How much attention do you like?

I can be an attention-whore and I can not be one.

Depends. I'm not a stranger to being the life of the party. Nor am I a stranger to seeking solitude.

 

yup. i think that's incredibly natural.

 

It's weird when I'm needy and self-effacing at the same time.

Ever feel that way?

 

you kidding? obviously.

 

I don't know why we do that.

I mean, is it a difficulty asking for help? I don't know.

 

i'm getting better. i think it's a mother thing.

 

I saw this pregnant woman on the train today. I swear she was the hottest thing I've seen in life.

She LOOKED man, she wasn't sacared of eye contact. Gosh, if she knew what sick thoughts were crossing my mind.

 

i bet she knew. she just had that "pregnant and dealing with it" mindset. dave adores pregnant women, too. he sees one going buy and just grunts.

 

No, no. She was inquiring about me. I had mysterious eyes set upon her. An imperceptible contemplative frown. Never a smile.

We exchanged upwards of 10 seconds in eye contact. WHAT a fucking hottie. Jesus Christ!

 

yeah. i'd have sat on your face when i was pregnant, i was so horny....or now, really.

 

She wanted me. I think I could tell.

She was soooooo sensitive. I could tell. Such complexity.

 

uh uh oh no you did-nt
biotch

 

don't you totally despise it when people talk over you? i think that's why i love message boards. people with the attention span of a fruit fly can't just talk right over you.

 

as little as humanly possible, mostly.

what i like is when something i've come up with makes someone happy, or turns out to be a good or useful idea to them.

but attention to myself, not generally at all.

i mean i like to snuggle and hug and cuddle ONCE IN A WHILE, when i'm not trying to do something, or have some idea burning a hole in my head i need to get down on paper, or make a picture of, or design an artifact of, or blab to the world on the internet. all of which are things i enjoy more then anyone's company.

very few people i get any more out of then creating and exploring on my own. and those being those who share my intrest and find gratification in, creating and exploring themselves.

it's great to be loved. i probably wouldn't be on the internet or have this computer, well if i had any resources at all, which sooner or later i probably would have, then i WOULD have a computer of somekind. someone says that because they love me, i'm able to live how i do at all.

but i'd still be happier earning my own keep and living entirely on my own.
again, at least most of the time.

any situation gets old when it stays too long the same, or for that matter, chainges to often or unpredictably either.

people just arn't really my thing, other then wishing they wouldn't create the conditions that cause each other's unhappiness. trying to impress them is even less so, but if someone likes something i actually creatively myself do, well that isn't what i do it for, but i like that. i do it, create, to show people what they could have if they wanted it more then they seem to want to blind themselves to the nongratification of how they've been conned into persuing it.

no i don't want attention, to myself, at all. i want people to pay attention to what the're doing and the kind of world the're creating by doing it.

i have to live in that world as long as my awairness occupies this life form, and so do they theirs.

=^^=
.../\...