How many of you are cutters?

I used to go off on my arm... But its always a long time between cutting sprees. Last time was real bad. I had at least a dozen slashes up my arm. It just felt a strange kinda good

 

who??? me? If you feel that way I don't care, it wasn't meant that way. Since you were all sharing what has happened what you did, I did too. I can't see where you get bragging from? Bragging that I got help? Actually I came back on here to delete what I wrote because its something painful that I've been thinking about all day now and I don't want others to see and you validated why that was for me now. Yea, even though your just some other kid on the internet its the same slap on the face as someone in real life laughing at me, hence the not telling many people who are close to me. I don't know why I decided to share with you, seemed like everyone was nice and understood here.

 

I've never done it, nor had the urge to.

Though, when I was 12, a few friends and I tried cutting ourselves on wrists, ankles, just to see what it was like. I tried, but I couldn't ever put enough pressure to draw blood or anything. Afterwards, I was just left with a few scrape marks. And that was the end of that.

 

I used to cut myself all the time cause i got stressed cause people wouldnt stop nagging me or slagging me of, but since i've met Daron(PeopleAreStrange)my boyfriend i havent cut myself at all cause now when people say anything to me i ignore them and just think about Daron he's stopped me from cutting myself i dont know how but now i just dont seem to want to when im stressed.

Sam
xxx

 

i did in december for a few weeks. but i never went deep because i didn't want my parents to find out. and then i told my best friend and he almost started crying so i stopped. i've never seen him cry before. and so i just think of that whenever i want to.

 

i don't know why on earth anyone would brag about such a thing...i mean i only said what i said because i was offering help...now that i think about it...it wasn't really helpful...the right decision is to stop...but i know how hard that is

 

This wasn't directed towards you at all, I'm sorry if it came across that way. I know what it's like to deal with it. I was simply stating that because I know some kids who do brag about cutting themselves when they don't know the consequences of their actions, I was simply saying that in case anyone was, it wasn't directed at anyone in particular. I was just sharing a thought, I'm sorry if it came across as that. Have a good day.

love.
chelsea

 

i cut myself pretty bad a few times when i was 17 but then i stopped and realize how stupid it is.

 

I'd like to know how to stop.....

 

Aye, cutting is a part of my daily routine. I bring my knife everywhere with me in case I feel the need.
I loves me some pain. mmmm, delicious.
Watching the blood seep out is wonderful.
It is hard to cover up though, and I'm running out of room on my arm.
At this rate I'll be wearing long sleeves for the whole summer. No shorts either.
Meh, small price to pay..

 

it's a realization that has to come over you.. suddenly, you don't need to cut anymore. but it's a lot like smoking - you can quit, and it's ok for a while, and then something happens, and suddenly you have these horrible "cravings". as with any method of escaping problems, it can be really addictive. people tend to not understand that inflicting pain upon oneself is just as helpful to some people as meditating is to others because ultimately, it can be dangerous.

i've always burned - it's much more painful than cutting, and if you only burn yourself mildly, the mark only lasts for a couple of days, so you don't have to worry about scars. if you burn too deep, the scar is pretty bad though, so be careful.

 

here's an idea, don't cut yourself!!

i used to cut my arms in highschool, and it was fucking gay. go get a piercing or something safer. I'm so glad i don't do that anymore.

 

I used to have a real problem with it, and no one understood. I was addicted to it, and I never dealt with my emotions, I just bled the pain out or burned myself (I have a huge scar on my arm). It was really hard to stop. Don't get yourself into that. I never had coping skills, so that's why I did. I've been getting really strong urges to start cutting again. Just don't get yourself into a whole mess. It's dangerous as hell. Quite relieving, but still dangerous.

VERY IMPORTANT:

Since so many people don't understand it and have so many problems with it, I'm writing a book. Not for cutters, but for the people who love/know them and want to understand it. Please send me your stories and things like why you did it, when you started, why you kept doing it, people's reactions, blah blah blah. Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart.

 

someone put in my rep, in response to this post, that "ignorance hurts". I in fact am not ignoring anything, I USED TO DO IT. Cutting yourself isnt safe and i don't support it. People should deal with their emotions without having to block it with physical pain. It all catches up to you at some point or another.

 

^^^^^^^^^^ same here!!! i was just about to comment on it!!!!

where at all in my replies was i ignorant!?!?!?! nowhere, i was just stating that i didn't understand it. that's all!!! fuck!!!

 

well, I didn't give you the rep, but what you said is like telling a drug addict to just stop taking drugs, not too helpful. They know it's not safe, but it's addicting. I've never done it, but know some who have. All you guys who are doing this should get professional help, I'm sure there are people trained to deal with this.

