Haha that's awesome. I always used to have the craziest conversations with my mom when I was high (without her knowing). To the OP, have you smoked it yet? What's the verdict?
I smoke inside all the time. You just need to make sure you blow the smoke out through the window. Plus I burn incense all the time so the smell isn't even a problem. Also if you make a spoof/blowtube/terminator then smell will definitely not be a problem. The only obvious way to get caught is actually in the process of smoking. To answer the original question, if its really pooptastic you will probably be high for an hour, buzzing for another hour, and then feel brain dead for another 2-3 hours because you smoked serious poop.