How important is sex in a relationship?

Well there was a time he MAY have been depressed because he wasn't working which i could understand. However, the issue had been going on long before that and now he is working and the issue is ongoing. That is why I say it's just an excuse. And as for scheduled sex, no our lives are not busy. He gets home by 615 sits on the couch all evening watching tv and staring at a computer screen or playing games on his phone.
As for anything else bothering me, not really. I mean if the no sex wasn't an issue I think everything would be fine. I mean sometimes I feel like a maid service because all I do is cook, clean, dishes, laundry, etc. but I think if we were having sex I'd feel like a wife and I'd enjoy taking care if him. But since I get nothing - no love, passion, lust, etc. it doesn't make household chores feel like I'm taking care of him (which is how i used to feel about it), now it just feels like im a slave instead.
I guess what pisses me off most is that he just constantly jerks off to porn. I'd understand if "it" wasn't working or something like that, but it obviously is. I am being replaced by porn. Just makes me feel crappy like I don't do it for him anymore or something.

 

I've read things online about porn addicts. Could that be? How am I supposed to deal/compete with that?

 

I feel sex may not be everything, but it sure helps. Now that we are older, I don't feel the lack of sex, would cause a problem. Only because in the early stage of our relationship. I had a job that required me to travel, did we decide to have an open relationship. So I guess if one of us were unable to preform. It would be ok to play around.

 

This sure sounds like he is under some kind of stress.
Different people react to stress different ways.
Some people have sex to relieve stress, some avoid sex, running off to some corner to find solace.
Porn is addictive, but before the addiction it is a form of escape.
Escape from what?
Love making can be painfully intimate for someone with poor social skills.
Sex (without the love making) is mechanical release. Pleasurable on occasion, but if there is never love-making, that's lonesome!

 

But if it is stress or something to that effect, could it be going on this long? I mean, its been the better part of maybe 3 years now. I just don't get it???? Why porn in the bathroom all by yourself when you have a hot wife just out of the shower??? I don't know what to do anymore but it is constantly on my mind makes me resent him more often than not. I just don't think a relationship can be healthy this way. I guess I'll eventually have to talk to him (once again) about it. Nothing ever changes though.

 

Hey! Don't ever be sorry to write about what is concerning you. This is a great place to remain anonymous and vent your frustrations and get free advice - but take that advice for what it is worth! Depression, frustration and stress can take a serious toll. You are not the first to experience this sort of thing and will certainly not be the last. I know that does not help, but at least you can vent some more!

 

Sex is very important to me. I love my fiance but if we were unable to have sex, he'd have to either be okay with me sleeping with someone else or let me go, I guess. It's sad to think about.

We have sex around 3-5 times a week and sometimes I don't even feel that is enough. lol I couldn't imagine not getting it at all.

 

I am 60, married for nearly 38 years and think that sex is very important in our relationship. I am happy to have wife whom I love, who excites me sexually and lets me kiss and touch her whole body, enjoy her excitement and assist her orgasms. I am a very lucky man. Sure I can masturbate when she is busy or not in a mood but I try to communicate together in sexual level at least once a week.

 

Honestly, I think you should tell him you feel like he put up a fake front when you met and originally fell in love and that it feels like a betrayal because he doesn't make you feel the same way he used to. You feel taken for granted and used (and not in the fun way). And he either needs to change or give you a divorce. Because you said everything else is fine but the way you're talking about feeling like a slave...that is NOT okay. You have to voice these concerns to him. If he's fine with the way you feel and the way he's treating you, you should think about whether you really want to spend the rest of your life taking care of someone who doesn't appreciate you or give you love.

 

To me this sounds like you two have lost connection. Is there anything you do together? Anything fun and relaxing? Does he have any hobbies? Do you?
I think it would be good for you if you took a dancing class together, went hiking or have some other regular activity together. I don't know what is most accessible and affordable for you, but having a common hobby is always a plus.

About housework: this is a bit tricky, because splitting housework is a matter of discussion and compromise. You have obviously took all housework chores as your job. How did it come to that? Was there ever any discussion about it? Do you have a job?

I personally would never do all the housework by myself, unless I was unemployed or lived alone.

 

do all the laundry, colored use bleach. whites use motor oil.



then you break all the plates. and make a tuna casserole. take all the broken plate and cook them up with the tuna. serve with a cold beer. say "enjoy" and walk out.. yw..

for kickers ,, powder sugar all the carpets with a trail outside..

 

Fuckin' wat? ^^

 

now it just feels like im a slave instead.
I guess what pisses me off most is that he just constantly jerks off to porn.

 

Communucate in a sexual level? Lol, whats that? how many times you two can grunt and moan before you pass out and fall asleep

 

What if I were to tell you that there was a secret language that men and women used to communicate sexual interest to each other…

And what if I were to tell you that if you knew that language you would be able to start making women feel attraction for you instantly…

…but if you didn’t know that language (as most men don’t), women would instantly turn off and never give you a second chance?

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/sexualcommunication.html

P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-xKgJdDWsY"]How Can A Woman Communicate On A Sexual Level With Her Partner? - YouTube

(P - Product placement)

 

My husband suffered a MRSA infection in his spine that left him with almost no function below the hips. Sex has been infrequent, I started crying about it and he basicly gave me a hall pass with condition that he was at least introduced and given veto over the man.
About three weeks ago my mother called and told me that my old boyfreind was going to be in town for a visit and wanted to see me. I slinked out of the house befor my husband woke up because he would have wanted to tag along and get to know my past life. I was not planning to go to bed with another man that day but just get talk with an old freind. I miss the east coast. We went and spent the day at a casino about 150 miles away. My old freind won a motel room for the night and he invited me up for a nightcap befor going home. One thing lead to another and when I woke up at 4 am I knew that I had made a mistake.
When I arrived home at 6:30 my husband wanted to know what happened the day befor and introduced him to my old boyfreind. My husband asked me why I was sneaking out when we had an understanding about how things would work. I got mad and said if he wanted to know what went on last night I would show him and me and my boyfreind had sex right in front of him, thought my husband would be aroused by what he saw but when my boyfreind turned me around I just screamed fo him to run. My husband threw his cane and caught him in the temple. All I did was run for the computer room and locked myself in and called the police. When they arrived they cuffed my husband and got a court order to put him in a stress center for depression. He is due home today. I know that he is probably still angry, but I have needs too. Any advice?

 

Get a good lawyer. If I was your husband I would want a divorce.

 

youre so clinical lively girl

 

Em, sorry? I actually wrote a much longer reply but scraped it after reading the CT's post again.

I really don't know what else to write. I'm not sure this mess is even possible to resolve, because there's already so much resentment on both sides.

Nothing kills relationship as efficiently as contempt...so unless they completely forgive, forget and put this behind them, there's really nothing to be done.
Some couples can get over past difficulties, but they have to be very mature, cool-headed, understanding and forgiving. From what CT wrote, I doubt this is the case for her and her husband...

 

Why would you call the police on him? Maybe you had an understanding but all he asked was for you to be open about it, no sneaking around. And by open, I doubt he meant to have sex in front of him. If you can work past it, that would be great. But if not, just let him go.