 

i agree with that completely, in another thread somewhere around here i posted that exactly, these people need help. And i know it's addicting, i said it once, i'll say it again, i used to do it. And i got help. I'm thankful as hell that i don't do it anymore. It's a disgusting habit that surpresses your emotions; it's exactly like an unatural drug.

 

thank you inbloom. you took the words right out of my mouth.

 

I used to have a real bad self injury habit....From stress mainly my psycho mother.

I was really embarrassed. I finally quit. You have to knock yourself out of that mindset, and find the root of it, and destroy it. Whatever situation, or feelings make you do it. Why? There are THOUSANDS of over positive outlets than making your blood flow.

 

I used to cut myself when I was in high school.

Under times of severe stress, I would undergo bouts of dissociation. It's interesting when this happens; I felt as if I was watching myself in the third person, and there would be this constant ranting going on inside of my head as I pulled the razor down my arm.

"Why are you doing this? You know it's crazy. Do you know what will happen when people see it? They'll think that you're some kind of freak. Well, you are, but it will give them even more reason to think so. And what will happen if the teachers at the school see it? They'll tell the counselors, who will tell your parents, and then you'll really be in trouble. What the hell is the matter with you anyways? You're overreacting. Grow up."

And then, of course, there was the 'other me', who would interject comments back, trying to justify the action.

I felt like poor Gollum.

It's a terrible thing to do. Everyone has different reasons on the surface for doing it; A relationship breaking down, nasty parents, severe loneliness, other things... But, from my experience, it all comes down to having very strong emotions and not having a way to express them in a normal way, so they end up manifesting themselves in something concrete and physical. In the end though, disrespect for the self, self loathing, is what it ultimately boils down to.

Once I finally came to and was 'myself' again, looking down at the cuts, I would feel very embaressed. They stung in the shower every morning, a clear reminded of earlier self abuse. Of course I would have to hide them, or make excuses. The most common was that I had to chase my dog through the woods and I ran into some briars.

It never worked though. People knew. I never was a good liar anyways, especially to myself, no matter how hard I tried.

And try I did, even though it only made things worse. This went on for well over a year, usually in bouts of a week at a time, then a month or so with no activity while the wounds healed. Well, the physical wounds, at least. The other wounds never really leave.

But, one day (night?), I was at it again, and something inside of me had finally had enough. I never really wanted to do what I did, but I never had the strength to say no because, well, I had no real reason to. I found a reason though, it was a re-learning of an old rule of Wicca.

I'm not a big fan of that Ye Olde English that everyone else uses, so I use something more vernacular; "Do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt anybody." What I had forgotten, or perhaps more accurately ignored in my self-pity was that I was included in that 'anybody'.

"What the hell are you doing? You bozo, put that razor down and promise not to do it again."

So, I did. I made a promise to my Goddess not to do it again. So far, that promise remains unbroken.

Now, religion isn't for everyone. Some might argue (Even I make this argument sometimes, it depends on how philosophical I feel at the moment) that I was really making a promise to myself. But, some don't have the help of religion or the self confidence to make a promise to either, and so my saga continues:

My very first human lady-friend (That wording, using for a reason, may be the subject of another, much longer and involved post), whom I am still with, had a problem with cutting herself too. Needless to say, this was a problem that I had experience with, and I was more than glad to talk to her about it.

That it was lovers do, by the way. They don't wuss out and leave when things get diffcult. They do what they can to help and support the ones they love, even though it may be hard.

Her problems were similar to mine, and simply being able to talk to someone she could trust helped her immensely. It's very difficult to pull yourself out of this on your own. Regardless, like any problem, having a confidant to talk to always helps.

She couldn't make a promise to herself to stop, nor is she strongly religious. Making a vow to a diety would be near meaningless to her. In the end, I asked her to make a promise to me that she would not do it again. She has come close several times, but she tells me that she always reminds herself of the promise and she stops herself. Helping her with this mutual problem has only served to bring us closer together.

The chain continued; One of her friends turned out to have the cutting problem, and with my lady-friend all the stronger and able to help, her friend has had but one incident in the past year.

Some people grow out of it; It just fades away, they stop one day and never think about it again. They are the lucky ones. Others turn to help such as God (Jesus, Yahweh, Kernunnos, Braman, take your pick, there's thousands), friends, family, or lovers. Regardless, it is not worth your time or the pain to go through it again. If you are having a problem with cutting yourself, or any other kind of self humiliation or mutilation, I urge you to talk to somebody - even if it is just a rock on the road.