How to Cook Asparagus

I concur with Fitzy.

 

This thread title made me laugh lol.

 

i just cut it up and throw it in some boiling water until it's soft

 

Braise them in butter under three or four leaves of dripping wet lettuce. The lettuce, lightly salted, would wilt, then give up a mild, sweet juice in which the asparagus would steam. Lift the lid and a cloud of vegetable essence will fill the entire kitchen.