnt why is sex so important is it. What you are really asking is why that validation is so important?

 

Faelixx,

In one sense of the word, I have never in my life just had sex with another person.

Perhaps I should explain that by sex I am referring to "physical release" or sex in order to conceive a child.

For me sex as a distinct act does not exist. Even when I am alone, my fantasies are about the hope of sharing love with my sweetie in the future, it's never been about getting it on with some anonymous "babe".

In my life, sexual foreplay and intercourse has always been an inextricable part of showing one person the deepest love that I have for her. I think creating children is great, I just have not been in a situation where the time was right for us.

So over the course of a lifetime, even though there have only been a tiny number of love relationships that warranted that extreme an expression of love, even though the hours of in-bed lovemaking were far outnumbered by talking, dining out, walking down country lanes, etc., the lovemaking was an essential form of communication when that time finally arrived.

I enjoy seeing the nude human body in tasteful artwork, but it is not a daily part of my life. I don't like porn at all, never have. I can only get excited about being with someone I love. And she doesn't have to meet some physical ideal, although whatever physical beauty she has will be delightful.
When my lover and I came together like that, it was not to obtain a sense of self-esteem. The union of our bodies was simply a shared joy we took delight in giving to one another and I don't think either of us were thinking about school or work in the height of lovemaking.

If you don't have this in your life, I am not surprised that you don't like "sex". A lot of people, me included don't miss sex if there's no one who matters to share it with.

 

I really enjoy having sex with a partner.. I've hit 7 times in a day before. Not sure how much was the average but it was a lot.. couldn't contain myself very well.

I'd rather not be with someone that that is all I am attracted to about them.. but sadly that is the main thing I have been attracted to in my "relationships". I have been extremely self centered in my relationships and that is something I will work on should I ever get into another.

I am also a very lazy person and have realized that being with someone is a hell of a lot of work and also since I am heterosexual.. kids can be created and I've been on the front lines with kids and I just don't want a vagina near my penis at the moment.

I've never really been impressed by a woman in terms of intelligence though which is the most important thing to me if I really boil it all down.. the mind. That is what I want to be most attracted to.

Perhaps I'll encounter such an individual. In the meantime I'm going to count my fucking blessings that I don't have any children.